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My TMS Success Story (crippling foot pain - plantar fasciitis, wrist pain, eye pain)

I'll take this opportunity (as a forum admin) to point out one of the editorial features of the forum software:
Walt Oleksy said:
I misquoted or misspelled...
Click to expand...

Whenever you're logged in, you can go back and edit any post that you've previously made - "Edit Delete Report" are the three options on the left side of the screen underneath each of your own posts. I'm often editing my posts after the fact!

~Jan
 
Boston Redsox, what would you like to know more about? I'd like to share anything that can help!
 
Anita,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so pleased to hear you have made such a good recovery and that you are now leading a much fuller and happier life!

I have suffered with lower back pain, pelvic pain and vulvodynia for the past 8 years. It started at the age of 22 following a particularly stressful period when my sister had a breakdown, I was training to be a teacher and had a very difficult class to manage and was suffering from a long bout of insomnia and trying to build up a new relationship. I had not heard about TMS at the time and so thought that I must have hurt myself somehow. I have seen so many doctors and tried so many treatments (which I know is not an uncommon story with chronic pain by any means!) but none have provided any real or lasting answers.

I am struggling with accepting that I have TMS due to swelling being one of my symptoms (visible swelling, not just the sensation of swelling). I was therefore encouraged to hear that you too struggled with accepting your plantar fascia of your right foot was TMS related due to inflammation and I am wondering whether you had visible swelling with this inflammation or not?

Thank you for your time in reading and answering this question. It is much appreciated.

Kathryn
 
Anita, Thank you for your posts! I love and need success stories. My question for you is HOW did you let go of the fear? I have had success with Sarno's approach to TMS in the past (as well as Dr. Schubiner's program) but now I have been in a really bad state with IBS. I am now stuck with the fear that it is not working this time and I know I have to let that fear go in order to recover. I keep telling myself NOT to be afraid that I WILL recover but my brain doesn't seem to be listening! Is there something specific you did or told yourself to overcome the fear? As with your foot pain there are not a lot of success stories about IBS, although I know for sure that it is TMS. I have been reading, journaling, doing mindful meditation, exploring my emotions and talking to my brain until I am blue in the face!
Cheryl
 
mindbodynovice said:
Anita,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so pleased to hear you have made such a good recovery and that you are now leading a much fuller and happier life!

I have suffered with lower back pain, pelvic pain and vulvodynia for the past 8 years. It started at the age of 22 following a particularly stressful period when my sister had a breakdown, I was training to be a teacher and had a very difficult class to manage and was suffering from a long bout of insomnia and trying to build up a new relationship. I had not heard about TMS at the time and so thought that I must have hurt myself somehow. I have seen so many doctors and tried so many treatments (which I know is not an uncommon story with chronic pain by any means!) but none have provided any real or lasting answers.

I am struggling with accepting that I have TMS due to swelling being one of my symptoms (visible swelling, not just the sensation of swelling). I was therefore encouraged to hear that you too struggled with accepting your plantar fascia of your right foot was TMS related due to inflammation and I am wondering whether you had visible swelling with this inflammation or not?

Thank you for your time in reading and answering this question. It is much appreciated.

Kathryn
Click to expand...

Hi Kathryn,

Yes, I did have visible swelling! When I was a teenager and had pain for years in my left foot, I had visible swelling at the bottom of my foot. When I was having the pain in my right foot, before I discovered TMS, I did not have visible swelling, but both MRI and ultrasound showed signification swelling in and around the plantar fascia. I remember that the following amazon review of the mindbody prescription helped me a lot, because it is another story of someone who had swelling as part of their tms symptoms, and recovered: http://www.amazon.com/review/R3KQZY30ZJXAFB/ref=cm_srch_res_rtr_alt_5 . So, swelling can definitely be a part of TMS symptoms!
 
