Spontaneous orgasm - So scared!

[Scytaic]

I'm so scared, I had a spontaneous orgasm while in the car out of nowhere! Has anyone ever had this?? I'm so scared that this isn't TMS.
I'll try and keep my history short but I've been scared of the condition PGAD for years now and I came off antidepressants 5 months ago which can cause PGAD. Since withdrawing I've been getting so many weird symptoms that could relate to PGAD but they started getting better when using a TMS approach. Things got better with reassurance or distraction, even weird things like excessive vaginal discharge and hypersensitivity to touch in that area, and other symptoms I can't think of right now. For most of these months I've started having a swelling feeling under my belly button almost constantly but it's been much worse this week (I can't think of any reason why except I was on my period but the swelling is still as bad even now that it's over). I cried and ranted to my husband and the swelling reduced quite a bit. Then I had a skype appointment with one of the TMS therapists and the swelling reduced massively, like 99%. Last night I realised that I always tense that area (as well as pelvic floor, legs and knees) and I never feel swelling at night so it can't be anything physical. I felt so so much better and haven't had any swelling symptoms this whole time for the first time in ages! For the first time I started believing I'm getting so much better and everything can be put down to TMS.

But for the past few days I've been getting random unwanted arousal in my clit which seems to be triggered by wiping after peeing, thinking about it, or even thinking of any sexual it will come on so strong. It goes away when I relax my mind and body, have reassurance from someone and distraction. I never wake up with it, it could be gone for hours until I first pee. Anyway, I managed to calm myself down each time I felt it this morning and was feeling pretty ok. So I went in the car (as a passenger) to get some takeout and out of nowhere I had an orgasm in the vagina (without any muscle contractions which worries me it's not tms) and at the same time or maybe after a second of realisation, I also had a cold head rush which I always get with panic attacks. After the orgasm, my clit and whole front groin area felt badly aroused, heavy, throbbing and burning and had spikes of being on the verge of an orgasm. My vagina also felt like it was on the verge of another orgasm another 2 times but these feelings only lasted a second or 2. Since learning about PGAD, I've always been hesitant to go in a car because they can cause people with PGAD spontaneous orgasms from the bumps and vibration (I think) but usually I try not to give in to my fear and go for drives anyway. When I had this orgasm, there wasn't even any bumps and barely any vibration. I'm just so confused and terrified. I need reassurance so bad that this can happen by TMS because right now I fully believe the antidepressant withdrawal has caused this and I have no idea what to do.
Thanks to anyone who's read this, I hope someone can reply. I'm feeling very alone in this and these horrible feelings in my pelvic floor is making me suicidal.

 

[Time2be]

Scytaic, I don’t think this has anything to do with anti depressant withdrawal. This is just the hypersensitive you have there, which is TMS. I know that because I sometimes have the same sort of sensation which is a mixture of pain and arousal, though mine is most pain. Usually I have a lot of stress when I have these sensations (though never a spontaneous orgasm). My advice would be to focus on the emotional and psychological dimension. There must be s9mething that makes your nervous system go nuts and on overwork.

 

[Scytaic]

Scytaic, I don’t think this has anything to do with anti depressant withdrawal. This is just the hypersensitive you have there, which is TMS. I know that because I sometimes have the same sort of sensation which is a mixture of pain and arousal, though mine is most pain. Usually I have a lot of stress when I have these sensations (though never a spontaneous orgasm). My advice would be to focus on the emotional and psychological dimension. There must be s9mething that makes your nervous system go nuts and on overwork.

Thank you so much that reassured me a lot, I really needed that. I suppose it wasn't a genuine orgasm since I didn't have the muscle spasms or do anything to the rest of my body like blood rush/breathlessness etc. Maybe (hopefully) it was just a sensation that's just very similar.

I am stressed constantly about the withdrawal anxiety and symptons. And I guess a few things this week that's causing stress is my doctor is urging me to take a certain type of anti anxiety pill and I feel pressured because I'm going back on Monday so he can see how I felt on it. He's really nice and patient with me and I don't want him to be annoyed with me if I don't take them. If he gives up on me I wouldn't know where else to go because he helps me so much. But I have a really bad phobia of medication. I was stressed today about random things too and I was really stressed about getting food because I'm starting to get a phobia of most foods as well. Hopefully these are the causes.
Thank you again so much.

