Severe depression and anxiety - PLEASE HELP!

[Davideus85]

I've been experiencing the most severe anxiety I've ever experienced in the last week due to really big life stressors going on (Death in the family). It got so bad, I haven't been able to eat much, been having gut issues, losing weight rapidly, my stomach constantly feeling sick, panicking, insomnia, and unable to sit and enjoy anything. It is horrible horrible anxiety. It's so bad I've been having to take high doses of benzodiazpines just to get the anxiety under control. Today I read through Claire Weekes' "Hope and Help for your Nerves" and I was able to eliminate the anxiety/panic almost COMPLETELY by using her method of floating past the anxious feelings and thoughts. This might sound bizarre but I could literally feel all the anxiety/panic energy redistribute throughout my body. My body felt incredibly drained, weak, and exhausted. Not long after, all that energy just went right up into my head where it is right now in the form of extremely severe depression!!! I feel completely trapped. I've even considered go to the ER room. It's like no matter what I do, I'm going to be suffering something horrible. I can have depression or anxiety but I can't end both. Best I can describe it is it feels like a dark cloud from hell hanging over me. I can't feel an ounce of peace. ? Why is this happening now??? I've been sitting here crying harder than I ever have before because it's so stressful and I'm having such strong thoughts that this is NEVER going to go away and I won't be able to bear it. My sadness seems to focus back and forth between my life stressors and the depression itself. All I know to do is to desperately try to research posts on TMS depression but nothing helps. What do I do???

 

[Marls]

Hi David, I'm not a therapist of any kind, I'm a TMSer just like you. I'm guessing a good few on this forum could have written your post and most probably have. It seems a dark old place, but trust me there is always a soft light to guide you. Try listening to Claire Weekes on youtube, the hour long ones like this one Dr Claire Weekes - Recovering from Excessive Anxiety (part 1). Not for the information, you've most probably read as much as you need, but for her calming voice, her caring attitude and the way she downplays the confusion of depression and anxiety. She said once something along the lines of "It's just a thought from a tired brain" and I have this on a card in my wallet. The more you feed (ruminate on) the monster, the bigger it looks, not gets, but looks, but it really is just a thought and it is not who you really are. Scary as hell I know, I really know, but nevertheless just a scary THOUGHT. I bet you are actually a wonderful young man with a wonderful life ahead of you; this is just a stop along the way.
My go to practice was imagining being on a train. Some stops exciting, some really shitty, so I would see myself jumping on the next train outa here. Try not to think of Life Stressors, more like just hiccups, or bothersome events, bad stops, anything a little lighter than distressing words, words which can frighten your nervous system.
I'm rambling, but letting you a lot of people care on this site. cheers, marls

 

[Ellen]

I just listened to this podcast by Ezra Klein on Anxiety, and found it very useful:

https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aH...EwjA6-uJ-5HwAhVDa80KHQxjAcQQieUEegQIERAF&ep=6

 

[mbo]

hi, Davideus85 !

please have a serious look at the book UNLEARN YOUR ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

https://www.unlearnyourpain.com/Unlearn Your Anxiety Depression

and/or try to contact dr. Howard Schubiner

https://www.unlearnyourpain.com/ (home)

 

[TrustIt]

Some good advice from those above. And may I add, there is a LOT of anxiety and depression in the collective right now and we can not escape it individually. Check in with your higher self and you may be able to feel what part of it is yours and what isn't. These times are much tougher on us than we know. Depression and anxiety is rampant. As is pain of all sorts. Just relax and say to yourself I'm feeling overwhelmed right now but this is not all mine. I'm safe. And send kind and loving thoughts to your body for all the good things it does that you are not conscious of.