Cheryl said:
Anita, Thank you for your posts! I love and need success stories. My question for you is HOW did you let go of the fear? I have had success with Sarno's approach to TMS in the past (as well as Dr. Schubiner's program) but now I have been in a really bad state with IBS. I am now stuck with the fear that it is not working this time and I know I have to let that fear go in order to recover. I keep telling myself NOT to be afraid that I WILL recover but my brain doesn't seem to be listening! Is there something specific you did or told yourself to overcome the fear? As with your foot pain there are not a lot of success stories about IBS, although I know for sure that it is TMS. I have been reading, journaling, doing mindful meditation, exploring my emotions and talking to my brain until I am blue in the face!
Cheryl
Click to expand...

Hi Cheryl,

I've been thinking hard about your question. To let go of fear, I think the most important thing is really understanding what is causing your pain. For me, this meant reading parts of The Mindbody Prescription, The Divided Mind, and Dr. Marc Sopher's To Be Or Not To Be In Pain, over and over and over again. I really approached it as rewiring my brain (in addition to the emotional work). I read every day, and though about the entire tms process, as described in the books, through and through. I made sure I understood it start to finish, and could explain it clearly to myself. I thought of questions, and then searched for answers. I was training my brain to think of my pain in a completely different way than it did before. When I became scared of unsure of myself (this was before I truly let go of my fear), I would remind myself of why I have my pain, and how the tms process works. I wouldn't suppress the devil's advocate in my head, but would talk back to it instead.

Once I understood the tms process very well, I had to train my mind not to fear increasing activity, which I was terrified of before. This goes hand in hand with understanding the tms process. I don't know if you have triggers for your IBS, or if it comes randomly. I had a simple trigger for my pain, walking, and I kept telling myself that even if walking caused tremendous pain, I could not hurt myself, and then I would run through the whole tms explanation into my head, which I had drilled into my mind effectively by that point. I read a lot of success stories where people described tremendous ups and downs during their recovery, and prepared myself not to be the least bit surprised or discouraged by them.

At some point, after many weeks of this mental training and repetition (during which time I was experiencing dramatic improvements in my wrist pain, which of course helped), I realized that I had internalized what I had read and experienced enough to let go of my fear. I was no longer scared of hurting myself by walking, and I was not scared of the ups and down of the recovery before me. I had answers for every question I had come up with over those weeks. I couldn't trip myself up mentally any more. Now I just had to do it.

And at that point, once I was ready to let go of the fear, it was all downhill from there. I started steadily increasing my activity level, and my life started coming back to me. Even though I had tremendous ups and downs in the level of my pain, much more than I had expected, I was mentally prepared for them.

A few weeks after I had let go of the fear and had been increasing my walking (but was still walking very little), I decided to take a plunge and book a vacation to the Dominican Republic with my husband and daughter, a couple of weeks out. We were going to stay at an all-inclusive resort, which required a fair amount of walking to get around the property - between our room, the beach, and restaurants. We went, and the increase in walking for me was dramatic. I experienced tremendous pain, but also tremendous joy. The pain during walking was so bad that I would just get physically exhausted by it sometimes. But I never doubted myself. I kept telling my husband that this was my tms test, and I was going to pass it. And I did! I stopped wearing orthotics, stopped using my cane, and stood barefoot for the first time in 11 years during that trip. A week or two after I returned, I experienced my first period of being pain-free (followed by many more dramatic ups and downs).

So, I suppose that my conclusion is that to let go of your fear, you have to prepare your mind. Read, read, and read more. Explain the tms process to yourself over and over again. Take absolutely any question that arises, and find an answer for it. If you can't find an answer yourself, post on this forum. Be logical, and don't dismiss anything your brain tells your, but argue with it instead. Once your mind understands your tms so thoroughly that you are sick of thinking about it, you'll be ready to let go of the fear. You will know every counter argument your brain has thoroughly, and you will know your responses. At that point, you will know that you can't hurt yourself, you won't fear the ups and downs, and you'll be ready to take the plunge!

I really hope this helps, Cheryl! If it's not clear, please let me know!!
 
Boston Redsox said:
Thx for getting back to me well since accepting tms my feet are burning and I can't control them, what did u do when this happened
Click to expand...

