New Program Day 3: Identifying the Source

[MicheleRenee]

problem is we cant fix it cause there is nothing to fix. which goes against what were used to doing.

 

[NicoleB34]

I feel like because of ALL the evidence I have experienced in my own personal situation that I belief STRONGLY that I have TMS! So here's the thing, for me...I don't feel like my fear is that "I'll injure myself even more, structurally, or however" -- I feel like my fear is that "I don't want to feel the pain" and so I fear the pain itself and not the fear of hurting myself further in some way. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I really just comparing apples to apples and in a deeper way, it's the same fear?

YES!! I feel like i need to live in a bubble and not move or i'll trigger the TMS pain, because mine (while almost constant) flares badly with certain activities, so i struggle with "do i live my life and do the things i love, and know i'm gonna trigger the pain?" or do i just sit in a hot bath all day and wallow. I fear the pain coming on after i do things. i fear how awful it is. I do have painkillers, but pelvic pain can do weird things, like cause electrical feelings in your genitals and urethra, or other bizarre sensations like your sensitive parts are in a vice, and painkillers cant touch that, and you cant sleep, work, concentrate, etc. Even though i know it's not structural, i'm still scared of it happening because it brings my life to a halt. This is what i fear.

 

[LEW]

I'm like you guys who fear the pain itself. But just within that last day or so I've tried to be a bit more blase about it and say to myself...it's only TMS. It's trying to trick me into being afraid. But I will do as someone suggested and make a positive spin on it. All very helpful.

 

[Eugene]

Hi Paul, I suffered incredibly many, many years ago...with complete loss of balance, falling down unexpectedly, floors and ceilings spinning, the list goes on.
It felt like a nightmare, as i also had panic attacks and when the balance was so precarious, almost all of the time, it triggered panic immediately.
To get to the point, i saw ENT doctors way back then, was told it was vertigo and it would go...someday.
Years later, after i had been free of it, finally, after two years of living that way......it returned. This was after an incredibly stressful time and back then i
didn't know how to walk into those feelings and overcome. And so ~ i then saw an ENT doctor who was a wize elder gentleman, looked at my records from years before and said "You didn't have an inner ear infection" What was going on at your life at that time, may i ask? Well, i told him i had just given my baby to adoption, had married right afterwards to the father, travelled overseas and boom.....all balance was gone. And so began a hellish couple of years.
(short version ;-)
This doctor and i too, knew for certain that enormous stress and hidden and powerful emotions unattended to.....had manifested in the vertigo.
Also in panic.
In the last 3 years in debilitating pain, which i am so thrilled is dissipating, Bravo! I do understand how TMS works and i do still see how the pain arises, when the brain is threatened i am telling it to 'give up it's role of protecting me'. Not a straight line, this healing, for some of us. And it acts up when
i feel a danger in expressing all of what i feel, with very specific situations and people. And i'm a spiritual/pshychological counsellor, ha! But so what.
This gives me the compassion, understanding and ability to provide a 'safe' place for anyone i facilitate. Plus, i know this journey firsthand.
ah well, i didn't mean to go on this much! ;-)
That elder doctor said...years ago now, it was 1982 ~ that when i move through emotional problems that have kept me stuck, the balance in my body will return to where it is meant to be.

Wishing you the best and hopes for your speedy recovery...or however long it takes ;-) Trust trust trust xoxoxo

Thank you so much for that reply @Laleah Shoo Shoo. What an inspiration you are. And your honesty and openness really resonated with me. I'm looking for a way how I can favorite that reply as then when I am feeling despondent I can refer back to it for a boost

 

[plum]

Thank you so much for that reply @Laleah Shoo Shoo. What an inspiration you are. And your honesty and openness really resonated with me. I'm looking for a way how I can favorite that reply as then when I am feeling despondent I can refer back to it for a boost

Eugene,

At the bottom of each post you'll see the option to 'bookmark'. Simply click on that and it will enable you to save the inspiring reply.

