Hi everyone

Hello. I am a 33 year old that started having pain in my butt cheek, thigh, groin, and down my leg about 2 1.2 years ago. The pain started about 9 months after my second child passed away at 15 days old. The pain just started gradually happening, and has been with me ever since. I've stopped working out, lost lots of muscle mass, and have been bummed ever since. The docs say I have pelvic instability and SI joint and hip issues. I've tried acupuncture, chiropractic, physical therapy, osteopaths, ect. I had another child 1 year ago, and 3 month after having her, I started having other weird symptoms along with my pain. I started having body wide twitching, myoclonic jerks, buzzing, hot/cold sensation, involuntary swallowing, and a lot of other weird things. I've had lots of testing, and the neurologist believe it's stress related. I read Dr. Sarno's books, and it seems like it fits me. My sister passed away from cancer at age 28 6 years ago, ever since I've had health anxiety. I am also a Type A personality that gets frustrated when I can't do all that I would like. I am terrified of living with pain for my life. Does this sound like TMS to you? Where do I go from here? Thanks for listening/reading!

 

Welcome.

Sounds like TMS and your doc says so too.

Tough story to read, my condolences.

You can go anywhere you want to go, you control your life. Where do you want to go?

 

I want to have a life with good health and joy! I'm working on it! Thanks for your reply. Did you pain improve after following Dr. Sarno's advice?

 

Hi dtsierra, and welcome to the forum and to our very supportive community. You have suffered from two terrible losses, and I don't think I can even comprehend what it must be like to experience such traumas so early in life. On top of your inherent TMS personality, it's no wonder you have a full-blown case. It sure looks and sounds like TMS to me.

Tom, myself, and many many other people that you'll meet and read about on this forum, have all been relieved of much, most, or even all of our TMS symptoms and "equivalents". I myself have had chronic pain, along with several neuro symptoms like disabling dizziness, shaky legs, tinnitus, killer headaches, worsening digestive issues, panic attacks, and incipient depression. That was four years ago. These days I still have some dizziness off and on, and sometimes I get pains here and there, but I would says that I'm at least 90% recovered, which has given me back 100% of my life.

You've read Dr. Sarno, so you know that you've got some emotional work to do. There are two free programs on the wiki: the Structured Educational Program, and Alan Gordon's TMS Recovery Program. Because of the depth of your traumas, I'm inclined to suggest that you try Alan Gordon's program first. It's not quite as structured as the SEP, but Alan is incredibly good at helping people get in touch with repressed emotions. But you can quickly review each program and see which appeals to you. It's important that whichever one you choose, that you take it easy, and don't try to do too much at once. Do the work honestly, but treat yourself with compassion and self-love.

Reading Success Stories is inspiring, and they will remind you that you absolutely can recover from these symptoms and you can get your life back!

Wishing you all the best, and that you keep posting and let us know how it's going.

~Jan

 

Hi, Sierra. I'm sorry about losing your infant. That was bound to create anxiety and TMS pain.
But thank the Lord you have a new child. That can also create stress, but focus on being happy and loving the new one.

Be assured that thousands of people have been totally pain-free from TMS symptoms. Here is one success story, from Kevin, who said he healed 95 percent. A few days ago he posted that is 100 percent pain-free.

Kevin healed 95 % from SEP

Welcome to the SEP and to the path of recovery. I am on my final two days of the program and I can say with complete confidence that I am a changed man. I started after 6 months of nasty low-back/butt/leg pain, could hardly walk, stand, etc. was in physical therapy, chiropractor, acupuncture, pain medications, etc.. the usual. My MRI showed 3 disk bulges/herniations touching nerves, so that is what I believe it to be....that is until I read Dr. Sarno and found this site.

I encourage you to really get involved, follow the instructions, do the journaling, take time to read all the suggested readings, and watch the videos. I'd say I'm 95% cured. There is still some very light lingering "annoyance", but I still have some work to do. I've been walking miles with hardly any pain these last few weeks. But even more, if the pain comes on now, it just doesn't bother me like it used to, I sorta just see it, acknowledge it, and go about my business. It took working the program to get to that point, but 6 weeks compared to 6 months is nothing! I made more progress in the first week than I did from two months of PT!!! It's going to challenge you and your "beliefs" in medicine, but you have nothing to lose. We generally wind up here when all else fails.