Hi Boston Redsox,

I hope that the response I posted to Cheryl above is helpful to you. That describes much of what I did. In addition, I did the emotional work that Dr. Sarno describes. I spent time thinking about painful emotions, and what was bothering me. I thought about every person I cared about, and what painful emotions I had associated with that person. I also started psychotherapy, which was life-changing. In psychotherapy, I learned when and why I repressed emotions. It changed the way I live my life. I also allowed me to catch myself when I was repressing a painful emotion, and force myself to experience it instead.

A big part of my recovery was understanding what to do mentally when I would experience pain. I did what Dr. Sarno says to do in the Mindbody Prescription - when I feel pain, immediately think about what emotions could be bothering me. As Dr. Frank Padrone told me, when I feel pain, think "OTHER than this pain, what else is bothering me?" You have to tell your mind that its distraction technique will not work, and eventually, your mind will stop doing it. This was very important to me, because it gave me something proactive that I could do any time I experienced pain. I continue to do this whenever I experience any pain.

I hope this helps! Let me know what other questions you have.

Best,
Anita
 
AnitaV said:
Hi Kathryn,

Yes, I did have visible swelling! When I was a teenager and had pain for years in my left foot, I had visible swelling at the bottom of my foot. When I was having the pain in my right foot, before I discovered TMS, I did not have visible swelling, but both MRI and ultrasound showed signification swelling in and around the plantar fascia. I remember that the following amazon review of the mindbody prescription helped me a lot, because it is another story of someone who had swelling as part of their tms symptoms, and recovered: http://www.amazon.com/review/R3KQZY30ZJXAFB/ref=cm_srch_res_rtr_alt_5 . So, swelling can definitely be a part of TMS symptoms!
Click to expand...

Thanks Anita for your reply. That is so encouraging to hear. I will go and read the review right now!

Kathryn
 
AnitaV said:
Hi Boston Redsox,

I hope that the response I posted to Cheryl above is helpful to you. That describes much of what I did. In addition, I did the emotional work that Dr. Sarno describes. I spent time thinking about painful emotions, and what was bothering me. I thought about every person I cared about, and what painful emotions I had associated with that person. I also started psychotherapy, which was life-changing. In psychotherapy, I learned when and why I repressed emotions. It changed the way I live my life. I also allowed me to catch myself when I was repressing a painful emotion, and force myself to experience it instead.

A big part of my recovery was understanding what to do mentally when I would experience pain. I did what Dr. Sarno says to do in the Mindbody Prescription - when I feel pain, immediately think about what emotions could be bothering me. As Dr. Frank Padrone told me, when I feel pain, think "OTHER than this pain, what else is bothering me?" You have to tell your mind that its distraction technique will not work, and eventually, your mind will stop doing it. This was very important to me, because it gave me something proactive that I could do any time I experienced pain. I continue to do this whenever I experience any pain.

I hope this helps! Let me know what other questions you have.

Best,
Anita
Click to expand...


Anita

Thx so much it was very helpful I have been doing excatly what you been jtalking about but last night I had so much pain that it was traveling all over my body....maybe it's on the run or the sub conscious was really pissed off so I had to dive into the medicine cabinet to take something to sleep....where you taking meds during this process
 
Hi Anita,

I hope you don't mind me asking one more question about the swelling you experienced at the bottom of your left foot. Did the swelling remain consistent or get worse with movement and better with rest?

Thanks for all your answers.

Kathryn
 
Hi again, Anita.

I'd like to know what were the repressed emotions you discovered and how did you handle them?
If too personal, forget it. But maybe you can find a way to reply to this. I wish more people would write
about what part repressed emotions or their personality played in their healing.
 
Cheryl said:
...but now I have been in a really bad state with IBS. I am now stuck with the fear that it is not working this time and I know I have to let that fear go in order to recover. ...there are not a lot of success stories about IBS, although I know for sure that it is TMS. Cheryl
Click to expand...

Hi Cheryl - I think that there are a lot of digestive issues that are TMS, but not necessarily "diagnosed" as IBS. And of course, I think it's pretty well-accepted in THIS community that anything which the medical profession has to call a "Syndrome" is really a TMS equivalent.

