Really depressed - Is TMS ever incurable?

[zclesa]

Urgh, so teary and depressed today. I feel so stuck and am beginning to wonder if certain types of TMS are simply incurable.

Mine is due to a trauma response. I've had variations of TMS since childhood due to growing up with an emotionally abusive narcissistic mother. She set it off again about 5 years ago and I developed 24/7 Vestibular Migraine and it just isn't going away.

I have had some success with doing yoga. I usually notice it a lot less when doing that. I've stopped caring so much about the TMS day to day. No matter how I feel, I get on with things like showering and shopping, which I used to avoid. But I feel I've sort of plateaued in my progress.

And now I've just had a genuine virus (OH had it too). It's affected my ears again and I'm getting very dizzy now with vertigo spins. I'm so sick of this. I'm really worried it's never going to go away. I only have 10 sessions left with my counsellor and I don't know what to do next. I had to stop work a long time ago. I'm starting to feel really concerned about the future and my finances. I'm worried I'll never work again or live a proper life

 

[savasana]

Wanted to post here too because I noticed something you said that stood out to me. You say you had a “genuine virus.” The mindbody lowers your immune system to allow viruses and bacteria to give us very real infections all the time. They’re real like you said. But that doesn’t mean the mindbody isn’t behind it.

Do you know how many times a day we’re exposed to very real pathogens? Yet, only a small percentage of those exposures lead to infection. This is a medical fact. We must ask ourselves, why?

Realizing this is singlehandedly what changed my awareness and perspective of TMS.

 

[zclesa]

Yeah I understand that everything in the body is affected by the mind. I have read a lot about this and understand it. I was quite proud of myself actually as I managed to avoid if for 4 days after my OH came down with it, but I forgot that we share a toothbrush, sooo…

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi zclesa,

You have this:

I have had some success with doing yoga. I usually notice it a lot less when doing that. I've stopped caring so much about the TMS day to day. No matter how I feel, I get on with things like showering and shopping, which I used to avoid.

And you have this:

I only have 10 sessions left with my counsellor and I don't know what to do next. I had to stop work a long time ago. I'm starting to feel really concerned about the future and my finances. I'm worried I'll never work again or live a proper life

I highly recommend you move toward the first set of realizations rather than the second, in all ways you can. Remember that you're doing more. Remember that you care less. Remember your yoga helps. This is the area of your experience which will help you, even and perhaps more so if you to continue to "not care so much."

Staying as much as possible in the positive outlook, by using self-reassuring statements and having a strong mindfulness practice ---both are helpful.

Everyone has their own healing path. You are on yours!

I don't mean to negate your fears, but I am expressing what I see for you, honestly.

Andy

 

[zclesa]

Thanks @Andy Bayliss. You framed that in a way that was actually very helpful. It's all too easy to get stuck in perfectionism and forgetting my progress when I'm having a hard few weeks, which I have been. I'm looking forward to getting back to yoga when I'm over the virus. Indeed, I never got anywhere by complaining or feeling down about things. It's OK to feel that way of course, but what matters is not getting stuck in it and keeping moving forward wherever that may take me.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

It's OK to feel that way of course, but what matters is not getting stuck in it and keeping moving forward wherever that may take me.

Yes. It is OK to have self-compassion when we get caught. I appreciate your words on this.

 

[miffybunny]

TMS by definition means it is "curable". There's no such thing as certain types of TMS in that sense. It comes in different forms and lovely flavors but it's all still TMS and rooted in psychology.You either have TMS or you don't....like being pregnant lol. This a form of doubt that needs to be thrown out the window....it's a false and limiting belief...not reality or truth. Hope that helps!

 

[zclesa]

Thank you, but I'm in the position that I've had various forms of TMS all my life. I have had a massive amount of trauma. My whole life has been TMS in one form or another. I just think sometimes even if I sort one thing out, it'll be displayed as anther, which it always has. It's really hard. I'm a survivor of self-harm, bulimia, alcoholism. My body hurts me because that's the safe way to survive when you have trauma. I just feel like my psyche turns in on me because that's what helped me survive trauma and it doesn't want to seem to break the pattern. Urgh, it's difficult.

 

[miffybunny]

Thank you, but I'm in the position that I've had various forms of TMS all my life. I have had a massive amount of trauma. My whole life has been TMS in one form or another. I just think sometimes even if I sort one thing out, it'll be displayed as anther, which it always has. It's really hard. I'm a survivor of self-harm, bulimia, alcoholism. My body hurts me because that's the safe way to survive when you have trauma. I just feel like my psyche turns in on me because that's what helped me survive trauma and it doesn't want to seem to break the pattern. Urgh, it's difficult.

The thing with trauma is that they are experiences which happened to you in life but they are not you. One doesn't necessarily have to stay in the trauma. If you think of yourself as a hero who survived and transcended it is much more empowering. Have you read "Waking The Tiger"? Also I can't remember if I asked, but have you had therapy with a TMS therapist?

 

[Mja1233]

Urgh, so teary and depressed today. I feel so stuck and am beginning to wonder if certain types of TMS are simply incurable.

Mine is due to a trauma response. I've had variations of TMS since childhood due to growing up with an emotionally abusive narcissistic mother. She set it off again about 5 years ago and I developed 24/7 Vestibular Migraine and it just isn't going away.

I have had some success with doing yoga. I usually notice it a lot less when doing that. I've stopped caring so much about the TMS day to day. No matter how I feel, I get on with things like showering and shopping, which I used to avoid. But I feel I've sort of plateaued in my progress.

And now I've just had a genuine virus (OH had it too). It's affected my ears again and I'm getting very dizzy now with vertigo spins. I'm so sick of this. I'm really worried it's never going to go away. I only have 10 sessions left with my counsellor and I don't know what to do next. I had to stop work a long time ago. I'm starting to feel really concerned about the future and my finances. I'm worried I'll never work again or live a proper life

What was your life like when this first occured?