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Severe Hip issue (with MRI done)

sdiddy

sdiddy

Peer Supporter
Hey al - so starting about a year or two ago I started noticing increasingly painful hip pain and tightness in the hip flexor and even shooting down the IT bands. It began to get worse and tighter to the point where I couldnt ignore it any longer and got an MRI a couple months ago.

The results were terrifying. At 44 years old they told me I had severe arthritis (degeneration of cartilage) as well as bursitis on both sides. Obviously they brought up surgery or even hip replacement which is insane for a 44 year old. Im scared to be honest.

I ended up having a cortisone shot because the pain was so bad I couldnt even sleep and that did help a lot (took my pain from a 9 to a 5). I am actively stretching every morning for 6 months and lying off high impact exercise which they told me to do. The pain hasnt gotten worse but not better either. When I squat or bend my legs I immediately get a sharp inching pain.

Couple things I will mention:

1. I have struggled with TMS for 20+ years, mostly in my lower back after I herniated a couple discs, but also have had chest and arm pain.

2. I wouldnt say I'm under more stress than normal, in fact I have had some wonderful things go my way recently career wise, but I still do have a lot of overall stress (going through the financial aspect of a divorce for one), but also just the fear of not being able to run, exercise, jump, have sex, is causing me even more worry.

3. Since I got divorced 5 years ago I have had a LOT of sex. I went from no sex while married to having sex 3-5 times a night, 3-4 times a week, for 5 straight years. So it could certainly be argued that I have really fucked (literally) my hips up.

I dont know what to do here I am really scared right now. The MRI shows concerning things, but what's a bit strange is that the pain started getting much worse after me and my last GF broke up (very mature and stress-free breakup, not something that caused me mental anguish). So I just dont understand what is going on but now the doc is talking about PRP, stem cell injections, hip replacement. Im freaked out.

Anyone have similar experience?
 
I can't say I've had hip pain at that level, but that's probably because I'm pretty good at halting the pain from getting worse. I'm somewhat of a TMS veteran... healed from some pretty bad things over the years. About 2 yrs ago, I started feeling some hip pain that was getting worse slowly over time. I didn't fret over it, applied some tried and true things that work for me and today hardly even notice anything at all. I'm 54 yrs old and am very active.

Fear is not your friend.... my quick two cents for you is to work on developing feelings of safety even in the midst of the pain. Somatic tracking works for me. So does imaging (i.e. imagining myself well and pain free) and meditation (i.e. relaxation response).

PS. I doubt that too much sex is your problem... at least the problem of hip pain :)
 
Friend I feel you. When I was 24 a doctor told me in no uncertain terms I was going to have arthritis in the hip in injured in a dance class and I remember being outraged. When we're afraid the fastest way to get relief is to focus on a smooth even breath in and out through your nose. Your comments about your sexuality sound as if you are punishing yourself. I'm a yogini and a dancer, and I understand how scary hip pain can be. You did such a good thing in reaching our for support.

Remember, your hips can be all kinds of screwed up and never cause you pain. Even if your current divorce isn't stressing you, it could trigger emotions from other relationships. There are many emotions that we experience as unpleasant and all of them need to be processed. I recommend you go to the PPDA website or Youtube and watch the video about Jessica who was a dancer and had serious hip issues. Start there and pl
 
I stand with you sdidy. I havent been to this site in 9 years and I’m back due to “chronic hip flexor tendonitis”. I never thought it could be TMS for reasons I wont get into here, but like you I have dealt with TMS for decades, including some I didn’t know about TMS and just suffered with one thing after another.

One of my closest friends said a few weeks ago “Have you done your Mind Body work? Just saying. :)”. I rejected it at first. But then I started going through the history of it which goes back 3 years now, early in the Covid era (mmm?.) I started reading the original TMS bible “Healing Back Pain” and there were all the words again, about my personality (yes to all), about the diagnosis (a mild bursitis, mild this, chronic that, no major structural issues, the treatments (yes to all) and it struck me. I’m a healthy 55 year old, who works out and has a regular meditation practice. I have also been been trying to get in touch with deep anger about my family life I know is there.

Our minds are capable of not only repressing difficult/scary emotions and then repressing them with TMS. They are capable of creating powerful stories about how well we are handling, or not experiencing those emotions at all. I’m starting so see how those stories could be a first line of defense that keep me from experiencing those emotions which would then unlock the TMS.

