Sara cynthia, you are NOT too old to change. I'm 60 and I have changed enormously with my people pleasing anxiety avoidance over the past 2 years. Amen to Alan Gordon for his words, they're perfect. Others here have said how to change, but I'll recap: - recognize and admit you do this. - recognize where it comes from (reflect, journal) - recognize the present day scenarios that keep triggering your reaction and feelings of anxiety, replaying your learned response. - understand how you really would like to respond in these situations and practice having this response. - stay with the anxiety when it comes up, don't label it bad or try to suppress it. 'Walk away' from the situation if that's appropriate, but don't run away as avoidance. Each time you do this step it gets easier. Think of it as an exercise or little test. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat...... -Go easy on yourself; don't feel guilty no matter how many times you have to repeat this process. We've been practicing the other way a very long time. You will notice results.