question about doubts

[okaoka]

hi again
in the last few days i am very stressed and actually in some kind of panic attack due to tension in other area of my life. after the tension relaxed for a bit (not completely) i found myself obsessing again with my physical issues.
as some of you that read my post know i had hemorrhoid surgeries twice and i still suffer from some pain in the area.
in the last few days its make me obsessive about it and off course i look on the internet for information.
most of the time i look for TMS stuff to learn how to use this process and to convince myself that my problem is TMS and not structural.
but...today i found an article, actually a reserach that talking about anal pain as a long term complication of hemorrhoid surgery. they explain the details about some stitches that get in the skin or something like that.
now, how can i do the TMS work or live with my pain that i know there is a chance it is not TMS...

please would love some replies..

thank you

 

[feduccini]

Hi okaoka. I think you might benefit from Helmut videos. He talks about TMS as an OCD issue: https://www.youtube.com/@mindful__gardener

And this one here is a fantastic recovery story, and might be similar to what you've been through:

Nevertheless, TMS is an interpretation error about signals from the body. It might occur either when the signals are safe or not (in this case amplifying the pain), so even if there's a structural reason for discomfort, TMS plays a role in making things way worse. But the way you said this article seems to be too alarmist, probably focusing on the pain data from the research and nothing else.

 

[okaoka]

thank you, yes i have OCD, and like i read someone posting that he feels when his OCD is high the pain is low and vice versa. I get it, the pain is OCD.
i am just tired of it, i know that even if its structural it can be more manageable if i am relax and in good mode and now i after a few stressful days so i am obsessed again.

about the the interview, i watched it, and its inspiring but there is always a but my symptom is always the same , i think if it was jumping from my anal to my leg to my back etc, i would convinced easier that its TMS.

about the research, i was searching in chinese application (i live in china) about anal pain etc...and i got to a video of a doctor explaining that PPH surgery might leave you with some kind of long term symptoms (similar to what i have) and then i googeld and found one study about people who had this surgery and what percentage had long term pain and also how they solved it or not, i didn't understand exactly to be honest and i know it's not this forum purpose to speak about medical details...

 

[Cap'n Spanky]

Hi @okaoka - so sorry for the pain you are going through!

Whenever you a google medical condition, there's a very good chance you will find some doctor or study showing a dire prognosis. Frankly, that doesn't mean squat! I was told by two orthopedic surgeons that my tennis elbow would return. After I found the TMS/Mind-body approach, it has NEVER comeback. Our bodies have an amazing and remarkable ability to heal!

In my opinion, you cannot have one foot in the physical-structural explanation and the other in the TMS world. For this to work, you have to commit to the TMS/mind-body approach. If you're not ready for that, that's ok. But when you are ready, don't google your symptoms.

 

[Cactusflower]

I have back pain. There is one place it never moves from, always the same. It is TMS.
Anxiety is the driver of both TMS and OCD, and many people who have TMS have OCD (I’d say most/all) like thoughts towards the symptoms which is what fuels and perpetuates them.
Similarly to your findings re: anal surgery is back surgery. A very high failure rate because the genus is of the pain is not structural.
There’s a movie about this phenomenon called Love Heals. The documentary is about failed surgery and how one woman began to find new meaning to her life. She has pain, but her life purpose is so much more important now. She had to do a lot of psychological work and dig into a dark past to begin healing. The healing comes not when pain and all discomfort disappears, it comes when you no longer suffer mentally from its presence. My pain may or may not be structural, I’m past any worry or focus on that, and life is way better most days.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

If you want to get well, you must stop identifying yourself as unwell.

Everytime you allow your TMS brain to Google your symptoms you are making the choice to focus on the physical so that you can continue to reinforce your identity as unwell.

I get it that the compulsion is very strong, but the truth is that there are ways to fight back and not allow this to happen.

The body is designed to heal, but the mind must agree to allow healing.

Choose to be unwell, or choose recovery.

 

[feduccini]

i am just tired of it

I know, it sucks. It's like life wasn't satisfied with everything you had to endure, it decides to throw you the ultimate joke... But that's not what happening and you seem to know that already.
I wish we could all say "ok, I get it, I gotta work on my mind health" and that be enough for the lymbic system deactivate the stress source. Unfortunately we gotta change the tyre while driving the car.

For now, understand we here in this forum are not a bunch of really unlucky people. Chronic pain has been increasing in a terrifying pace worldwide. It's just the majority of people are so stuck on the western way of thinking health, they simply don't know they have a mindbody condition. Since I started this TMS journey I've been noticing how almost everyone I know in the adult life has something that I can easily describe as TMS.

So... you're living this for a while and it is a piece of crap. Find a safe space and be angry about it! Write about it and curse a lot. Feel the desire to punch a wall. Let this energy burn. In the process you'll stumble upon a lot of other things that annoys you. Address that too. If sadness come, you're in lucky. Feel it and cry for real, enjoy the feeling. TMS healing is a decluttering process and it takes time, because you're getting rid of decades of emotional burdens.

