Really struggling, urinary urgency

L

Leslie735

Well known member
I've been following the TMS structural program and am on day 15. I haven't done it everyday but have completed 14 days of it total. It's helped me realize some things that are bothering me in my life, for sure. Anyway, my main issue is urinary urgency. I can have a week where I feel 100% normal, no issues at all and I think to myself "YAY it's going away, finally!" Then I'll have a few days where it comes and goes. It all began back in December for me out of the blue. I have a history of UTI's since my early 20's, I'm 29 now. Basically, I can be feeling just fine, go use the restroom and come out with the feeling of needing to go again, the feeling, to me, feels like it's my urethra and not my actual bladder. It can be very mild or a little more than that. Sometimes it feels like if I could just squeeze out one more drop the feeling would go away. Usually, the feeling will start to pass in about 10 minutes to an hour or if it's at night, I fall asleep and wake up feeling back to normal. Like I said, this can happen everyday for 3-4 days, every other day, every 5 days etc. I've gone a week and 1/2 without it happening at all. The last few days have been bad days, I've been having symptoms on and off, and I've also noticed my anxiety is up as well. I'm in the middle of finals with school and for some reason my fear of IC is present. That is my biggest fear is interstitial cystitis. Ever since this all came about in December that has been my fear. It's on my mind pretty much 24/7. Sometimes I can distract myself from the thoughts and from my problem and not notice any of it but it's not often. I'll have weeks where I feel fantastic, not focus on it, carry on with life, and not think about it much then I have days like the last few where I'm dwelling on it, can't do anything else but google IC stuff and worry. I've always been a "worrier" I over analyze just about everything, especially my health. I've always had health anxiety. I've worried about heart attacks, cancers etc. This is probably the most I've worried though, don't think I've ever been so scared over something in my life. I also think I'm OCD. I've worked on that and it's better than it use to be but basically I can be walking down the street and I'll see a stick on the ground and I'll say to myself "if you don't go right of that stick, your symptoms will get worse." I feel so dumb admitting that but it's true. I do that often. I've been trying to fight that and not give in to it. I've never been officially diganoised with TMS, I just stumbled across it about a month ago and decided to give it a try. I have seen a OB/GYN and a urogynecologist about all of this. My OB did a yearly pap test and a vaginal ultrasound, came back normal. The urgogynecologist did a pelvic exam and took urine and did an in office dip test and said it was normal. I told her my fears of IC and she shook her head no at me and said "You don't have that" "You don't want that diagnosis." She told me to come back in a month if my symptoms persisted. That was at the end of February and I haven't gone back. Mainly because I'm scared of having the tests and worst, the results. I think she felt this wasn't anything though or she would've suggested the tests. The office came highly recommended and they seemed to know what they were doing. Anyway, sorry to ramble, I'm just so lost and lonely and terrified. Can anyone give me some advice? Does this sound like TMS, something physical, both? I don't know.
 
Oh, Leslie, gentle hugs to you! Your story sounds like it came out of one of Dr. Sarno's books. The fear…the anxiety…the on and off again nature of the symptoms…school stress…and so on.

The fertilizer for TMS is FEAR. Try a little test for a few weeks. Quit looking up IC or ANY of your physical symptoms and immerse yourself in TMS knowledge. You've already gotten a clean bill of health from your docs so you are good to go!

Take a deep breath. You're OKAY! And go have some fun too. :) Please keep us posted on your progress.

PS I met with a dear friend of mine today. Her biggest TMS symptom was urgency and stress incontinence. She thought she was destined to a life of wearing adult diapers or pads at the minimum. I mean, isn't that what all the ads tell woman when they get older? (My friend is in her early 50s so a bit older than you.) That was before TMS knowledge. I asked her how she was doing today and she said she is 90% better.

Be sure to look up bladder symptoms under the TMS success stories. And just think…as you pursue your TMS healing, your story could be next! :)
 
North Star said:
Oh, Leslie, gentle hugs to you! Your story sounds like it came out of one of Dr. Sarno's books. The fear…the anxiety…the on and off again nature of the symptoms…school stress…and so on.

The fertilizer for TMS is FEAR. Try a little test for a few weeks. Quit looking up IC or ANY of your physical symptoms and immerse yourself in TMS knowledge. You've already gotten a clean bill of health from your docs so you are good to go!

Take a deep breath. You're OKAY! And go have some fun too. :) Please keep us posted on your progress.

PS I met with a dear friend of mine today. Her biggest TMS symptom was urgency and stress incontinence. She thought she was destined to a life of wearing adult diapers or pads at the minimum. I mean, isn't that what all the ads tell woman when they get older? (My friend is in her early 50s so a bit older than you.) That was before TMS knowledge. I asked her how she was doing today and she said she is 90% better.

