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More pain and anxiety with happy events

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Amybcw, Mar 24, 2014.

  1. Amybcw

    Amybcw New Member

    First I would like to say what a wonderful community of people that are on this forum. I have posted very little but read lots of other posts, downloads, etc. that have been so helpful to me.

    I have a long history dealing with TMS. I healed from TMS about 8 years ago and then had a setback several years ago and having a much harder time this go around! It's like I lost my confidence that I will get better. Like everyone else, I do have good days and bad days. However, never go a day without some pain. I can accept that, but I sabotage happy occasions in my life and this is really getting me down.

    This weekend my daughter had a surprise engagement which I have known about for awhile. I am thrilled with her fiancé and the whole situation. My problem is I worry so much about being in pain and have so much anxiety leading up to the event, that I am in pain, worry and ruin it for myself. I know it's about my daughter and am thrilled for her, but I sabotaged my time. This also happens going on vacation and other supposedly happy times. I try to live In the moment, think psychological, been keeping a journal. Feel stuck! Anyone else feel like this?
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  2. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Amybcw, you just have some structure you need to put to what you know ok. Yes everyone with TMS feels this way.
    So listen, you will do great to go through the SEP program ok. http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program

    You should do great here ok. And listen to these audios by Claire Weekes too ok. http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/claire-weekes-audio.2569/

    Just be Patient, Meditate all you can. And as you go through the SEP. We all will be there if you have any questions ok.

  3. joseph32

    joseph32 Peer Supporter

    I think that this may be a conditioned response to such events. I had a similar thought process about going out and fun events. You have to break the pain cycle and just live. Some people use exercise, which is a good way to retrain the mind. I believe you must go out and live and not think how you will be. It may be helpful to real Alan Gordon's "Break the Pain Cycle". He also talk about Outcome Independence. You do not judge the moment on how your pain is, you instead think about how you reacted to the pain or anxiety. Pain is based on fear and attention. It really is that simple.
    zclesa likes this.
  4. Msunn

    Msunn Well known member

    Hi Amybcw,


    I've learned that fear and anxiety, negative thinking, are all just as good distractions as actual pain. So part of my journey with this has been learning to calm my mind, mindfulness meditation has really helped. Another thing I've done recently is when those negative or anxious thoughts happen, I've been journaling and asking what part of me is anxious, fearful etc. rather than resisting the feelings. I've found it's usually parts of me from childhood, or some part of me from the past, that doesn't feel safe.

    I can then dialogue with those parts and remind myself I'm safe now, that whatever happens, I'll be ok, just using kind thoughts toward myself. Being afraid of the pain or negative thoughts or feelings just makes them seem more real. I like the saying "what you resists persists."

    Keep sharing here. You'll find many caring people willing to help.

    Wishing you the best
    zclesa likes this.

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