 

[Vasilisa]

Hello OkaOka, someone gave you good advice to read Gabor Mate ....but problem with him will be that his cure- being authentic to yourself- would be very vague and confusing .... whats that suppose to mean ? No one teached me that or could give an example of someone who s authentic .

 

[okaoka]

thank you everyone for the responses...i have another question, if i don't feel the pain while sleeping or when waking up in the morning (or even afternoon nap) does it mean that its my mind creating the symptoms? i mean does it mean it is TMS? or its more complicated than that.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

These questions are irrelevant to TMS. Your brain will give you the symptoms that distract you the most. There is no other logic or reason behind it. When you've been told that the doctors can't find anything specific, and when it's obvious they are just guessing at possible reasons, you must give up thinking physically, and only think psychologically.

Your first thread from last year is here https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/anal-discomfort.28334/ (anal discomfort) but you do not appear to have made any emotional progress since then. You are still obsessing over physical symptoms.

Did you ever do the Structured Educational Program? Or discuss TMS with your psychologist? These were all suggestions made then.

 

[okaoka]

i know, i haven't made progress about deciding to treat my issue emotionally. the problem for me is that the doctor saw some inflammation in the area (but don't know the cause) then i start to suspect its due to the surgeries i had in the area (scars maybe or even stitches or something else) thats the reason its hard for me to be fully dedicated to the emotional side.
i did try and started the doc journey by david hanscom, if you are aware of it, but havent finish it.
i know i am repeating myself and it makes some of you not know already what to reply...sorry for that...

 

[feduccini]

i know, i haven't made progress about deciding to treat my issue emotionally.

Believe me, there will always be something to make you doubt TMS if you let it, because that's what TMS does, symptoms + anxiety. That's how it makes you fearful to get out of bed first thing in the morning, because it thinks you'll be in danger otherwise.

 

[okaoka]

Believe me, there will always be something to make you doubt TMS if you let it, because that's what TMS does, symptoms + anxiety. That's how it makes you fearful to get out of bed first thing in the morning, because it thinks you'll be in danger otherwise.

yea i know...its just that its crazy how can you feel the symptoms so clear but have to convince yourself its not structural...

 

[Vasilisa]

Do you have pains DURING BM? My ones are due to scar tissue build up and tight sphincter due to medical injury to anus....also sphicter is so dense and guarding after trauma that its impossible to fit finger inside.... when anus feels like it has no opening and anal pressure is daily issue- pure torture... pelvic floor disfunction forum refers people to wise anderson protocol of paradoxical relaxation but its not easy to relax with this scary condition

 

[okaoka]

i usually don't have pain with bowel movements but sometimes after

 

[Vasilisa]

i usually don't have pain with bowel movements but sometimes after

During 2 Hemmorfhoidoctomies they removed how many hems, which grades and were they internal? All those interventions,surgeries, fissures create scar tissue strictures that narrow anal passage .... people that heal anal fissures are left with tight sphincters and being ignored by doctors - telling to them that its all in their heads

 

[JanAtheCPA]

@okaoka, I would strongly advise you to not respond to @Vasilisa, who is well known here. We feel very sorry for her, but she identifies purely as someone who is a victim of her physical symptoms, she continues to obsess over physical details in spite of our patience and advice to not do so, and she has not made any progress here.

We are really trying hard to work with you here on this forum. You chose to come here presumably because we focus on the psychological, not the physical. You certainly chose this forum because you can see that we have success, and we do that by completely rejecting symptom details. If you want to keep talking about your symptoms and be a victim of them, this is not the right place for you, I'm sorry.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

@Vasilisa, we have been very patient with you for a long time. People here have spent a lot of time giving you excellent advice, but you are unable to incorporate it. You continue to talk about your symptoms and your suffering and your victimhood, and we have not deleted your posts because we feel sorry for you and we would like to help. HOWEVER it is entirely inappropriate for you to encourage another member to have a completely physical discussion on this public forum.

I am going to post warnings on your entries, and I'm going to place you in moderation, which means that your posts are reviewed before they can be made public. I'm sorry to have to do this, but this is the wrong forum for this kind of discussion.

You and @okaoka may use a Private Conversation if you really want to talk about this.

I received a PC this morning from someone who was concerned about @Vasilisa hijacking this thread, and I agree with that concern. Anyone else, feel free to contact me the same way. Or you can simply click Report below a post to report it.

 

[okaoka]

@okaoka, I would strongly advise you to not respond to @Vasilisa, who is well known here. We feel very sorry for her, but she identifies purely as someone who is a victim of her physical symptoms, she continues to obsess over physical details in spite of our patience and advice to not do so, and she has not made any progress here.

We are really trying hard to work with you here on this forum. You chose to come here presumably because we focus on the psychological, not the physical. You certainly chose this forum because you can see that we have success, and we do that by completely rejecting symptom details. If you want to keep talking about your symptoms and be a victim of them, this is not the right place for you, I'm sorry.

yes i understand, i was just replying.
thank you very much for your effort, i understand how frustrating is you are trying to give advise and help make progress but people keep talking about the physical.
thank you again!

 

[okaoka]

i really appreciate everyone advise and i know you all have very good intentions by spending time to reply to each message.
thank you again everyone