Be sure to look up bladder symptoms under the TMS success stories. And just think…as you pursue your TMS healing, your story could be next! :)
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Thank you SOOO much for your reply, it makes me feel better knowing I have support from people who understand how I feel.

Thank you for the reminder, I need to stay off "Dr. Google." I vowed to myself just now I will not google anything bladder related (unless it has to do with TMS) for the next 2 weeks. I also need to keep up with my journaling

I'm so pleased to hear your friend is doing better. Do you happen to know how long it took her to get there? Other than doing the structural program, do you have any suggestions what else I could be doing?
 
Leslie735, my friend had a SIGNIFICANT reduction in her bladder issues within a few weeks. She was amazed at how quickly she progressed. She has some other TMS symptoms that have been a bit more stubborn but she is GREATLY encouraged that she will beat TMS.

Dr. Google…haha, that's what I call it too. My nursing background is not helpful more often than not too. (It's been years since I was a nurse but I still know just enough to scare the bejeepers out of myself.) Just today I had to tell myself that I would quick looking up health issues relating to menopause (which I have been going through.) My knee jerk reaction to every hot flash or twinge is to leap to fearful, wild imaginations. Sometimes I actually yell at myself to "KNOCK IT OFF!!!":sour::eek:

When I get really hyper vigilant I can turn the most innocuous twinge into a fatal event. LOL

Claire Weeks' Hope and Health for Your Nerves (I think that's the title) has been very helpful to me. I am realizing how revved up my nervous system is and listening to her voice ont his short audiobook has been very helpful to me. :)
 
Leslie735 North Stars advice is priceless, I'd like to add Claire Weekes Audios here for you to listen to so it will help you. The more you focus on the negative in fear and look for symptoms then the more you are going to hurt so I hope you find Claire's advice helpful, bless you.
These audio recordings of Claire Weekes have gotten me through a lot


Part 1

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

Part 2

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

Part 3

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

Part 4

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3
 
Thank you both so very much for your replies! I'm trying to stay positive and focus on the happy things in my life. I need to let go of the thought of, if I actually let myself forget about this whole mess for a minute that its ok. For some reason, in my mind, I think if I forget about it for a little bit or distract myself from it for a while it'll make it worse, like I'm not allowed to forget about it or something. That does make sense?

Thank you Eric for the links, I will listen to them for sure! :)

North: It's great to hear your friend is doing so well, that is very encouraging!
 
Wow Leslie735........I read your post and it was almost exactly like reading a post that I would write to describe myself and my symptoms.....except that I'm a guy and I don't have the OCD part in the same way you do. I just wanted to write and tell you that you are certainly not alone with those symptoms. My symptoms were diagnosed as prostatitis by two different urologists. I've been on 3 different antibiotics for a total of 6 weeks so far (still have 2 more weeks of my current antibiotic left). Some days I feel great and have no urinary urgency and some days it's horrible. Today, it's horrible, which is why I came back here hoping to read anything that will help me believe this is TMS. You'd think that if 6 weeks of strong antibiotics can't kill this thing, then it's something that antibiotics can't kill. Like you, I google and google and google. I even googled the IC stuff like you did lol! I dwell on it constantly. As I've googled "urinary urgency", I've seen so many sites and forums come up where people are told that anxiety and stress can cause it. Well, if it's stress or anxiety, I say it's TMS.
Anyway, I just want to say keep your chin up. My horrible back pain was cured 100% by believing in Dr. Sarno and TMS. I think we can both beat our symptoms! Good luck to both of us!
 
Tru B Leever said:
Wow Leslie735........I read your post and it was almost exactly like reading a post that I would write to describe myself and my symptoms.....except that I'm a guy and I don't have the OCD part in the same way you do. I just wanted to write and tell you that you are certainly not alone with those symptoms. My symptoms were diagnosed as prostatitis by two different urologists. I've been on 3 different antibiotics for a total of 6 weeks so far (still have 2 more weeks of my current antibiotic left). Some days I feel great and have no urinary urgency and some days it's horrible. Today, it's horrible, which is why I came back here hoping to read anything that will help me believe this is TMS. You'd think that if 6 weeks of strong antibiotics can't kill this thing, then it's something that antibiotics can't kill. Like you, I google and google and google. I even googled the IC stuff like you did lol! I dwell on it constantly. As I've googled "urinary urgency", I've seen so many sites and forums come up where people are told that anxiety and stress can cause it. Well, if it's stress or anxiety, I say it's TMS.
Anyway, I just want to say keep your chin up. My horrible back pain was cured 100% by believing in Dr. Sarno and TMS. I think we can both beat our symptoms! Good luck to both of us!
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I am so sorry you are struggling with the same thing, its not easy that is for sure! Like you, I have bad days and I have good days. The last few days have been bad days for me, hence the reason I posted. When its happening your desperate to have some sort of positive outlook. I totally get it. I'm so glad to hard you were able to relive your back pain through TMS work. How long ago was that? I've been doing the structural program for 13 days now, off and on. I need to stick to it. I ordered one of Dr. Sarno's books and plan to start reading it once my finals are over (this weekend). We can do this, feel free to private message me and we can help each other. I've already made one friend from here who is dealing with the same thing maybe we can bounce off each other. :) Thank you for posting!!
 