I suffered for decades from inconsistent, impossible-to-pin-down digestive upsets. In the summer of 2011 this culminated in a couple of months of weight loss and a growing list of foods that I was deleting from my diet - along with a whole bunch of other TMS symptoms that were taking over my life. I was more concerned at the time with dizziness and other neuro symptoms, but I was also avoiding asking anyone about the digestive stuff because I was afraid of an IBS diagnosis. Not knowing then that it's just a syndrome that "they" can't really explain.

A.S. (After Sarno, which for me was exactly three years ago) it all went away and I again eat whatever I want (although I've always been into "real" food - no fake crap or substitutes). In three years I have not had a sleepless night due to digestive issues.

What I do when I feel the start of any kind of symptom in my gut is to relax, take deep breaths, relax some more, consciously calm myself down, and tell my brain that whatever kind of symptom it's got in mind for me, it's totally unnecessary, and it can just as easily go away.

To tell you the truth, these days I don't spend a bunch of time analyzing my deep emotions. Most of what's bothering me is pretty close to the surface and easily acknowledged when I take a few moments to figure it out (like saying Yes to something when I really wanted to say No).

What I do on a daily basis I've posted to the thread "It's a process..." in which Forest has asked us what we do regularly to "keep it going", and there are lots of other great posts there.

And follow Anita's advice. I also did a lot of reading and viewing and listening to what the neuroscientists are learning about our brains. This helped me a lot, because it convinced me that my brain is in complete control of all of my physiological processes as well as the mental ones - but that the different parts of my brain aren't necessarily working together in my best interests, especially the primitive brain! I became convinced that I can take control and steer it in a different direction.

Here's another post that you might find interesting, for a different take on mind-body healing. It may not be Dr. Sarno, but there's a whole lot of valuable information in this soon-to-be-available movie that might help move your mind in a different direction: http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/new-film-the-connection-minding-your-body.5833/#post-34788

Keep us posted and keep posting!

~Jan
 
Last edited:
AnitaV said:
Hi Cheryl,

I've been thinking hard about your question. To let go of fear, I think the most important thing is really understanding what is causing your pain. For me, this meant reading parts of The Mindbody Prescription, The Divided Mind, and Dr. Marc Sopher's To Be Or Not To Be In Pain, over and over and over again. I really approached it as rewiring my brain (in addition to the emotional work). I read every day, and though about the entire tms process, as described in the books, through and through. I made sure I understood it start to finish, and could explain it clearly to myself. I thought of questions, and then searched for answers. I was training my brain to think of my pain in a completely different way than it did before. When I became scared of unsure of myself (this was before I truly let go of my fear), I would remind myself of why I have my pain, and how the tms process works. I wouldn't suppress the devil's advocate in my head, but would talk back to it instead.

Once I understood the tms process very well, I had to train my mind not to fear increasing activity, which I was terrified of before. This goes hand in hand with understanding the tms process. I don't know if you have triggers for your IBS, or if it comes randomly. I had a simple trigger for my pain, walking, and I kept telling myself that even if walking caused tremendous pain, I could not hurt myself, and then I would run through the whole tms explanation into my head, which I had drilled into my mind effectively by that point. I read a lot of success stories where people described tremendous ups and downs during their recovery, and prepared myself not to be the least bit surprised or discouraged by them.

At some point, after many weeks of this mental training and repetition (during which time I was experiencing dramatic improvements in my wrist pain, which of course helped), I realized that I had internalized what I had read and experienced enough to let go of my fear. I was no longer scared of hurting myself by walking, and I was not scared of the ups and down of the recovery before me. I had answers for every question I had come up with over those weeks. I couldn't trip myself up mentally any more. Now I just had to do it.

And at that point, once I was ready to let go of the fear, it was all downhill from there. I started steadily increasing my activity level, and my life started coming back to me. Even though I had tremendous ups and downs in the level of my pain, much more than I had expected, I was mentally prepared for them.

