Good progress report!

BloodMoon said:
I just wonder though whether a lot of TMSers are restless souls like me who haven't found 'a calling', if you will, and how that is overcome-able if it is, as we surmise, important in terms of TMS recovery. Not that I'm expecting you to know the answer to this, but I would be interested to hear anyone's experience of this, as for me not finding a passion/ 'a calling'/something I love doing has been like an ever increasingly widening hole in my heart, that I feel deep down at my core, like a backdrop to my life.
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I don't think I've found anything that I'm passionate about, or a "calling". I've totally made peace with that and I'm okay with it! I enjoy doing all kinds of different things. I've let my heart guide me to whatever makes it sing. It could be a new creative outlet that I discovered or a new workout. I'll do those things for a little while and move on to something different. I may come back to it, I may not. I think that's the beauty of life and experiencing new things. I no longer get stuck on not having something constant.

I think you found a good topic to explore emotionally and journal about!
 
BloodMoon said:
Thanks, @HealingMe, I think you're right about that. As I am in my late 60s now I'm exhausted from being a 'butterfly' my whole life. I wish I found it enjoyable, but I just don't, and it makes me feel very sad.
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It’s never too late to get passion. It often lies dormant and just waits for the right time to arrive. :)
 
Diana-M said:
It’s never too late to get passion. It often lies dormant and just waits for the right time to arrive. :)
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You saying that reminds me of Geoff Capes who was a British shot putter; he won an olympic bronze medal and then had a career as a strong man and won the world's strongest man competition a couple of times. Later on in life though, of all things, he became a champion budgerigar breeder. He took up the hobby after a chance meeting, when as a policeman he was sent to arrest a man for non-payment of a fine; upon seeing the guy's budgies in their aviary, he chatted to him for over an hour. I guess you never know when inspiration might strike!
 
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BloodMoon said:
I just wonder though whether a lot of TMSers are restless souls like me who haven't found 'a calling', if you will, and how that is overcome-able if it is, as we surmise, important in terms of TMS recovery. Not that I'm expecting you to know the answer to this, but I would be interested to hear anyone's experience of this, as for me not finding a passion/ 'a calling'/something I love doing has been like an ever increasingly widening hole in my heart, that I feel deep down at my core, like a backdrop to my life.
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Well, this was like a gut punch coming from you, @BloodMoon, and I'm in full agreement with @HealingMe:
HealingMe said:
I think you found a good topic to explore emotionally and journal about!
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I feel like you've opened up a big 'ol can of worms on yourself (@BloodMoon) and each one is waving an enormous red flag. One of those red flags is all about the core human issue of Mortality, and the cultural pressure of "running out of time". I don't recall where you stand on Mortality, but it's right here staring you in the face. Clearly, one of the other core issues, Meaning, is also at play - which is tied in to running out of time, as in: what's the point of my life if I don't somehow "make my mark?"

Look, this is aimed at everyone, because it is absolutely universal - at least among those of us who are lucky enough to have a life that extends beyond mere survival. I've addressed this, and sometimes I still do. I don't want to go all "be grateful for what you have" on you, BUT I think it's worth pointing out that this desire to "find my passion" is all tied up with pressure. Universal, historical, media-fed, cultural pressure to have a life that is meaningful or memorable in some way. And, as my therapist CONSTANTLY reminds me - there is nothing that gets in the way of recovery like Pressure.

Get out the pen and paper my dear. You've got some work to do.
 
BloodMoon said:
What exactly do you mean by this?
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Oh, gosh - by "gut punch"? Maybe it's an americanism - it's a term for something that really hits emotionally and/or deeply - you know, because we often feel so much in our guts, right?

You've been such a valued member of our community here for quite a while, and this revelation really hit me because it seems like something which is causing you a significant amount of distress, perhaps even suffering, and I just really had a strong reaction when I sensed that.

As I mentioned very briefly, I really have considered this particular issue myself, and I feel like I found my peace with it. It has definitely ended up on numerous long-gone pages of journaling!
 
JanAtheCPA said:
I think it's worth pointing out that this desire to "find my passion" is all tied up with pressure. Universal, historical, media-fed, cultural pressure to have a life that is meaningful or memorable in some way.
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I think people with a spiritual perspective, a religion or a philosophy, don’t struggle as much with the meaning part of life, and even the mortality. I think that’s the joy of basing your life on eternity and not on this world. Everything gains such a greater meaning— and what you do here can be taken there. And, in that sense, there really is no time limit for any of your dreams to come true.
Diana-M said:
What surprises me the most is how easy it is to get pulled into the vortex of complete despair. I will never forget how dark and toxic that place is. But the remedy lies in DOING SOMETHING YOU REALLY LOVE. That’s the key to getting better.
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I think I might have had something to do with @BloodMoon ’s thoughts. I was pointing out that having something you love will keep you from despair— And despair feeds TMS. Having something I love helps keep me from being hopeless. But I don’t think it’s the only way to keep from being hopeless. Everyone has their way of surviving. I also don’t think you need a passion to heal from TMS— You just need to get your brain off of TMS somehow— however you do it. For me being unemployed has been really bad for my nerves. Claire Weekes talks about it a lot in her book, Hope and Help for your Nerves. She says people with hypersensitive nervous systems need to be occupied every day or else they will just think about what’s wrong with them. Whenever you do something fun or something that occupies your time, your nervous system is actually resting, she says. It’s healing. I think it could be anything. It doesn’t have to be a passion. I just happened to lose my typing ability because of TMS and I couldn’t work anymore. Working used to keep my brain occupied. So now I’ve replaced it with writing a book longhand.
 
Diana-M said:
I also don’t think you need a passion to heal from TMS— You just need to get your brain off of TMS somehow— however you do it. For me being unemployed has been really bad for my nerves. Claire Weekes talks about it a lot in her book, Hope and Help for your Nerves. She says people with hypersensitive nervous systems need to be occupied every day or else they will just think about what’s wrong with them. Whenever you do something fun or something that occupies your time, your nervous system is actually resting, she says. It’s healing. I think it could be anything. It doesn’t have to be a passion. I just happened to lose my typing ability because of TMS and I couldn’t work anymore. Working used to keep my brain occupied. So now I’ve replaced it with writing a book longhand.
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I agree with this wholeheartedly. If I’m not engaged in something, I’ll find something to worry about. Today I spent the whole day painting our front door and my heart is singing. I could feel tension melting away and my body relaxing. It’s an addicting feeling, for sure, to be at ease. I don’t have a passion. I just find exciting and fun ways to let my body and mind relax. And I’m totally okay with that.
 
Diana-M said:
  • Decided I’m going to freelance again instead of sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I think being retired has been killing me. I’ll have to write using audio, but at least it will work.
  • Resurrected a novel I started a while ago. Worked on it all weekend (long-hand) Super fun!
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Yes, girl!! When you are a writer nothing absorbs your mind like writing...this is such a good move for you!
 
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