Plum x

 

[Eugene]

Hi Click,
That's a good insight. Pain that is incredibly inconsistent points toward TMS, but that doesn't mean that pain that isn't inconsistent isn't TMS. Wow, let me try that again. Pain that is very consistent can very well be TMS. You just need to find other pieces of evidence to back it up. #triplenegatives

I can totally relate to that inconsistent pain.

I have pain in the groin that moves from the perineum to the testicles and to the penis and to the right of the groin and sometimes the right of the abdomen, whilst at the same time getting a tingle in the finger tips of my left hand, and a weird tingling on the upper lip. Every day is different and it varies throughout the day too.

And it all started at the same time, after a massively stressful incident. Two urologists and four sexual health doctors all say it is nothing organic - so what you say Alan REALLY resonates.

Thank you so much.

 

[Eugene]

Eugene,

At the bottom of each post you'll see the option to 'bookmark'. Simply click on that and it will enable you to save the inspiring reply.

Plum x

LOL. I can't believe I never saw that 'bookmark' link. Guess I'll be making plenty of use of that now

Thanks Plum.

 

[plum]

LOL. I can't believe I never saw that 'bookmark' link. Guess I'll be making plenty of use of that now

Thanks Plum.

You're welcome honey
It's a great feature.

 

[Sprocket]

Hi Click,
That's a good insight. Pain that is incredibly inconsistent points toward TMS, but that doesn't mean that pain that isn't inconsistent isn't TMS. Wow, let me try that again. Pain that is very consistent can very well be TMS. You just need to find other pieces of evidence to back it up. #triplenegatives

Thanks Click and Alan. That was my question as well. It's clear that I have a dx of severe OA of the left hip. Yet SteveO said his hip is almost "melted away" with OA yet he now experiences no pain. I guess the fact that I've had gastrointestinal problems, migraines, hives, anxiety, and acne (this last at a very mature age!) leads me to believe that this OA pain could be TMS, even though it never really shifts and there is a structural reality associated with the pain.

 

[Freedom]

Day 3: Overcoming Doubt

Here’s an assessment I did with a woman at the 2017 Pain Conference. We’re able to help her determine that she has TMS despite having been diagnosed with disc bulges, scoliosis, spinal stenosis, and arthritis:

Alan Gordon:

First of all, thank you for taking the time to make these posts/videos etc. Everything helps and is appreciated when we are in pain.

I wanted to mention that this video was helpful, PARTICULARLY when you mentioned essentially "hey, you have 3 separate chronic pain conditions, which are already statistically unlikely, so to have 3 separate ones is even more so"

These types of facts/information/statistics are helpful for convincing the brain (to me atleast) because instead of just saying "believe it" I can provide my mind with facts and numbers that it can't argue against, and then it can start going "hmm.. yeah maybe you have a point there..."

 

[Celayne]

I wholeheartedly agree with Jaxson. My symptoms have little in common with most people's TMS symptoms, so when the discussion centers around "pain" I feel out of place here. I have severe muscle tension, limited range off motion, neck pain and stiffness, and most of the time my whole body feels like it's being squeezed in a vise. Sometimes I feel dizzy, off-balance (as in uneven weight distribution), or mentally foggy. Acute pain is relatively rare. In fact, for many years I often had acute lower back pain, but since the current crop of symptoms came along several years ago I've had almost zero lower back problems.

Though they never completely go away, the intensity of my symptoms waxes and wanes. I tend to go to bed feeling half-way decent, but often wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. The slightest anxiety or time constraints greatly magnifies the symptoms, but if I feel a genuine sense of urgency I can usually move freely if only for a few seconds. Getting involved with a good movie or TV show also lessens the symptoms. So because my mental state usually governs how I feel, I'm as convinced as I can be (90-95%) that I'm dealing with some variety of TMS. Would you all concur?

Question for Alan: It's reassuring to know I don't need to be 100% convinced it's TMS, but does one need 100% faith in the treatment for it to be effective?

I think there is probably an infinite variety of ways TMS expresses itself. I agree that you are dealing with TMS.