All the Mind Body MDs, including Dr. Sarno, said first make sure you don't have a real physical problem that would be the cause of your pain. You’ve got a diagnosis from an MD who I assume doesn’t know about or believe in the power of TMS. Could you share your images with an MD who does? That was key to me fully recovering from my back pain.

I’m not saying you do or dont have TMS but is it possible you aren’t quite as sanguine about the divorce and break up as you think you are? TMS recovery requires us to be strong in two ways: dealing with the physical pain and accepting that we all have emotions that we are conditioned to think are bad, wrong, make us weak, etc. when what those emotions really make us is human.

PS. I used to use sex to hide from difficult emotions. Not saying you do or should stop by any means, but it definitely can be used as a coping mechanism for all kind of stuff.
 
Just picking up this conversation. Ive still being dealing with the hip pain on both sides. I have started seeing a dr in LA that knows sarnos work well and has been trying to help. He had me start seeing a sports massage guy as well that seems to be helping a little bit (maybe 10-20%). But the pain is still there. I am going through an unbelivably difficult time, financial aspects of a divorce and im in love with my ex GF who is dating another man, and my daily throbbing shooting pinching pain isnt helping. I havent slept well in i Dont know how long and I am tormented with the the thought of never being able to run again all day. I cant even sit or lay without pain. The right side stating doing this burning shooting flare pain in the last week that is new as well.

The hard part is that MDs HAVENT ruled out a physical problem and have said they see early arthritis and bursitis (im only 44). So thats the part that is killing me. This fear that I will have to have a major invasive surgery (or two). Im scared and not sure what to do. I do see a therapist weekly as well, I do journal and have started meditating.

But please give specific advice on what else I should do? I havent done the "TMS work" some people mentioned and not even sure what exactly that means?
 
Guys it's been my experience humans can use anything to keep from dealing with their emotions and feelings: shopping, food, exercise, sex, work (my personal favorite), being busy (my #2), and just about anything else. We just need good tools that resolve emotions, not just stir them up. If you are a chronic pain person you have a sensitive nervous system and will benefit from anything that reduces stress and increases the relaxation response. One of the ways we keep ourselves stressed is by creating stories in our heads where we don't win. We sensitive souls often make up stories where we are not good enough, dumb, lazy, mean and more, basically what I call a story where we lose.
 
Friend based on the extra details you've provided it seems clear that there are a number of undealt with emotional issues, related to the divorce, being in love with the ex GF and these are doubtfully the actual roots of the problems. The most most obvious next step here is to find a therapist who can help you get real with your emotions and move through them. The core of the TMS work is dealing with unresolved trauma most of which starts in childhood. Friend you say you've never done the TMS work, well that really is a great place to start. When we get ourselves in this kind of pickle getting out is an inside job. You simply must do the emotional work, not pill, surgery or treatment will do it. That is, if what you are dealing with is truly TMS. You asked for specifics and this is as direct as I can state it. I wish you the best.
 
If I was you I would contact to the Pain Psychology Center in LA and work with a therapist. You can go to the TMS Wiki site do the Structured Education Program and the Pain Recovery Program. Read any/all of Dr Sarno's books. Go to Dr Howard Schubiner's website www.Unlearnyourpain.com. Get his book/workbook and use the other resources there. Read The Great Pain Deception by Steve Ozanich. Pick one or two of these and finish them before moving on. Don't give up! Be patient. Be persistent. Be gentle with yourself but be determined. Everyone's journey, key or combination of keys to eventual recovery/mastery of TMS, and timelines are different. Don't let the true stories of folks who read one book and are pain free get you down. There are lots of programs but in the end most of us on this site have to wander the world of TMS approaches to find the what works for us. You are not alone. I'm in the midst of the journey myself. Just start and keep going until you get there.
 
David that was such a lovely response. I assume most of us here have dealt with TMS. My journey with a debilitating hip injury was no joke and I like many here had to piece together the right combination of solutions for myself. All this to let you know healing is possible and they journey can be as amazing as the outcome. You can take charge of your health, you can find more comfort joy and ease. I've done it and I'm nothing special, it just takes commitment and self love. Never ever give up on what I think is our birthright, to be happy and healthy in our own body. Know that lots of folks here are sending you their best, those of us who've won the pain game are rooting for you. Be kind, be brave and be your own best friend.
 
