Rogue Wave and Miffybunny, your opinions mean a lot to me, so I want to put this out there, just once, and then hopefully I can move on. People are always saying that symptoms don’t matter, that it can all be TMS. I guess I have felt my symptoms are rather unique, so I’d love to have some reassurance (I know this isn’t ideal) that my sensations fit the TMS mold.
I have experienced other TMS symptoms in the past, and even my doctor said I have been in and out of his office with various symptoms that just went away on their own. He feels I have anxiety. I have been anxious for as long as I can remember, but it seems to be taking on a life of its own. What I have now is a prickly hypersensitive sensation on the skin of both legs. The feelings move around and are sometimes imperceptible. I don’t get it at night in bed when sleeping or reading. Clothing irritates me. In addition, I can get surges through my chest that result in the prickly skin feeling, almost like goosebumps. Even if someone touches the back of my neck I can get this. It all scares the hell out of me and I’ve had it a long time. This is actually my third bout. The first two went away quickly. I’ve done the medical circuit, including 3 neurologists, MRI’s, bloodwork and on and on and on. I feel the medical avenue is closed.
It would be a relief to me to believe 100 percent that this is a mind/body situation. I’m tired of feeling afraid of it. We are advised to check in with our emotions, but the emotion I feel most is fear, fear of the sensations. There are other things that come up too, such as anger etc., but it’s mostly fear.
The advice you two have given in this thread has been amazing and I think about it often. Thank you!
First and foremost, we aren't your primary physician, so we can only give advice, and not make an actual diagnosis.
However, it seems like you've done your due diligence around this, so very likely you are having simple symptoms of GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), which is really what TMS is. I posted this before, but please check this list. It is the most comprehensive list of anxiety symptoms I've ever found online : https://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml#anxiety-symptoms-list (Anxiety Symptoms & Signs)
I don't know your history, but I can guarantee you've probably experienced quite a few things on there!
So let's look at this more objectively, to take some of the emotion out of it. You have an obvious TMS/anxiety history, you've had these symptoms before, and they resolved on their own before. That alone is usually enough to warrant a TMS diagnosis. Also, if it were something else, and you haven't been treating it with anything, it most likely would have progressed significantly in some way.
So I'm going to list a few more of Hillbilly's posts that helped me. A lot of what we are saying is repetition, but sometimes it helps to hear it in a different way. I don't want to take credit for his words, so I'm pasting them here:
"The first and final hurdle to getting well is and was and shall forever be when you no longer care how you feel because you have determined that your ailments are benign and can no longer scare you or keep you from accomplishing anything. A disciplined mental approach to thinking about accomplishing your daily tasks despite bodily rumblings is essential while you recover. Self-discipline is the no. 1 goal. You have to take it seriously and do it always. No exceptions. Despair over how you feel even for an instant has chemical byproducts that worsen the way you feel. Imagine what happens if you despair all day, every day for months or years over symptoms that are created out of despair to begin with. Ironic, isn't it?. The worst thing facing you is emotional chemical releases, which are nothing at all, really. They will burn up in time if allowed to without cycling through the additional negative reactions to how you feel.
"In my opinion, it is best for people in recovery to not read forums of any type after they have reached a point of acceptance that they suffer from a benign process of their nervous system that should be ignored as a barrier to living their daily lives as fully as possible. The reason(s) why are numerous, but you certainly are experiencing the most important, which is that you are highly susceptible to negative influences in your thinking at present, and any strongly worded complaint or description of someone else's can and often does become a reality in your own life.
This you can experience for a lifetime if not put out of your mind and the activities of life taken back up. All crutches, including reassurance, must be removed and the person relearn to trust him/herself and become your own source of strength going forward, not just while you recover, but for the rest of your life. "
"The "tools" of recovery, as they are called, are reminders that counter the thinking and behaviors that make us sick and keep us sick. There is a four-part example on the self-help systems website that explains how all this works. Ultimately, it is the act of humility, or acceptance, that saves us. We give up the fight to win outwardly and look inwardly for our strength to carry on. We cannot increase our stature with others, and this is often at the core of the problems we face. We can seek self-acceptance and accomplish what we need to in order to be productive members of a group (work, family, team, community), and that is the great wisdom of this approach. Accept yourself as no better or worse than anyone else, just a dude trying to get by. The stuff that breaks your back is almost certain to be outside your control.
The ironic thing about this is that the wisdom of the ancients has all revolved around self-control and discipline. The world is crazy, society is corrupt, but with training and discovery of our inner strength, we don't have to play along. We don't have to rail and rant, just decide yes or no. That is a powerful tool. The will says yes or no. Choose. Wisely.
Examples of the "tools" are below:
Treat mental health as a business and not as a game.
Humor is our best friend, temper is our worst enemy.
If you can't change a situation, you can change your attitude towards it.
Be self-led, not symptom-led.
Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous.
Temper is, among other things, blindness to the other side of the story.
Comfort is a want, not a need.
There is no right or wrong in the trivialities of every day life.
Calm begets calm, temper begets temper.
Don't take our own dear selves too seriously.
Feelings should be expressed and temper suppressed.
Helplessness is not hopelessness.
Some people have a passion for self-distrust.
Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms.
Do things in part acts.
Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance.
Have the courage to make a mistake.
Feelings are not facts.
Do the things you fear and hate to do.
Fear is a belief—beliefs can be changed.
Every act of self-control leads to a sense of self-respect.