My symptoms don't feel like most of what I've seen reported - I can get extreme muscle tension that then will feel like the area is badly bruised. I also have gotten the dizzy, off-balance, or mentally foggy feeling. The good news for everyone is that it can improve -- drastically. I've gone from feeling crappy every day to having 2-3-4 great days, a small relapse (that I can usually trace to a recent stressful event) and then back to better and better. I am nearly 100% convinced I have TMS, but there are smaller and smaller twinges of doubt. When I started, I guess I had more faith in the treatment than confidence in the diagnosis, but seeing results has increased both. I can do it, anyone can. You can, too.

 

[adria]

Hi Paul, I suffered incredibly many, many years ago...with complete loss of balance, falling down unexpectedly, floors and ceilings spinning, the list goes on.
It felt like a nightmare, as i also had panic attacks and when the balance was so precarious, almost all of the time, it triggered panic immediately.
To get to the point, i saw ENT doctors way back then, was told it was vertigo and it would go...someday.
Years later, after i had been free of it, finally, after two years of living that way......it returned. This was after an incredibly stressful time and back then i
didn't know how to walk into those feelings and overcome. And so ~ i then saw an ENT doctor who was a wize elder gentleman, looked at my records from years before and said "You didn't have an inner ear infection" What was going on at your life at that time, may i ask? Well, i told him i had just given my baby to adoption, had married right afterwards to the father, travelled overseas and boom.....all balance was gone. And so began a hellish couple of years.
(short version ;-)
This doctor and i too, knew for certain that enormous stress and hidden and powerful emotions unattended to.....had manifested in the vertigo.
Also in panic.
In the last 3 years in debilitating pain, which i am so thrilled is dissipating, Bravo! I do understand how TMS works and i do still see how the pain arises, when the brain is threatened i am telling it to 'give up it's role of protecting me'. Not a straight line, this healing, for some of us. And it acts up when
i feel a danger in expressing all of what i feel, with very specific situations and people. And i'm a spiritual/pshychological counsellor, ha! But so what.
This gives me the compassion, understanding and ability to provide a 'safe' place for anyone i facilitate. Plus, i know this journey firsthand.
ah well, i didn't mean to go on this much! ;-)
That elder doctor said...years ago now, it was 1982 ~ that when i move through emotional problems that have kept me stuck, the balance in my body will return to where it is meant to be.

Wishing you the best and hopes for your speedy recovery...or however long it takes ;-) Trust trust trust xoxoxo

I wholeheartedly agree with Jaxson. My symptoms have little in common with most people's TMS symptoms, so when the discussion centers around "pain" I feel out of place here. I have severe muscle tension, limited range off motion, neck pain and stiffness, and most of the time my whole body feels like it's being squeezed in a vise. Sometimes I feel dizzy, off-balance (as in uneven weight distribution), or mentally foggy. Acute pain is relatively rare. In fact, for many years I often had acute lower back pain, but since the current crop of symptoms came along several years ago I've had almost zero lower back problems.

Though they never completely go away, the intensity of my symptoms waxes and wanes. I tend to go to bed feeling half-way decent, but often wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. The slightest anxiety or time constraints greatly magnifies the symptoms, but if I feel a genuine sense of urgency I can usually move freely if only for a few seconds. Getting involved with a good movie or TV show also lessens the symptoms. So because my mental state usually governs how I feel, I'm as convinced as I can be (90-95%) that I'm dealing with some variety of TMS. Would you all concur?

Question for Alan: It's reassuring to know I don't need to be 100% convinced it's TMS, but does one need 100% faith in the treatment for it to be effective?

I wholeheartedly agree with Jaxson. My symptoms have little in common with most people's TMS symptoms, so when the discussion centers around "pain" I feel out of place here. I have severe muscle tension, limited range off motion, neck pain and stiffness, and most of the time my whole body feels like it's being squeezed in a vise. Sometimes I feel dizzy, off-balance (as in uneven weight distribution), or mentally foggy. Acute pain is relatively rare. In fact, for many years I often had acute lower back pain, but since the current crop of symptoms came along several years ago I've had almost zero lower back problems.

Though they never completely go away, the intensity of my symptoms waxes and wanes. I tend to go to bed feeling half-way decent, but often wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. The slightest anxiety or time constraints greatly magnifies the symptoms, but if I feel a genuine sense of urgency I can usually move freely if only for a few seconds. Getting involved with a good movie or TV show also lessens the symptoms. So because my mental state usually governs how I feel, I'm as convinced as I can be (90-95%) that I'm dealing with some variety of TMS. Would you all concur?