Please don’t focus on trying to either figure out if your pain is exactly the same as someone else’s, or dive too much into their symptoms.
TMS is tms no matter where it is in the body or mind: it is back pain, a sore toe, anxiety, a migraine, IBS.. it is all the same thing: a distraction from your emotions and your life. There is no specific “cure” for each symptom: it’s all treated the same -the personalization is simply what works best for you. Follow what these kind folks are leading you to, @David B is right on. @Sharada Devi has given you an excellent example of a healing mindset.
 
I was just diagnosed with FAI hip impingement and panicking since I cant practice my sports... Right hip pain is killing me meh. reading this somehow helped me this morning. I am contemplating surgery but wonder whether i should give this approach a try first.
 
I agree that trying to find a "match" is not the best use of your time. I'm not judging, because I am very much wired to look for patterns. I work in contract law, so I am keen on words, meaning and clarity. In dealing with TMS, I have discovered that if I EVER start to search for a "mirror" to any situation, I'm heading down a dark path. It has become a useful way to know I am dipping into TMS status and need to address my stress, etc. I would guess that your determination to find a match is yet another distraction. Get your Sarno books, get into your solutions*, and get about living your life. You're fine.

*Mine are: journaling (sometimes verbal only, sometimes written), reading the 12 reminders, humor, gratitude, minding my nutrition and fitness from a place of love vs fear, etc. and PODCASTS. I bolster myself with lots of audio. My imagination is WILD, so I can't really let my mind have too much "alone time", or next-thing-you-know, I've diagnosed myself with something horrid and feeling compelled to order supplements and hide from the world.
 
CaptivaLady said:
I agree that trying to find a "match" is not the best use of your time. I'm not judging, because I am very much wired to look for patterns. I work in contract law, so I am keen on words, meaning and clarity. In dealing with TMS, I have discovered that if I EVER start to search for a "mirror" to any situation, I'm heading down a dark path. It has become a useful way to know I am dipping into TMS status and need to address my stress, etc. I would guess that your determination to find a match is yet another distraction. Get your Sarno books, get into your solutions*, and get about living your life. You're fine.

*Mine are: journaling (sometimes verbal only, sometimes written), reading the 12 reminders, humor, gratitude, minding my nutrition and fitness from a place of love vs fear, etc. and PODCASTS. I bolster myself with lots of audio. My imagination is WILD, so I can't really let my mind have too much "alone time", or next-thing-you-know, I've diagnosed myself with something horrid and feeling compelled to order supplements and hide from the world.
Click to expand...

Omg i am also an attorney and very intense with words. Your reply feels like I'm the one who wrote it... lol
 
CaptivaLady said:
I agree that trying to find a "match" is not the best use of your time. I'm not judging, because I am very much wired to look for patterns. I work in contract law, so I am keen on words, meaning and clarity. In dealing with TMS, I have discovered that if I EVER start to search for a "mirror" to any situation, I'm heading down a dark path. It has become a useful way to know I am dipping into TMS status and need to address my stress, etc. I would guess that your determination to find a match is yet another distraction. Get your Sarno books, get into your solutions*, and get about living your life. You're fine.

*Mine are: journaling (sometimes verbal only, sometimes written), reading the 12 reminders, humor, gratitude, minding my nutrition and fitness from a place of love vs fear, etc. and PODCASTS. I bolster myself with lots of audio. My imagination is WILD, so I can't really let my mind have too much "alone time", or next-thing-you-know, I've diagnosed myself with something horrid and feeling compelled to order supplements and hide from the world.
Click to expand...

Whatare the 12 reminders?
 
  1. The pain is due to TMS, not to a structural abnormality

  2. The direct reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation

  3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my repressed emotions

  4. The principal emotion is my repressed ANGER

  5. TMS exists only to distract my attentions from the emotions

  6. Since my back (replace with whatever pain you’ve got) is basically normal there is nothing to fear

  7. Therefore, physical activity is not dangerous

  8. And I MUST resume all normal physical activity

  9. I will not be concerned or intimidated by the pain

  10. I will shift my attention from pain to the emotional issues

  11. I intend to be in control-NOT my subconscious mind

  12. I must think Psychological at all times, NOT physical.
 
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