So give it a shot, especially before considering anything invasive like surgery. If you put the work in, you will get better. Have you read Dr. Sarno yet? I assume you have since you're here, but in case you haven't, definitely readHealing Back Pain. Again, it will challenge everything you've believed about your pain, and backs in general. You'll be encouraged to resume life as normal, i.e. stop ALL "therapies" (PT, chiro, etc.), stop taking medications, and most importantly, stop thinking STRUCTURAL problems are the cause of your pain and shift to psychological as the reason.....again, this can be difficult and takes some time to sink in, so be patient and kind to yourself.

It was a process for me. A few of the bigger moves in my case were: I ripped up and threw out my MRI test results (I found myself obsessively reading over them and comparing them to other results I could find on the web and even here on the TMSwiki site...); I got back to the gym and stopped using a weight belt; and I even cancelled an appointment I had made with aTMS doctorbecause it was more than a month away and it was hindering my recovery (that is, my 100% belief in TMS was lagging because I had this pending appointment, but as soon as I cancelled it, my recovery sped up significantly). Everyone's journey is unique to their situation, but I've found that really committing to the program and brining what I learn from it into my daily life has had profound results. Also, sharing along the way here in these forums has been extremely helpful - there's something about knowing that you're not alone in your TMS recovery that really helps. I encourage you to look through my past posts for some insight into my experience with SEP. Like I said, I'm just now finishing, tomorrow is my final day, and I feel like a changed person. It's amazing. And I feel as though it is something that one carries on with, not just like a one time 6 week thing and that's that...it has helped me to get to know myself and taught me tools to "deal" with my emotions. Learning and accepting TMS is a life changer for sure.

 

Thank you both so much for your replies. I really appreciate it. So what would be good to tell myself when I feel the pain? I think a lot oft problem is I feel the pain and then automatically think thoughts like ,"I'll never be able to play with my kids normally" and "All of my friends are doing 5k's and cross fit while I can't even mop without being in pain after." Any advice on replacing those thoughts?

 

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/dr-sarnos-12-daily-reminders.4519/

 

Yep, the 12 Daily Reminders are a great place to start.

Doing this work effectively requires that you change your mind about the messages. It's like throwing a switch in your brain. You have to be willing to take those negative messages and replace them with a positive and constructive message, like any of the Daily Reminders that appeals to you. Doing this does not mean going around with a false happy smile on your face all the time. Even when you're feeling really bad, your new message can be "I can get through this, I can acknowledge and accept the emotions that are causing these feelings, then they will pass, and it doesn't mean that I have to experience pain as a result".

Self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self forgiveness are very important. You have to know and fully accept that you deserve to recover.

 

dtsierra - your story is heartbreaking! Have you had a chance to mourn your losses with a qualified therapist?

Maybe you need to process your emotions regarding your earlier losses - which are so horrible - Then you can move on to the wonderful new life with your baby.

 

Wow, I'm so sorry. That's awful.

Grief and loss are never easy to process and I agree with levfin, perhaps you do need to see someone to process these emotions in a healthy way. I can imagine you have suppressed so much.

Following on from this I agree with Jan, showing love, compassion and forgiveness to oneself is pivotal in ones own well being.

I'm sorry you have had to endure so much pain, bless you dtsierra.

 

This reminds me of the poem by Tennyson.

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174646

"she must weep or she will die"

Its so important for us to feel our emotions, be they of grief, anger, rage or guilt. You deserve to feel your emotions and live a healthy life for you child.

 

I want to share this link where you can view the movie "The Connection" for free, for the next 7 days - a special 1-year anniversary gift from the producer of the film. You only have to provide your email, and I love receiving Shannon's very occasional emails when she posts to her blog.

https://www.theconnection.tv/store/

I'm going to post this in several more threads, because this is a great opportunity to provide a different way of lookin

 

Thank you all again for your support. Yes, I did do grief counseling recently.

I have another question. Yesterday at my son's practice, the coach asked for volunteers to play soccer against the kiddos. I ended up playing and now am in more pain. Is there a link of a discussion to describe why this happens? I actually had a good day yesterday with very little pain until playing soccer last night (something I feared would increase the pain).

 

Yes, that's your mind's automatic conditioned response to associate pain with activity. The fear of anticipated pain can trigger the amygdala into a fight or flight and cause a whole host of ailments, with varying degrees of severity.

I think now you recognise this, you can mindfully acknowledge this and use affirmations to help break the conditioned response.

 

Thanks so much! It felt so good to get out there again, and it didn't hurt at all during. The whole time I did worry it would hurt after though. I will keep up with those affirmations!

 

It's excellent news that you didn't let your ailments stop you. I think you should be proud of your success, even if you experienced some pain. Well done. Measures the successes and don't focuss on any short comings.