What is the trick to keeping your mind focused on TMS and not wondering if it's something physical? That is what I'm struggling with the most here. My mind starts to wonder and then I find my anxiety picking up.
 
Leslie, that's a common problem, keeping our mind on the symptoms being caused by TMS.
Our mind can wander into the structural every easily because that's what we've been taught all our lives.
Now that we have Dr. Sarno TMS knowledge, we need to stop thinking our pain is caused by something physical.

I have this same problem and many others do who are in their forties and older, and good grief, I'll be 84 next month.
It is easy for me to worry that I am going to be with a walker or in a wheelchair, when right now I don't even use a cane!

Like Sarno and Steve and Herbie remind us, our mind is a very powerful thing. We can program it for good or bad.
Let's all keep programming it to think healthy and happy. Leave no room for doubt or worry, and above all,
we must not catastrophize. The worst seldom if ever comes.
 
Leslie735 said:
I am so sorry you are struggling with the same thing, its not easy that is for sure! Like you, I have bad days and I have good days. The last few days have been bad days for me, hence the reason I posted. When its happening your desperate to have some sort of positive outlook. I totally get it. I'm so glad to hard you were able to relive your back pain through TMS work. How long ago was that? I've been doing the structural program for 13 days now, off and on. I need to stick to it. I ordered one of Dr. Sarno's books and plan to start reading it once my finals are over (this weekend). We can do this, feel free to private message me and we can help each other. I've already made one friend from here who is dealing with the same thing maybe we can bounce off each other. :) Thank you for posting!!
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Hi Leslie......One of the greatest things about a forum like this is realizing that you are not alone. There are a lot of great people on here who are more than willing to take the time to write down words of encouragement and give advice.
I've been back pain free for approx 7 years now. I'll PM you about our wonderful shared urgency issues and bore you with more details about how I beat my back pain. :-)
 
Leslie735 said:
What is the trick to keeping your mind focused on TMS and not wondering if it's something physical? That is what I'm struggling with the most here. My mind starts to wonder and then I find my anxiety picking up.
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I don't think it's possible for most of us to "not" wonder if a pain or discomfort is something physical. It's human nature to think that when you feel pain, there is something wrong. For most people, that "something wrong" must be something physical, or so they believe. For those of us enlightened by the knowledge of TMS, we know that that "something wrong" is very likely psychological. With my current urinary urgency symptoms, I battle all day long in my head over whether it's TMS or something really wrong. I want to believe TMS, yet I'm still taking antibiotics. Hard to tell myself that it's all in my head as I pop another pill in my mouth. It's a constant battle for me, but a battle I plan on winning. I told myself that I'll finish off the antibiotics, but if the discomfort is still there, then it's 100% TMS and I'm going to treat it that way!
 
Leslie735 said:
What is the trick to keeping your mind focused on TMS and not wondering if it's something physical? That is what I'm struggling with the most here. My mind starts to wonder and then I find my anxiety picking up.
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Every time you feel pain, then think what is worrying me at this time? What am I frustrated about? What current pressures have I not faced and let go this month or this week or this year.
See its not as easy as just not thinking about something bad, right. We have to think of that "something bad" and then face the situation by deciding right then and there that we will process the thought or feelings and emotions to the best of our ability and then process it and let it go.
We want to hang on to these stresses and we don't know that still thinking of them in our mind is like going over and over the same bad emotion hundreds of times a week and that brings on the pain.
Just face the worries and stresses. The tension and strain. The bad past and fearful future and believe all is well. Then you will recondition and get well.
That's it. Hope you have a great weekend.
Bless you
 
