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Meditation techniques!

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by mindfulliving, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter

    Hi folks...i have been doing well for the past month or so....i still have slight fear of the symptoms sometimes...but the synptoms are more or less under control...

    I have been focusing on myself emotionally...and i realised whenever i'm feeling sad...actually feeling the physical emotion of sadness in my chest and trying to be as emotionally intelligent as possible....it feels like a dark clpud is lifted over my head for a good while...

    I need some help...i would like to find certain meditative techniques that help you target and release repressed emotions....i have trouble feeling anger for god knows how long...i do feel it but not always and i dont think i know how to process it very well...any advice folks?
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  2. Waterbear

    Waterbear Peer Supporter

    Oh man, angry at God. I’ve struggled with this myself for years and it only intensified when my whole body suddenly started hurting at the age of 29.

    Walt and Herbie (forum members) were kind enough to post this a while back: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/mindfulness-meditation.3541/

    It has helped me a lot.

    Walt’s response here has also been helping me: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/depression-and-anxiety.5004/

    I can say confidently that these techniques has helped with deal with negative things concerning my childhood and family members. Anger at the All Mighty has subsided to indifference. I’m not sure, I’ll ever be able to love the Lord like I was told I should, but at the least, I don’t hate Him anymore. But I think that if your body can heal over time, your mind and your soul can as well, just be patient and give them time to heal.

    I also think you need to actively “feed the healing”, in activities that make you happy, journaling, trying to think positive, forgiving yourself, etc.

    I write sticky notes to myself whenever I feel down and stick them on the bottom of my monitor. I look at my sticky all day at work. It helps.

    Good luck!
    Forest likes this.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Mindfulliving, I wasn't so much angry at God but disappointed, that he allowed priests to take advantage of the innocence of boys and girls.
    I finally decided He has his own reasons and ours not to question why, but to trust in his ways. It brought me peace to
    "forgive" the Lord.

    Waterbearer's suggestions are like my own... feed the healing is a good way to look at it... do things that make you happy, and think positive.
    When possible, laugh off your pain or troubles.
  4. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter

    Hi walt and waterbear...i really really appreciate your replies...but i may have made a mistake while typing or there may have been a misunderstanding....i do not have a problem with god....i have trouble feeling anger generally....as in the physical burning sensation...i need apme help in tolerating and feeling anger...repressing less...

    Also despite the symptom relatively leaving me....which was sexual dysfunction...i now have mostly good days with that but some bad days like today and yesterday....but most of all i cannot get the thought of "not being able to perform" out of my mind...are there any techniques that may help me get over the anxiety attached to that thought...thats all i would like to know...

    I know there is something emotionally wrong with me...maybe taking care of that will help me overcome my anxiety....and overcome the symptom completely..
  5. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Private hot-tub, split a bottle of wine with your partner, watch some porn, let her help pick it out, foreplay--voila--it's never failed.
    mindfulliving likes this.
  6. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter

    I have tried that...thank you friend....the thought of not being able to perform and embarass myself still haunts me...although i have only failed to perform twice...the rest pf the times have been more than good
  7. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Maybe she needs to help with getting a handle on this too when your confidence wanes--it takes two to tango.
  8. Waterbear

    Waterbear Peer Supporter

    My terror was called, " will I never be able to run again?"

    I can run again. :)

    However, I was haunted for about 1.5 years with this thought ever single day. The first thought of the morning.

    People treated me differently too as I had the reputation of being super runner girl.

    However, I tried very hard to accept that running is the only thing good about me.

    I had a few close friends who helped. One even said to me, a day I was down, "you know we don't like you because of your time in the mile, right?"

    There is was, people loved me for me, not how fast I was.

    I bet she loves you regardless. If you can't perform and feel bad, give her a massage and a cuddle. Women love that.
    Forest and mindfulliving like this.
  9. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter

    Waterbear you are spot on...whenever i go to the bed with the thought of just cuddling...sorry to be direct...but my member "wakes up" automatically...i figured its the pressure i put on myself to perform that is way worse than the actual performance...and it physically makes it worse as well...
    Forest likes this.
  10. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter

    Regardless....the major anxiety only lasted a day and left and i had a good time with the partner after taking tom's advice...now i just need to learn to get on with my life...do other things
  11. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter

    Second good day! Just need to stop obsessing over my performance and enjoy other things
  12. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    As a lifelong bachelor, this is a subject I am totally unqualified to offer advice on,
    except to suggest you just visualize yourself performing like your favorite hot movie star.
    mindfulliving likes this.
  13. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    This really cuts to what is the heart of TMS healing for many people. There is a part of our brain that is bombarding us with thoughts that terrify us. Alan Gordon talks about this type of fear as an addiction. It wants your attention and it wants your energy.