A few weeks after I had let go of the fear and had been increasing my walking (but was still walking very little), I decided to take a plunge and book a vacation to the Dominican Republic with my husband and daughter, a couple of weeks out. We were going to stay at an all-inclusive resort, which required a fair amount of walking to get around the property - between our room, the beach, and restaurants. We went, and the increase in walking for me was dramatic. I experienced tremendous pain, but also tremendous joy. The pain during walking was so bad that I would just get physically exhausted by it sometimes. But I never doubted myself. I kept telling my husband that this was my tms test, and I was going to pass it. And I did! I stopped wearing orthotics, stopped using my cane, and stood barefoot for the first time in 11 years during that trip. A week or two after I returned, I experienced my first period of being pain-free (followed by many more dramatic ups and downs).

So, I suppose that my conclusion is that to let go of your fear, you have to prepare your mind. Read, read, and read more. Explain the tms process to yourself over and over again. Take absolutely any question that arises, and find an answer for it. If you can't find an answer yourself, post on this forum. Be logical, and don't dismiss anything your brain tells your, but argue with it instead. Once your mind understands your tms so thoroughly that you are sick of thinking about it, you'll be ready to let go of the fear. You will know every counter argument your brain has thoroughly, and you will know your responses. At that point, you will know that you can't hurt yourself, you won't fear the ups and downs, and you'll be ready to take the plunge!

I really hope this helps, Cheryl! If it's not clear, please let me know!!
Click to expand...
Anita!
Thank you so much for your well thought out reply it is so helpful! I am starting to reread The Divided Mind and will follow up with the other two books you mentioned. It has been a while since I've read them and I need a refresher. Although I know intellectually that I definitely have MBS, my brain keeps throwing me curve balls to keep the fear going.
I just woke up a 4 AM with a "scary" stomach ache and started to panic. I am so glad I decided to check here! I see I still have a lot of work to do and you have given me hope just when despair was starting to creep in.
 
JanAtheCPA said:
Hi Cheryl - I think that there are a lot of digestive issues that are TMS, but not necessarily "diagnosed" as IBS. And of course, I think it's pretty well-accepted in THIS community that anything which the medical profession has to call a "Syndrome" is really a TMS equivalent.

I suffered for decades from inconsistent, impossible-to-pin-down digestive upsets. In the summer of 2011 this culminated in a couple of months of weight loss and a growing list of foods that I was deleting from my diet - along with a whole bunch of other TMS symptoms that were taking over my life. I was more concerned at the time with dizziness and other neuro symptoms, but I was also avoiding asking anyone about the digestive stuff because I was afraid of an IBS diagnosis. Not knowing then that it's just a syndrome that "they" can't really explain.

A.S. (After Sarno, which for me was exactly three years ago) it all went away and I again eat whatever I want (although I've always been into "real" food - no fake crap or substitutes). In three years I have not had a sleepless night due to digestive issues.

What I do when I feel the start of any kind of symptom in my gut is to relax, take deep breaths, relax some more, consciously calm myself down, and tell my brain that whatever kind of symptom it's got in mind for me, it's totally unnecessary, and it can just as easily go away.

To tell you the truth, these days I don't spend a bunch of time analyzing my deep emotions. Most of what's bothering me is pretty close to the surface and easily acknowledged when I take a few moments to figure it out (like saying Yes to something when I really wanted to say No).

What I do on a daily basis I've posted to the thread "It's a process..." in which Forest has asked us what we do regularly to "keep it going", and there are lots of other great posts there.

And follow Anita's advice. I also did a lot of reading and viewing and listening to what the neuroscientists are learning about our brains. This helped me a lot, because it convinced me that my brain is in complete control of all of my physiological processes as well as the mental ones - but that the different parts of my brain aren't necessarily working together in my best interests, especially the primitive brain! I became convinced that I can take control and steer it in a different direction.

Here's another post that you might find interesting, for a different take on mind-body healing. It may not be Dr. Sarno, but there's a whole lot of valuable information in this soon-to-be-available movie that might help move your mind in a different direction: http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/new-film-the-connection-minding-your-body.5833/#post-34788

Keep us posted and keep posting!

~Jan
Click to expand...
Thanks, Jan. You have given me a lot of good advice! At this point I think I have to concentrate on the scientific aspects of TMS, although I will continue journaling. I have been doing a lot of emotional work but at this point I believe my brain needs to be bombarded with logic. I am going to checkout the threads you mentioned...having this forum to come to has been such a relief for me and I appreciate compassion here.
 