 

[Sofa]

Scy, hi there.
My own thoughts if I may.... Antidepressants DO indeed cause some weird symptoms both in onset and during withdrawal. Your doctor should not be annoyed with you for questioning whether something is right for you, in my opinion. You know yourself best.

From reading your posts, you definitely do seem to have the personality type matches up with TMS! (And TMS can be tackled and cured via the good advice on this forum!).

I'm glad you found this forum because we are not alone, and we are here for you too!

 

[Time2be]

You are most welcome! I don’t know whether you need the anxiety medicine or not. However, how about telling your doctor how you feel about it? That you rely upon him and you want to have his support, but that you rather would like not to take the anxiety medicine. Maybe you could have a plan how you tackle the anxiety without medication? Have you read or listen to Claire Weekes? There are a number of her talks on You tube. I find her soothing and very helpful!

 

[Scytaic]

Scy, hi there.
My own thoughts if I may.... Antidepressants DO indeed cause some weird symptoms both in onset and during withdrawal. Your doctor should not be annoyed with you for questioning whether something is right for you, in my opinion. You know yourself best.

From reading your posts, you definitely do seem to have the personality type matches up with TMS! (And TMS can be tackled and cured via the good advice on this forum!).

I'm glad you found this forum because we are not alone, and we are here for you too!

Thanks for taking the time to look through my other posts that's so kind of you! I don't know if he'd be annoyed, maybe just disappointed. Thank you so much again, I do really hope it's TMS. <3

You are most welcome! I don’t know whether you need the anxiety medicine or not. However, how about telling your doctor how you feel about it? That you rely upon him and you want to have his support, but that you rather would like not to take the anxiety medicine. Maybe you could have a plan how you tackle the anxiety without medication? Have you read or listen to Claire Weekes? There are a number of her talks on You tube. I find her soothing and very helpful!

He knows how I feel about it but I'll make sure to tell him I rely on his support, maybe he won't give up on me then lol. I'm getting a lot of help and some symptoms have improved massively especially in frequency, like I'm getting days and weeks without them which is really nice and some have gone completely. This is just something new that's popped up and I'm feelng worse this morning which is scaring me. My TMS therapist recommended that! I'll listen some time today, thanks!

 

[Dorado]

You absolutely experienced this symptom out of anxiety.

When I came off an antidepressant, I for whatever reason had out-of-whack hormones, to the point that it was quite distracting. It was weird. It's almost like my body was waking up after being numbed by the medication for months, especially since I wanted to sleep all the time while I was on it. But I was just grateful I didn't have the opposite problem that some people report (feeling totally numb), so I shrugged it off, did my best to be safe and respectful, and let my worries go. And you know what? It passed. Had I been more worried about it, I think it would've stuck around. So I know firsthand how withdrawal can affect hormones - it doesn't always suppress them! I tried researching this at the time, but couldn't find much because it seemed like everyone else was complaining about having zero desire for intimacy and wondering when it would return. (For what it's worth, I refuse to Google symptoms today.) I would never discount the link between medications, withdrawal, and sex hormones.

All that said and deeply understanding from personal experience how hormones go out of whack at times, I 100% believe you experienced the spontaneous orgasm because it's something you've been afraid of for some time, and then you read that something you were going through (withdrawal) can cause it. That totally gave your mind permission to experience what you fear. I think you're going to be OK! And even if it were truly from withdrawal and not stress (which I don't think is the case), you'd still be fine. I know I was. But this sounds much more like anxiety, especially given the sensitivity and privacy issues around something like an orgasm. Some people have dreams about forgetting to put their clothes on before leaving the house and exposing and embarrassing themselves. It's not that different at the end of the day.

