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journal about personality traits?

Y

Ybird

Peer Supporter
So I have been writing in a journal about ( or more accurately "from" ) my feelings and problems, as per Nichole Sachs advice on her website. It's fairly helpful, getting more so over time... its makes me feel like I can hear myself think again, and I'm not allowing other people to come between me and myself, like I can be "close to myself " again.

I have been writing about past and present stresses, but the part I really don't understand is where she says to write "about your personality traits". This doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't experience myself as having a "personality".... In my view, 'personality' is a way of thinking about or labelling other people. What am I supposed to write..., like "why am I such a perfectionist, why can't I just relax, I need to act more normal.." ??

I can feel that this would help in one way, but it also feels very disrespectful, like I'm objectifying myself.

Your thoughts?
 
Go back to Dr Sarno (always go back to Dr Sarno!) and review his characterization of the typical traits that make up the TMS personality. I don't think Nicole is referring to anything deeper than that, and of course she worked side by side with Dr Sarno after recovering as one of his patients, and she frequently refers to him in her podcast.
 
I wasn't really looking for a dose of authority, more like examples of how people are writing about their own issues in this regard?
 
@JanAtheCPA is offering you a helping hand. Please don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
How I dealt with personality traits was seeing them within the things I journaled about, but not as their own topics.
Eg. Write an unsent letter to a parent who used me as their emotional support child. Refusing mental health help from professionals and often depressed and anxious when I was a child. My reaction was to become a people pleaser, because when this person was wallowing in their issues and not “happy” it was all my fault. I was seen as the “naughty redhead” and was recently reminded this by a sibling. Since I could never control this paren’t reactions, I engaged in OCD behaviors until I got punished for that. Later I tried to control what I could, and the reaction of the parent became more restrictive and controlling. I became a perfectionist to meet their demands (none of which made any sense).
This helped me see triggers, but it also helped me see where those behaviors helped me. I became an organizer and leader, however in other places in my life, personality traits didn’t serve me. I was confused and fearful, too at times.
Does this help?
 
I'm glad I'm not the only person who can't write about personality as a 'topic'.
I think you are talking about personality as like very long term issues, patterns of feeling. So maybe I could write like 'I always feel that _____", "I always feel I have to _________".
It is a start, thanks cactus. Not sure I would be able to identify causes like that, but anyways.
Maybe someone else will have more examples.
 
@Ybird
I think most TMSers have the same personality traits. It’s what causes the TMS. They are the traits Sarno listed—perfectionism, goodism, over-achieving, pushing yourself really hard. All of this causes your subconscious to feel rage. And it also makes you feel unsafe. Who wants to be driven so hard? If the word personality is holding you up— just think of them as traits. These are actually habits. Ways of living.

When I came into the forum and started learning all this, I was shocked to realize how hard I am on myself. I’ve made headway to ease it back, but I’m still not close to eliminating these sources of stress for me.

I was also annoyed (even angry!) to discover that things about my personality (being an over-achiever; always helpful; filled with lots of goals; wanting to be perfect and do a great job every time) weren’t actually desirable traits. My parents, teachers and employers always praised these things about me. All the while, I’ve been actually hurting myself. It has taken a lot to change my whole way of thinking on this!
 
To be fair, Tim, I didn't feel attacked, just slightly invalidated for failing to understand the subtlety of the original question. It's okay, my friend! In a world where rank incivility has just been awarded the crown and scepter, this only qualifies as a tiny bit of impatience, which is not unusual from those who are still struggling
to make sense of all these concepts which are far from black and white.

I know you know this, and I think that many of us are feeling the strain of current affairs this month. And that's all we can say about that, as we watch LA burn and the rest of the country ice up.
 
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