Tim Hutton
New Member
Hello, my name is Tim Hutton and I look forward to participating in this forum.
Though I experienced significant and bewildering TMS pain (though I knew nothing of TMS) since my early 30’s, the major turning point which out of desperation led me to digging deeply into other possibilities and learning about TMS, came when I was 42. After being married for about 6 months my wife had to leave and go to a large corporate business meeting in Hawaii, where she was asked to participate in some sort of stupid cocktail party where she and a few other selected women were expected to serve the CEO’s and higher-ups drinks. I thought (and still think) that was absolutely ludicrous and demeaning! This really pissed me off, because it was like there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like complaining to her about it would be a big turn off, and be seen as a revelation of my huge insecurity (which it was) and also show that I didn’t completely trust her, which I didn’t.
Rather quickly to my rescue came a very painful feeling in my right foot and left knee! My knee swelled-up, yes, swelled and radiated heat. The effect was very visible. (Again I hadn’t heard of TMS yet). So now I was obsessed with my knee and foot which aided me in repressing my insecurities and rage regarding the meeting and activities my wife was involved with. The doctor gave me prednisone, and for a few months, because the pain didn’t completely go away, my life seemed like it might be going to hell. Whereas I had been easily and routinely running many miles each week, now couldn’t run at all and even had pain while walking. My mind knew precisely where to make the pain occur in order to create its most compelling case. 17 years earlier I had experienced trauma to my left knee, but only when I was 42 did it seem to become a problem again. I suffered from that pain much worse than when I had actually broke my back in the car accident. A several months, I’d say about seven, after learning about TMS the knee pain went away entirely and I haven’t experienced any knee pain at all since.
The same thing with my back and neck. The pain comes on right where is should according to the x-rays, but from first hand experience I recognized what was happening. Of course it doesn’t help that every time a doctor sees an x-ray of my back they have a genuinely concerned look on their face and say something like, “Has anyone ever shown you an x-ray of your back and neck.”
Having suffered very much myself and still do (from the residue of memories and false beliefs that still obtain in my system) I want to participate in this forum to add what little I can and receive support from the gifted work that goes into this effort and from the generosity of its members.
My mother’s life was very heavily burdened with pain and she exercised what she saw as the best option possible, which at the time seemed to be take medications and then when that doesn’t supply enough relief, increase the medication. My mom was an angel and prior to her passing we often speak about the mercurial and puzzling characteristics of this roaming sharp pain, which I only later after her death learned was the symptom imperative.
I am now 55 and though I still deal with varying degrees of TMS symptoms, if I had not come into contact with the knowledge TMS and Dr Sarno, I am clear that my life would include dealing with a great deal more pain and limitation than I do today. There were days of being bed-ridden over a decade ago, but no one would know that today. I have a lot more to learn, a lot deprogramming to go through, feelings to recognize and discoveries to make, but I think life and clarity is going in the right direction.
Steve Ozanich has been an indescribably gifted and passionate source of help; truly one person reaching out to another in an unconditional way that has made a big difference for me.
Thank you for reading this,
Tim
Though I experienced significant and bewildering TMS pain (though I knew nothing of TMS) since my early 30’s, the major turning point which out of desperation led me to digging deeply into other possibilities and learning about TMS, came when I was 42. After being married for about 6 months my wife had to leave and go to a large corporate business meeting in Hawaii, where she was asked to participate in some sort of stupid cocktail party where she and a few other selected women were expected to serve the CEO’s and higher-ups drinks. I thought (and still think) that was absolutely ludicrous and demeaning! This really pissed me off, because it was like there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like complaining to her about it would be a big turn off, and be seen as a revelation of my huge insecurity (which it was) and also show that I didn’t completely trust her, which I didn’t.
Rather quickly to my rescue came a very painful feeling in my right foot and left knee! My knee swelled-up, yes, swelled and radiated heat. The effect was very visible. (Again I hadn’t heard of TMS yet). So now I was obsessed with my knee and foot which aided me in repressing my insecurities and rage regarding the meeting and activities my wife was involved with. The doctor gave me prednisone, and for a few months, because the pain didn’t completely go away, my life seemed like it might be going to hell. Whereas I had been easily and routinely running many miles each week, now couldn’t run at all and even had pain while walking. My mind knew precisely where to make the pain occur in order to create its most compelling case. 17 years earlier I had experienced trauma to my left knee, but only when I was 42 did it seem to become a problem again. I suffered from that pain much worse than when I had actually broke my back in the car accident. A several months, I’d say about seven, after learning about TMS the knee pain went away entirely and I haven’t experienced any knee pain at all since.
The same thing with my back and neck. The pain comes on right where is should according to the x-rays, but from first hand experience I recognized what was happening. Of course it doesn’t help that every time a doctor sees an x-ray of my back they have a genuinely concerned look on their face and say something like, “Has anyone ever shown you an x-ray of your back and neck.”
Having suffered very much myself and still do (from the residue of memories and false beliefs that still obtain in my system) I want to participate in this forum to add what little I can and receive support from the gifted work that goes into this effort and from the generosity of its members.
My mother’s life was very heavily burdened with pain and she exercised what she saw as the best option possible, which at the time seemed to be take medications and then when that doesn’t supply enough relief, increase the medication. My mom was an angel and prior to her passing we often speak about the mercurial and puzzling characteristics of this roaming sharp pain, which I only later after her death learned was the symptom imperative.
I am now 55 and though I still deal with varying degrees of TMS symptoms, if I had not come into contact with the knowledge TMS and Dr Sarno, I am clear that my life would include dealing with a great deal more pain and limitation than I do today. There were days of being bed-ridden over a decade ago, but no one would know that today. I have a lot more to learn, a lot deprogramming to go through, feelings to recognize and discoveries to make, but I think life and clarity is going in the right direction.
Steve Ozanich has been an indescribably gifted and passionate source of help; truly one person reaching out to another in an unconditional way that has made a big difference for me.
Thank you for reading this,
Tim