For what it's worth: people heal from withdrawal (as I'm sure you know), but stress can slow your recovery time or make you think you haven't healed when you actually have. Stay off withdrawal forums and don't look up additional symptoms. I remember one of the few doctors who specializes in this area saying that patients going through antidepressant withdrawal sometimes report not recovering, even after their serotonin receptors fully heal (!!!). Their sympathetic nervous systems still appear to act erratically. This is literally the mind-body connection, also known as TMS on these forums, in a nutshell.

 

[Scytaic]

You absolutely experienced this symptom out of anxiety...

Thank you so much it's so good to hear from someone who's gone through the same experience! I'm confused because for me, my libido was either the same or a bit higher after coming off them but very quickly it's the opposite because of the Anxiety. I don't care at all about sex and yet whenever I think about it, physically the arousal shoots up too quick and easily. So mentally it's gone but physically it's too high to the point where (tmi) during sex I can't even think of anything sexual or I'd orgasm too quick, I just orgasm by the physical feeling alone now.

Did you feel the same? The arousal is distracting sometimes, usually gets better as the day goes on but I get a lot of burning and heaviness too. I have so many questions haha I hope you don't mind if I ask! Which ADs were you taking and for how long? And how long did you take to tapper those? And do you know how long the PGAD lasted? And did it get worse any time? My biggest fear is it getting worse and worse. I do definitely believe with almost every case of people withdrawing that the symptoms are magnified because of the anxiety about them. Like if someone had what you had and panicked and stressed about it and had a lot of tension because of it, it would have been a million times worse. It would turn into the worst version of PGAD. But there's others like you who don't worry and it doesn't become something bad and probably goes away a lot faster.

I have heard of people recovering but my anxiety is telling me I'm different because I was on Citalopram for longer and my symptoms are kind of different to everyone else's (in a good way but still). It is interesting that they don't recover even when their seretonin levels are normal, I used to assume it was nerve damage but hopefully it is just TMS!

 

[Dorado]

For me, the hormones were WAY over the top. I was all over the place at that time. My sleep wasn't great after coming off the medication, and I was frequently waking up in the middle of the night, which made it even more difficult to sleep (again, it's interesting because all I wanted to do on the medication was sleep). Now, I was on Cymbalta for about five months. I had to come off it with barely any tapering because it was discovered that I genetically couldn't process it. It made me very sick.

But I truly do think the reason you're having these symptoms is because you were already afraid of spontaneous orgasms, and knowing that withdrawal has caused it in other people prompted you to experience it. I'm only telling you about my withdrawal experience so you that even people whose hormones get messed up from withdrawal recover. What you're fearing isn't permanent.

It's funny because I read about someone claiming that antidepressant withdrawal gave them neuropathy. Their doctor said they'd never seen this happen before, but the doctor recognized the painful symptoms and diagnosed the neuropathy. That doctor should absolutely be ashamed of themselves. Nerve damage is caused by toxicity (e.g., crazy high blood sugar over time, binge drinking multiple times a week for decades, etc.) or the body attacking itself (autoimmunity). The lack of an antidepressant isn't toxic to your nerves. You just need to relax and allow your body to readjust! Withdrawal is not permanent, and the idea of permanent withdrawal is a myth. Your body knows how to readjust itself, but stress stimulates the nervous system and makes it difficult for your body to repair itself.

 

[Scytaic]

Thank you this all reassured me so much. It sounds absolutely horrible what you went through and I'm so happy it passed for you. I don't feel that bad thankfully, I am worse in the mornings though until evening where things are much better (although I'm perfectly fine when I first wake up strangely and I do sleep just fine - this was the same pattern as my psychosomatic PGAD too). I feel hopeful that at least the majority of what I'm feeling now is TMS (yesterday I felt awful but I went to this game group for the first time and after a while my symptoms disappeared!) I think the only thing I'm scared of now is it either getting worse before it gets better, or suddenly being hit with the real thing (like yours or worse) and it not healing for years and years (although I know if I try to stay calm it should help the recovery process).


The lack of an anti-depressant isn't toxic to your nerves
I never thought about it this way, and in that case if the nerves aren't even damaged then they have every chance to go back to normal. Thanks so much again for everything I've been feeling so alone in this it's scary! In fact you made me feel better enough to go to that game group yesterday, because before I read your comment I vowed to never even leave my bed again lol.