AnitaV said:
Hi Boston Redsox,

I hope that the response I posted to Cheryl above is helpful to you. That describes much of what I did. In addition, I did the emotional work that Dr. Sarno describes. I spent time thinking about painful emotions, and what was bothering me. I thought about every person I cared about, and what painful emotions I had associated with that person. I also started psychotherapy, which was life-changing. In psychotherapy, I learned when and why I repressed emotions. It changed the way I live my life. I also allowed me to catch myself when I was repressing a painful emotion, and force myself to experience it instead.

A big part of my recovery was understanding what to do mentally when I would experience pain. I did what Dr. Sarno says to do in the Mindbody Prescription - when I feel pain, immediately think about what emotions could be bothering me. As Dr. Frank Padrone told me, when I feel pain, think "OTHER than this pain, what else is bothering me?" You have to tell your mind that its distraction technique will not work, and eventually, your mind will stop doing it. This was very important to me, because it gave me something proactive that I could do any time I experienced pain. I continue to do this whenever I experience any pain.

I hope this helps! Let me know what other questions you have.

Best,
Anita
Click to expand...



Anita


X again and I have been using those techniques, the problem is at night it's very hard for me to control these pains , so the only way for me to get a goodnight rest is take my pain med only at night so I have the energy to deal during the day.
 
Boston Redsox said:
Anita

Thx so much it was very helpful I have been doing excatly what you been jtalking about but last night I had so much pain that it was traveling all over my body....maybe it's on the run or the sub conscious was really pissed off so I had to dive into the medicine cabinet to take something to sleep....where you taking meds during this process
Click to expand...

Hi Boston Redsox,

If the pain is travelling, that is a good sign! I also had all sorts of bizarre symptoms during my recovery, pain in places I never had pain before, as well as pain in places I had had pain many, many years ago.

I didn't take pain meds during the recovery. Dr. Sopher writes about pain meds in his book. He says it's ok to take them, as long as you understand that they are just providing temporary relief, and not a cure. Make sure you still think about what is bothering you, even if you are dulling the pain with meds.
 
mindbodynovice said:
Hi Anita,

I hope you don't mind me asking one more question about the swelling you experienced at the bottom of your left foot. Did the swelling remain consistent or get worse with movement and better with rest?

Thanks for all your answers.

Kathryn
Click to expand...

Hi Kathryn,

I'm sorry, I don't remember if the swelling stayed consistent or went up and down, I had the pain in my left foot many years ago. The pain definitely went up with activity, but I don't remember if the swelling did.

During my recovery this past year, I had a ton of pain and swelling in my right ankle, and at the top of my right foot, for months. This may have been related to using those muscles after 2 years of atrophy, or it may have been TMS, I don't know. My ankle was so swollen for months that I couldn't pull on most boots, or wear any shoes that didn't have laces. I remember that this swelling would increase when I significantly increased activity.
 
Cheryl said:
Anita!
Thank you so much for your well thought out reply it is so helpful! I am starting to reread The Divided Mind and will follow up with the other two books you mentioned. It has been a while since I've read them and I need a refresher. Although I know intellectually that I definitely have MBS, my brain keeps throwing me curve balls to keep the fear going.
I just woke up a 4 AM with a "scary" stomach ache and started to panic. I am so glad I decided to check here! I see I still have a lot of work to do and you have given me hope just when despair was starting to creep in.
Click to expand...

Hi Cheryl,

When you get that fear and panic, talk to your brain and explain why there is nothing to fear. Also, think of what may be bothering you, other than the pain. I imagine that I have a sort of devil and angel in my mind. The devil is the fear, and the angel is the logic and the understanding. If you always respond to the devil with the angel, the devil will eventually give up!
 
Boston Redsox said:
Anita


X again and I have been using those techniques, the problem is at night it's very hard for me to control these pains , so the only way for me to get a goodnight rest is take my pain med only at night so I have the energy to deal during the day.
Click to expand...

Hi Boston Redsox,

I think that as long as you understand that the meds are just for temporary relief, that is fine!. It can be hard to work on these techniques if you're not getting any sleep!
 
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