10 Innocent Behaviors That Signal Unhealed Childhood Trauma

Dr. Hanscom posted a message yesterday about how perfectionism and many of the "personality traits" as described by Dr. Sarno are not "personality traits" but trauma coping mechanisms or at least learned coping mechanisms, which I quite firmly believe. That sort of breaks through the whole though process people who don't believe they can or should change these parts of themselves that don't serve them.
 
BloodMoon said:
What a great find @Ellen! Thanks for posting it up. 9 out of the 10 innocent behaviours have applied to me!

I went to their YouTube channel to see if they have any videos about recovery and found this...

Click to expand...

Thanks so much @BloodMoon for sharing this video. I hadn't seen this one yet and it is great! I had such an intense range of emotions watching it. It so accurately describes the last 10+ years of my life.
 
Thanks @Ellen & @BloodMoon

much appreciated! I knew what to expect when I watched that video--came out with 10 of 10. The one or two I was quibbling with, not sure what to answer--I could watch myself starting to try to minimize what actually happened to me and within me.

The cool (fun to see!) part is that I've made significant progress!! :) Just becoming aware enough to take a quiz like that (first one for me was the ACES childhood trauma questionnaire around 4 years ago) was progress.
But, since then, through therapy, TMS work, spirituality, and increasing awareness over time--along with shifting my relationships and changing who I go to/rely on as well as who I spend time with--I've gotten better on quite a few of those 10.

Today, when I look at those 10 behaviors or childhood trauma responses, I say "I definitely have that....BUT, it's not as bad here and I've let some of that go over there."
Also, I can step away. I'm not ready this minute to go further with it. I can put off later reflection on this, and put off watching the video again (there's a ton in there, and each piece can be unpacked) or watching the 2nd video.
I can keep on with my day--not get stuck.
 
Thank u for posting those videos. I have come to the understanding that my pain has come from being unheard, unseen. When I was a young child my father teased me horribly. He would put me on his lap and I'd wanna get down and he'd say, oh look at how cute you are. Look at u stomping ur feet. And he would continue doing it over and over again, despite my saying no. I wasn't sworn at, I wasn't called bad names, all he called me was cute. When I was a little bit older and he still teased me like this, my mother finally spoke up and said, she doesn't like to be teased. it really upsets her, please stop. I remember going in my room and slamming the door, listening to them speak. He then told her, I can tease other kids in the neighborhood and they don't act like she does. There is something wrong with her. I'm 68 years old now and those words often ring in my my head. I've been married to a man who was just like him. Very dismissive, not listening to anything that I said. In doing this pain reprocessing, I'm realizing what's at the heart of my pain. It's still hard to process all of it but I feel like I'm making a great deal of headway. I thank you for putting up all those videos. I haven't listened to all of them yet but I really I really can connect with a lot of what I've listened to.
 
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