 

[Dorado]

It for sure passed! And my sex drive is 100% normal now - not too high, not too low. I really had to believe that it would eventually stop, and also to try to be as positive as possible about the situation (again, being grateful that I still had a sex drive!). I think it's important for people to know that your sex drive doesn't have to be ruined after antidepressants. Lots of us are OK!

I remember speaking to many people and doctors on this topic. There are people who healed after being on the highest doses possible of antidepressants for 20+ years, so don't be discouraged by healing stories from individuals who were on different medications or took them for shorter periods of time than you. Honestly, if you're able to go weeks without certain symptoms, that's a pretty big sign of your body being capable of working just fine.

I'm so glad you went to the game group! I'm not surprised that the symptoms relaxed when you let go and had fun. Antidepressants certainly alter the way the nervous system and the body work, but they cannot cause damage to you when you come off of them. Don't think too much into the science - remember the people who continued having symptoms, even after their serotonin receptors healed?

Your body will return to its normal state when it's balanced. But anxiety and constantly looking for withdrawal symptoms both interrupt that balance. Stress causes the body to go into sympathetic mode, and happy chemicals like serotonin take a back seat to cortisol and adrenaline when that happens. Also, for some people who are completely healed from withdrawal, it's possible for them to continue to experience symptoms out of nervousness and/or belief - it's not always even a sign of the body still balancing itself out. Either way, it's important to manage your stress and participate in things you love, and to remember that withdrawal is not permanent!

Here's what someone going through withdrawal said about working with a TMS doctor, Dr. Schubiner, to overcome some of the issues:

i went to see him after withdrawing from benzo, i had all kind of pain, and i was getting hypochondriac, googling every symptoms.

i didn't know it was withdrawal related!

his main message, live your life as if you don't have pain, journal and be aware of your emotions, don't focus on the pain, don't fear it.

it also works with withdrawal, i guess.

i don't google symptoms anymore.

It doesn't mean the withdrawal symptoms weren't valid - they definitely were. My initial withdrawal symptoms were valid, too. That said, the body restores itself, but our anxiety, belief, and focus on the symptoms sometimes keep them around.

 

[Scytaic]

Do you remember how long it took to pass? Mine is a lot better today but now I have a new symptom haha, it's numbness and a crawling feeling which goes down to my leg from my pudendal nerve branches in my inner butt cheek on the left side (If that makes any sense lol). If I poke it hard enough it stings like pins and needles. It seems like TMS trying something new but I'm still worried because I've heard people in withdrawals getting this just before they get very bad PGAD and this symptom has been going on ALL day. I hope it's just TMS and my muscles recovering from all the tension from yesterday.

Ah it's good to hear of people who heal even from long term antidepressants... 20+ years too wow, makes my 4 years seem like nothing! And thank you! Belief is definitely a huge factor in TMS, I know that from experience too. You've given me hope and belief that I'm ok and even when I'm not, that I will be ok. I'll try my best to not fear it and live my life. I've been journaling since September and have debunked a few symptoms as TMS already which is awesome lol.

 

[Time2be]

Maybe I am wrong about withdrawal, it might have an effect on hormones and sex-drive (it definitely has the effect of less sex-drive, I never heard of the opposite). The sensations I have in the vulva, urethra and clitoris feel like arousal, it arousal totally over the top. It feels like pain. I also have bladder pain together with these sensations. And it all stems from a overheated nervous system. So, withdrawal might play a role, but the main mechanism is emotional and psychological. And unless this stays unaddressed you will have pain of some sort or the other. That’s my experience. You are in the process already, journaling etc. Thats’s a good path you took!