    So how does it get your attention? It has to scare you and threaten you. So (and this is just a hypothesis) it goes after sexuality, something that is so commonly tied up with self-confidence and one's masculine identity. I'm sure that a psychoanalyst who knew you well would have far more to say about it.

    Of course, with persistence, you can train it to see that it doesn't need your attention and that everything is fine. This may be hard, because fears like this get inside our heads and change our beliefs so that we think that they are more important than they actually are. But maybe it isn't really such a big deal. Physically, you seem quite healthy, and I think Waterbear's advice is great. I asked my girlfriend and she agreed that even if it did happen more, that it would just be part of life and your partner would understand.

    It may be a problem where you can decide how much power to give to the fear. If you decide that it's not a big deal, then if it does happen, chances are it won't feel like such a big deal to your partner, either. If you are confident, chances are your partner will feel good as well. By deciding to be confident and shaking it off it does happen again, you take away it's power and it can't hurt you. Of course, if you can do this, then it will be very unlikely to happen anyway. :) As always, with mind-body stuff, (and there are few things more mind-body than sex) once you can get your mind right, your body will follow.

    One other thought relates to the last paragraph of the passage I quoted above:
    When you write, "I know there is something emotionally wrong with me," I'm wondering if you have a tendency of being very hard on yourself, like I (and many other TMSers) do. If you do, you might get a lot out of going through the Structured Educational Program (SEP) or the TMS Recovery Program:

    I think it's best to do the TMS Recovery Program before the SEP, but whatever you choose, if you do the TMS Recovery Program, make sure to listen to all of the audio segments. Note that in each one, what Alan teaches the listener to do is to learn how to be kinder to themselves. I wonder if that is fundamentally what is going on with you, too. Perhaps these fears are an example of fundamentally not being kind to yourself, and the goal is to learn to be kinder to yourself.

    I remember that I had a pretty easy recovery from my symptoms. But in terms of my conscious and unconscious thoughts, I was still being very unkind to myself. Sometimes TMS is a signal that there is something deeper that we need to take care of. It isn't necessarily anything mysterious or deeply repressed - often it is simply a matter of learning how to be more kind to oneself.

    Anyway, those are my thoughts. I hope they help!

    By the way, have you thought of submitting to our new "Ask A TMS Therapist program?" There has been a great deal of psychological research about avoiding intrusive thoughts in the last 30 years, so they might be able to offer some very helpful advice. It's completely free and is basically like submitting a forum post. The only difference is that you use a special form and a TMS therapist from the Pain Psychology Center might answer it. Here's the form to submit a question:

    Finally, in terms of meditation techniques, this thread seems to have moved on somewhat, but check out this wiki page:

    A book that I thought was very good was 8 Minute Meditation. The author is a gifted communicator and seems to really get mindfulness meditation.

    We tried to put all of our best ideas in the "How do I Meditate" wiki page, so people will have a free centralized place to go for questions about meditation techniques. In the fall or sometime in the next several years, I hope to get the community more involved with updating resources like that.
  14. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    These exercises in meditation look real good. I'll have to find some time to study them.
  15. mindfulliving

    mindfulliving Peer Supporter


    Hi forest thank you so so much for this...i have done alan gordon's program twice now....and am trying my best to follw it once again...

    My ocd seems to be improving...as i treat the symptom as anxiety ...just like i treated my anxiety attacks which came after my tms pain left

    Wenever i get the urge to check whether i can still get a woody...i float through it...i dont succumb to it...i remember to be mindful about what im doing for half an hour to 45 mins and the urge leaves me...i feel much more relaxed...

    Yes this is tough to overcome as it is such a big part of the male ego...but if it happens enough and you get used to it and keep living with it and veing positive...its power decreases...

    Doing good guys...beed your prayers though always

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