Question for Alan: It's reassuring to know I don't need to be 100% convinced it's TMS, but does one need 100% faith in the treatment for it to be effective?

I feel like because of ALL the evidence I have experienced in my own personal situation that I belief STRONGLY that I have TMS! So here's the thing, for me...I don't feel like my fear is that "I'll injure myself even more, structurally, or however" -- I feel like my fear is that "I don't want to feel the pain" and so I fear the pain itself and not the fear of hurting myself further in some way. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I really just comparing apples to apples and in a deeper way, it's the same fear?

YES...this is hiw u feel

 

[Alex1991]

Doea it possible to do TMS diagnose via skype etc with a TMS doctor if i am living oversea?
Do u know any doctor that do that?

 

[caligirlgonegreen]

I feel like because of ALL the evidence I have experienced in my own personal situation that I belief STRONGLY that I have TMS! So here's the thing, for me...I don't feel like my fear is that "I'll injure myself even more, structurally, or however" -- I feel like my fear is that "I don't want to feel the pain" and so I fear the pain itself and not the fear of hurting myself further in some way. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I really just comparing apples to apples and in a deeper way, it's the same fear?

I feel like my fear is that "I don't want to feel the pain" and so I fear the pain itself and not the fear of hurting myself further in some way.
You are not the only person who feels this way! This is EXACTLY how I feel.

 

[caligirlgonegreen]

You are singing my song! I've never been afraid of structural damage, but can't "accept" the pain in a way that allows it to leave, apparently. I have tried!!

Yes!!!!!! I have tried too!!! It's beyond frustrating.

 

[caligirlgonegreen]

So I I can accept the TMS diagnosis. I just played tennis and I am not afraid of damaging myself. But I am sick of the pain. I think my FEAR is that the cure won't work. So I am in the position of being willing to do and try different things without fear, but in a kind of TMS limbo, not feeling relief.

I am so sick of the pain too. I'm so sorry. You are not alone.

 

[adria]

Yeah, I totally didn't believe the diagnosis until I started to heal. I don't think I believed it completely until I had pretty much overcome the symptoms.

For me it worked like this: when I did certain activities, I would hurt, and if I did them a lot, I'd have a relapse and my body would remain sensitive for days or weeks. When I learned about TMS by reading success stories online, it helped me overcome my fear. I started resuming activities and just enjoying my life. Sure, it hurt more, but I didn't worry about it because I was safe. Eventually, the pain levels stopped increasing and eventually started dropping. It wasn't until I had pretty much overcome them completely that I started reading books. That was when I decided to make a wiki about TMS where people could share success stories.

Bottom line: I totally didn't believe the diagnosis completely until I was already healed. I just overcame my fear and lived my life.

I do think that TMS healing is primarily a mental game. When you get your head in the right place, that is when you start to heal. You don't have to believe 100%, but an authentic meditative mindset helps. Mindbody healing starts with the mind and progresses to the body.

Thank You so very much for having started tms wiki. It is a life saver

 

[adria]

You are singing my song! I've never been afraid of structural damage, but can't "accept" the pain in a way that allows it to leave, apparently. I have tried!!

Me too

 

[plum]

I just posted on another thread about overcoming doubt but I shall reiterate here...I have come to realise that one of the biggest obstacles to my full recovery was the nocebo that neuroscience is wrong and that old school Sarno is right. This bullshit has been niggling away in my mind for years. It has created so much doubt I feel nauseous reflecting upon it.

Thanks to this program (which I am revisiting and fine-tuning for myself, think of a seamstress tailoring an off-the-peg item for best fit), I finally, finally, finally feel in my bones the authentic confidence to overcome this. No more wading around in the murky psychosoup of trauma and repressed emotion for me. I'm on the highway of light all the way back to full recovery.

Thank you Alan.
This program is the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[plum]

Little 5 year old Plum puts my above post like this:

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

~ Han Solo
(be still my beating heart).