 

[Scytaic]

When did you start getting these? Today mine has become painful, I'm getting cold flashes, burning and an oversensitive feeling sort of like a toothache and rawness. As well as random bouts of horrible arousal in the clit which sitting, stress and even small pressure and tension makes worse. Peeing always triggers it as well as muscle spasms - sometimes painful ones, other times just weird fullness feelings. My bladder feels ok but I have a swelling feeling in the lower bladder which feels like it puts pressure on my clit. When I press into my vagina even lightly, I can feel fullness in the bladder even after just peeing. The anxiety and stress it's all causing is making me tense which is causing a lot more pain and aches. Paracetamol helped a bit, enough to walk without feeling my hypersensitive clit constantly. I felt a lot better yesterday and even rested a lot to make sure it completely healed but today is horrible. I'm so confused and depressed. I think the main problem for me is definitely that my clit is so hypersensitive even to the lightest touch and every small movement sets it off and then the anxiety causes the arousal or at least makes it 100x worse, and also the small swelling feeling under my bladder/pubic bone. If they would go away I wouldn't care about the rest. Thank you btw, sorry for the long negative reply!

 

[Dorado]

I can't speak to those symptoms. Looking at Time2Be's post, that's what I was saying earlier - antidepressants are usually associated with a lowered sex drive (which is why I was grateful to at least have a sex drive). I think coming off of them made me sort of manic for a little bit there (I'm not bipolar), and my sleep and sex hormones were left out of whack. I know neurotransmitters can affect those things. It was very, very weird.

Scytaic, I do think you should be careful with focusing too much on withdrawal. How supportive is your doctor in easing your concerns?

 

[Scytaic]

Ah I see And yeah I should, I wish I never went on the antidepressant withdrawal forums because it's just messed my head up. My doctor is really supportive and does agree they can cause symptoms like that because they're stimulants and effect your hormones. I guess because all I ever see is there's no cure or barely any working treatment for it, not even the doctor can really reassure me because what can he do anyway kind of thing. It's a long way away but I think by 2020 if I'm no worse or if I'm better, I'll be fully reassured they can't effect me anymore. In the meantime I'm doing everything I can to help my anxiety and help with the TMS side of it.

 

[Dorado]

I don't mean that to discourage you! I just mean that yeah, people usually associate antidepressants with a significantly lowered sex drive. I agree that what I experienced certainly isn't the most common experience. However, messing with neurotransmitters affects us all in different ways, and coming off the medication for me made me very sexual in an almost manic way for a bit (I wasn't truly manic or out of touch with reality). My stomach felt pretty inflamed for a little while, but I can't say I had any genital issues specific to withdrawal (those are the symptoms I can't speak to). We all readjust differently and have different chemistries, so that's OK! It doesn't mean an increased sex drive is impossible.

Yeah, don't read those forums. It's the same with chronic Lyme disease, which is nothing more than mind-body syndrome. Tons of people get better after antidepressants. I came off Zoloft twice - once after a two week taper because I didn't know any better. I had withdrawal for only a week and a half. Some people take longer to adjust depending on how the body was affected by the medication, but it's not permanent. It's important to not let that get to you.

For what it's worth, I have talked about genital pain and weird discharge in my posts before, including my success story. It wasn't associated with withdrawal for me. However, it was definitely a mind-body thing. It started my first year of college when I was very stressed out. I had no real sexual experience yet and it definitely wasn't an STD, and no doctors could find any sign of infection.

I think the best thing you can do is remember that people heal every single day, and withdrawal cannot permanently hurt you. It goes away UNLESS there's an emotional process keeping it around. People take different lengths of time to heal, but if you're hung up on the symptoms and constantly monitoring them, you may not see too much improvement. That's when it becomes a "TMS" issue. You're going to be OK! I suspect that much of what you're going through is from watching for the symptoms and worrying about them.

 

[Scytaic]

Don't worry I know, I just felt bad that you had to go through that but I'm so happy that you're better from it now. And oh I see what you mean now, so your sex-drive was high in your mind too, not just physically? I've heard of a few people being the same, having a high sex-drive both physically and mentally and they're completely fine and happy with it even though it can be over the top. I wonder what circumstances cause just the physical arousal without the mental arousal for other people (or for the physical to be more than the mental). Especially because it's also a lot worse for them because they also get pain most of the time and no relief after orgasming. Makes me wonder if these people actually had a very bad reaction from the drugs without realising and so it caused a way too extreme and painful form of a high physical sex-drive. If that makes any sense, I'm starting to think pretty deep into this now lol. And oh I would love to read it if it's still up?

