Yep, I agree, that was exactly one of the points I made.
I take you point, so no need to - and I'm not expecting you to - respond to me at all, but I just wanted to reply to Adam's response to my posting above...
@Adam Coloretti (coach)
I agree—the coach isn't the repair man... that's why I put "taps" in inverted commas. As I said, the "tap" might be something like a reframe, expression tool, or habit shift (or similar)—which it's obvious the client has to be willing to implement to recover and
stay recovered.
The point I was making is that the coach may spot what the client needs to do—like spotting someone claiming TMS but still chasing physio (your example)—whereas the client is at a loss to see it themselves.
I surmise you have seen cases where clients missed their own "spot" until you pointed it out?
I got you, and yes definitely!
Most of those cases are people failing to align their thoughts and behaviours with the TMS belief (the physio example, but there are countless more and they can be subtle).
I've inferred it's complicated too (and I guess that's more to do with implementation on an individual level), but really to me the formula is quite simple.
If someone truly believes it is TMS and acts accordingly + treats themselves in a self compassionate way - the pain will go (with the exception of cases where the person is still in genuine danger, then that needs to be resolved).
Perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-criticism, poor boundaries etc can all be placed under the umbrella of self-compassion deficiency. So too is emotional repression because you aren't giving yourself the self-compassion to experience all of your emotions and have them be acceptable (without shame and guilt). Now saying how many ways/strategies there are to develop self-compassion is like saying how long a piece of string is (you would get millions of ideas on social media alone). And it would be nice if it was easy as just telling someone to treat themselves better (it can be - but it's very entrenched), but experiences/trauma have led to that so that's where the delving into the past comes in. I think a lot of people have it wrong as to why we actually look into the past. It's largely beneficial to the extent that it helps us do differently going forward (there can be a release, but we need to learn from that to stop future repression).
Now some people could take my very basic formula above and work it out themselves and heal. Similarly, the coach can get the "taps" all right and say to someone "this is why you treat yourself poorly" - the client could even say "yes that makes so much sense and I've accepted that, now what?". There can be strategies, but at the end of the day a big part of it is just a decision - we know intuitively whether we are treating ourselves well or not - and it's our responsibility. Also, most people with TMS know they treat themselves poorly and put too much pressure on themselves (they know they have the TMS personality), so on the emotional side they know what they need to do in a sense (they are just looking for the how).
which it's obvious the client has to be willing to implement to recover and stay recovered.
I'll finish by responding to this and hopefully tying it together (I may have gone off on a slight tangent - and I did that on purpose in a sense because I thought this might help others reading anyway + I get carried away due to passion for this) - you're right in that it's obvious if it's a reframe or a tool etc that implementation is needed, but the overall and more major decision of dedicating yourself to treating yourself better (and one cannot hide behind a tool or a strategy to avoid this) is bloody hard/scary for most (and takes a lot of consistent work) and makes the coach powerless in a sense because that's a deeply personal decision.
That's also why pretty much everyone I see heal (myself included) realises that it's so much bigger than the pain. Because, ironically, treating yourself with more self-compassion for any other reason other than you deserve it (i.e. just to heal the pain), is the opposite of self-compassion.
So in summary, the "spot" often has to do with not acting in alignment with the TMS belief (or still having doubts in the TMS diagnosis overall) - it's usually self-evident both the fact that someone treats themselves poorly and what may need to be done to fix this (assuming they understand the TMS personality and have read a bit of Sarno) - so a coach is more of a support/strategist here rather than a "spot" spotter (maybe if there's something in someone's past that is making the person act a certain way that the coach can see, but usually the client knows this and a connection made by them is going to be more powerful).
