Gosh this has brought up a lot of queries, suggestions etc. I'll try and give you my ideas on some of them. Firstly, although we know the subconscious is in control, we can retrain our brains (the medical term for this is neuroplasticity). In order to do this though we do need to be persistent and unfortunately, often just telling the pain to go away doesn't always work, especially longterm. If you think of the pain as your inner child (or whatever you want to call it) saying "enough's enough, back off", then it can help. Just as any child needs boundaries (i.e. telling the pain to go away), they also need nurturing. In other words, if you tell the pain to go away, but continue as you always have (e.g. being self critical/a perfectionist etc or not taking any time out for self care), then the chances are the symptoms will remain or recur. That's not to say that you can't tell the pain to go away (e.g. when in the middle of something), but the nurturing part is that you will take time out from distractions, do something you love, or stop ruminating over something etc etc.
The other thing is that if you get frustrated and annoyed when you tell the pain to go away, then this in itself is creating resistance and inner turmoil which 'fuels' the symptoms. Being 'allowing' and 'accepting' of the situation being as it is, of the symptoms and even of yourself and your own limitations, can really help people move forward. Reminding yourself of any achievements, that you are on the road to recovery, plus of any inconsistencies that show it can't be a physical problem, all helps in retraining the brain and the deep acceptance within you.
Although secondary gain can be a barrier to success, this isn't always the case. Often the symptoms are protecting you somehow as a result of the fight and flight response, even though it does seem odd at times that it should cause you to be unable to do something you love. One recent patient of mine had an insight during his in depth assessment that the last time he had written anything without his arm weakness/deadness stopping him within moments, was when he had collapsed and ended up with urgent heart surgery. His brain had linked writing with the collapse and was preventing him from being able to write in case it happened again. Another patient realised that she had back pain in the car because if she ever argues with her husband it is there, away from the kids, so an association developed. Making these connections, then beginning to challenge them (maybe in a fun way when possible), positive self talk, visualisation etc can all help in beginning to retrain the brain to break the associations that have developed.
Finally, if we do have the type of personality that causes us to create our own stress (as I do), then we do have to make some changes. In other words, if you do what you always did, you will get what you always got. Learning to watch how you speak to yourself, let go, reframe your thoughts etc can all help here. Yes you might be triggered in the future if you don't look after yourself properly, or if you suddenly have a major trauma, but you will get better at resolving/preventing any recurrence, especially as you learn to respond rather than automatically react to whatever happens in your life. They say that stress is only 10% what happens to us, but 90% how we deal with it.
