Self soothe or lean into the feeling?

[SRcombs]

Ok, so one part of Alan's program talks about self soothing and teaching your body that it's safe in spite of what you're feeling and another part talks about leaning into your feelings. So here's my question. When do you do which? I deal with a lot of fear. Like this morning I woke up with my mind just running with the "what ifs" and it was definately showing up as sensations in my body. Tightness in my back, accelerated heart rate etc. I couldn't decide if I should try to tell myself I was safe or if I should lean into the fear and anxiety. I tried both, but the feelings and bodily sensations haven't gone away. So I'm sitting here wondering if I should have just focused on one or the other. Ideas?

Thanks.

 

[plum]

Ok, so one part of Alan's program talks about self soothing and teaching your body that it's safe in spite of what you're feeling and another part talks about leaning into your feelings. So here's my question. When do you do which? I deal with a lot of fear. Like this morning I woke up with my mind just running with the "what ifs" and it was definately showing up as sensations in my body. Tightness in my back, accelerated heart rate etc. I couldn't decide if I should try to tell myself I was safe or if I should lean into the fear and anxiety. I tried both, but the feelings and bodily sensations haven't gone away. So I'm sitting here wondering if I should have just focused on one or the other. Ideas?

Thanks.

Somatic Tracking (leaning into or simply watching, observing your bodily sensations) is meant to be done with Cognitive Soothing (saying soothing things to yourself). You do both together in order to recondition your self into knowing that there is nothing wrong with your body and that you are safe and ok.

It’s not the case that you are trying to convince yourself that you’re safe but much more about learning how to actually calm yourself down instead of collapsing into fearful thoughts and panic. You’ll need to play around with different phrases to find what works best for you. Oftentimes simple is best.

“I’m ok”
“This will pass”
“Breath”

These are enough.

This isn’t a one-time event. It’s a skill that you have to practice time and again until it becomes natural. You really need to be patient and give yourself the time it takes it learn this.

Plum x

 

[MrSurvivor]

I can relate to this. I'm just starting out but I feel like I'm digging up stuff, but recovering from it is another thing. Do you dig hard and then try to figure out how to be kind to yourself? How do you do that? Whew, I think not being kind to myself might be the original issue!

 

[tyczka73]

Hi. I started to digging into my feelings, strong anger, this decreased pain but fear and anxiety is so strong in me, I cannot concentrate on anything .,I start to consider it is a right way, maybe it’s only perpetuating fight/ flight syndrome I live all my live. I made work before and therapy and I don’t know what’s the point. Is it realising or I bring me to the trauma on and on again. I feel really bad psychologically right now and I don’t know if I should continue with my strong anger witch I know that I suppress and maybe this anger is producing of fear cycle and fear state of my mind and resolution is not free anger because it is help in short term and I make it through my life but to heal from feed which causes a lot of anger and recover from all this trauma - relating syndrome in my life.

 

[Zuz]

Hi. I started to digging into my feelings, strong anger, this decreased pain but fear and anxiety is so strong in me, I cannot concentrate on anything .,I start to consider it is a right way, maybe it’s only perpetuating fight/ flight syndrome I live all my live. I made work before and therapy and I don’t know what’s the point. Is it realising or I bring me to the trauma on and on again. I feel really bad psychologically right now and I don’t know if I should continue with my strong anger witch I know that I suppress and maybe this anger is producing of fear cycle and fear state of my mind and resolution is not free anger because it is help in short term and I make it through my life but to heal from feed which causes a lot of anger and recover from all this trauma - relating syndrome in my life.

I would go deal with the anger. I think I read many times it’s often the worst factor.
There is somewhere an article and a podcast about anger, with Allan talking a man into the rage he feels for his baby and his mom.
Would anyone know where it is? It was somewhere here...

 

[nezz]

I would go deal with the anger. I think I read many times it’s often the worst factor.
There is somewhere an article and a podcast about anger, with Allan talking a man into the rage he feels for his baby and his mom.
Would anyone know where it is? It was somewhere here...

Hey, I was just listening to it and then read this post...so here it is!

https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program#Anger (TMS Recovery Program)

A very intense session, but it makes sense how it works.