I wrote this on the antidepressant forum, I wanted to make it short so I've missed a ton of details but these were my success stories:
"When I tapered from 30mg to 0mg in just a week, I began to get a HUGE fear of PGAD (I didn't know it was a withdrawal effect of Ad's at the time). So much that i began to get extremely real feeling symptoms of it. The more I read, the more symptoms I got and sometimes I would get symptoms I hadn't read about until I got them which was even scarier. I had tons of scans and specialists and doctor visits until I finally (after about 7 months) convinced myself that I didn't actually have it - it was all psychosomatic. It took about 3 months of double checking/rebound worries etc but it finally went away completely!

When I upped my dose I then convinced myself that I had it again. This time was so much worse and I was convinced it was real this time, I had to stay in bed almost every day because of how bad it felt! I had it almost 24/7 and it went on for a year, then one day, I had it very badly as usual, but something snapped me out of it (my boyfriend proposed to me !) The symptoms just vanished instantly.. looking back that day, I managed to convince myself even more that these symptoms were psychosomatic too and they never came back since! This has happened to me 2 more times but they've gone away a lot quicker now so I guess my anxiety was getting better!"

This was just before I came off my antidepressant again lol. They were very typical TMS, went away when distracted or with reassurance, came back or got worse with anxiety or after Googling. I could do certain things and it wouldn't trigger the symptoms but if I did the same thing and believed it would trigger them, they would come on. They were annoying but at least half the time I sort of knew they were psychosomatic/TMS. This time just feels completely different. I think that's the hardest part really, when you've been through TMS before and then go through it again, it'll always be more real and the patterns and everything completely change to go against what reassured you the last times. Kind of like that monster in that one game/TV show (I completely forgot now) where it learns from what beat it last time and then evolves to counteract it. Or like a bacteria... Our brains are viruses! lol
Also I just realised, I should probably write up a more detailed version of my success stories for this website! I think a PGAD success story is definitely needed on the internet!
(Edit: Eh, I can't find where to write a success story lol)

 

[Dorado]

I once read about people feeling frisky when they come down with colds or flus, ha.

I really think that the combination of not viewing the out-of-whack hormones as a scary or permanent thing helped. I do strongly believe that not becoming obsessed with the symptoms is critical. I viewed my situation as a sign that my body was reawakening, and that was very powerful to me.

It's not 100% the same as what you're describing, but sex hormones can affected by changes neurotransmitters and the body readjusting itself.

Honestly, it really does sound to me like you're OK, but you're so aware of withdrawal horror stories and so focused on your symptoms that you aren't allowing your body to balance itself and relax. Go out with the gaming group and have some fun! Dr. Schubiner himself has stated that many of the people on these withdrawal forums are confusing long-term withdrawal symptoms that never healed with TMS symptoms. Mood swings, brain zaps, nausea, headaches, etc. - even people who haven't taken antidepressants can experience those symptoms from anxiety alone. Again, it doesn't mean that the withdrawal symptoms aren't valid, but the body heals. And when it doesn't, it's important to work on the emotional process keeping the symptoms around.

Also, I totally wasn't kidding about people feeling frisky when they're sick: http://www.ladbible.com/community/i...ure-sick-its-your-body-fighting-back-20180418

 

[Scytaic]

Ha it sounds weird but I wish I was mentally as horny because maybe then it wouldn't feel so unwanted and intrusive (I mean I can deal with the pain, just not the arousal). Sounds like you dealt with it perfectly (being safe and seeing it as a positive experience) I'm married thankfully so I always have my husband if it becomes too much but this week after getting these new symptoms, I've been way too scared to try sex/masturbating/anything. I'm so grateful to my husband who already knew about my fears before we got married and knows there's always a high chance of no more sex. He's amazing though, still loves me and still wanted to marry me and said he wants to be with me for me not the sex. Ahh I love him so much. <3

And thank you that whole last paragraph just gave me the reassurance I need just now to get ready for the doctors today. Ah I still get those head zaps lately but it only happens when I have a cold in the night since withdrawing. And lol that article! I might look out for that next time I'm ill haha!