Tru B Leever said:
I don't think it's possible for most of us to "not" wonder if a pain or discomfort is something physical. It's human nature to think that when you feel pain, there is something wrong. For most people, that "something wrong" must be something physical, or so they believe. For those of us enlightened by the knowledge of TMS, we know that that "something wrong" is very likely psychological. With my current urinary urgency symptoms, I battle all day long in my head over whether it's TMS or something really wrong. I want to believe TMS, yet I'm still taking antibiotics. Hard to tell myself that it's all in my head as I pop another pill in my mouth. It's a constant battle for me, but a battle I plan on winning. I told myself that I'll finish off the antibiotics, but if the discomfort is still there, then it's 100% TMS and I'm going to treat it that way!
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Tru B Leever, I wish you the best in your recovery. I believe we have chatted before. It's nice knowing you are around to check-in. Let me know if you need to just talk sometimes ok. Sounds like you have a firm hand on your control.
Bless you
 
Eric "Herbie" Watson said:
Tru B Leever, I wish you the best in your recovery. I believe we have chatted before. It's nice knowing you are around to check-in. Let me know if you need to just talk sometimes ok. Sounds like you have a firm hand on your control.
Bless you
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Hi Eric,

Thanks for the well wishes! I really appreciate it. I'm still battling the same prostatitis like symptoms that I first wrote about on here in February. It's tough because my back pain from years ago was cured quickly and completely by learning about and believing in TMS. This just doesn't seem to want to quit, and as I wrote earlier, I'm still taking the antibiotics so that makes it difficult to 100% say it's TMS while I'm taking medication for prostatitis. Think it's time to dive into the structured education program and see if that can help me.

Thanks for always being here for so many of us!!!
 
Hi, Tru B Leever, you may have to spend more time on journaling because you may have
one or more repressed emotions that you didn't get to before. Try going farther back into
your childhood. Or maybe your personality is causing the TMS pain, if you're a perfectionist
or "goodist." We can be hard on ourselves and expect too much of ourselves. Ease up on
yourself and see if you improve. The SEP program will guide you to do both.
 
Walt Oleksy said:
Hi, Tru B Leever, you may have to spend more time on journaling because you may have
one or more repressed emotions that you didn't get to before. Try going farther back into
your childhood. Or maybe your personality is causing the TMS pain, if you're a perfectionist
or "goodist." We can be hard on ourselves and expect too much of ourselves. Ease up on
yourself and see if you improve. The SEP program will guide you to do both.
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Hi Walt......Thanks for the encouragement. I never had much luck with the journaling because I have a hard time finding childhood issues to write about. I honestly had a really good childhood; never bullied, lots of friends, nice house in a great town, loving parents and brother, no tragedies or early deaths, etc. I definitely am a bit of a perfectionist though and probably a bit of a goodist too as I want people to like me and always try to do the right thing. Hopefully the SEP will find something that I am missing.
 
I have been recovering from a sore back which I had for 2 years, my back is now 80-90% better after 2 months. I have let myself get away with a lot of self-pity. I let my body get away with misbehaving. I also had a frequency problem. When I am out and about and I have the urge, I say: stop that, stop it now. This doesn't work if you send the message to the bladder area, you must send the message down the back of your head, to your neck and downward. I am noticing also as a newcomer, that as time goes on and I am being more gentle with myself, with journaling and processing emotions through the SED program, and through contact with all my new friends on the forum, so my issues aren't as drastic and I am having much more fun out exploring the world.
 
Tru B Leever said:
Hi Walt......Thanks for the encouragement. I never had much luck with the journaling because I have a hard time finding childhood issues to write about. I honestly had a really good childhood; never bullied, lots of friends, nice house in a great town, loving parents and brother, no tragedies or early deaths, etc. I definitely am a bit of a perfectionist though and probably a bit of a goodist too as I want people to like me and always try to do the right thing. Hopefully the SEP will find something that I am missing.
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I have struggled severely with urinary urgency. In fact, last Wednesday I called the urologist in tears because it hurt so bad and there was no infection. In My mind, I actually figured it was TMS but I had thought I beat the urinary symptoms years ago. So urologist called in a muscle relaxer and Xanax. Told me to take one or the other. I took the Xanax, and boom, pain was gone, which tells me it was anxiety (TMS) causing the pain, not a urinary/bladder problem. Once I had this "aha" moment, the urgency went away. A day later, I'm painting and have an excruciating back spasm which I've struggled with for a few days. Had a tough go of it for a few days then found this site and listened to some of Herbie and Bruce's recordings and I am remarkably better. I sometimes wonder if people with our personalities try to master TMS too hard and that's what keeps us sick. I had an amazing childhood and a great life so far, but the reality is I am a perfectionist and a worrier. I truly think that's why I have TMS. There are no dark secrets lurking in my past. I just need to let go, trust TMS and move on:) feel free to contact me if you ever need to about the bladder problems. I really struggled. Have a great day!

Kristen
 
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