fatigue

Hi folks,

I decided one thing I've never had with changing my body's TMS habits, was a community. A forum. A place to express myself. I've done it all alone, and had my own 'success' note pads, but in the end i forgot about them. So I thought it would be really good and so much more fun to post my wins, tiny, medium, large, here. Maybe even my insights and thoughts. I'm excited at the prospect of having a like-minded community, who gets it.

So, here goes. I'll start with where I'm at.

Today I:

- cleaned my whole room, while learning about the mechanisms of what's happening biologically when your body goes into SNS and then when you have symptoms. (I'd had a super rough day with deep fatigue, brain fog, depression, the sheer inability to do anything or think my way out of the situation). After 4pm and being desperately unhappy, I revised and refreshed my brain-fogged memory as to the actual mechanisms of what was going on, (as that always helps me, the understanding); and I cleaned my room simultaneously - and within an hour I was already feeling better; well, the fact I was standing and cleaning at all means i went from deep shut-down into more mobile, mentally and physically. so that was great. THAT'S A WIN! and i'm here to celebrate it. I learnt a lot (again); and I am more into the understanding and study, with a proactive approach this time; and that included - creating community for myself so I have someone to tell, when I have a breakthrough, or maybe even when I'm having the opposite. And so here I am. I'll add that to a list of my wins today the fact I actually have this new piece of the puzzle. Sharing my wins. yay. I'm excited in a small-tms-way for that hehe. Actually I'm a bit more than a bit excited. I can't believe i'm finally sharing a part of myself with others...wow.

- I am here, typing, and i must say I feel a whole lot brigher than i did three hours ago. I feel more positive. More empowered. Moer poised. More able. Capable.
- i actually did something about it. that's the win. the mindset was, i'm going to do something about it, it's the most loving thing to me and the most meaningful thing i could possibly do today. Not distraction, not forcing socialising and hoping I feel fine. No. I recognised that I was in a stuck-place, and no amout of external (but good) distraction was going to relieve me of the background pain of crushing fatigue and brain fog. i'm glad. as now I feel good about staying home and working on change

Physical sensations - I also feel i can htink clearer, my vision has come clearer; the depression has massively inverted - I stll feel a bit of symptoms but the change is night and day; my breathing is calmer, i think i feel calmer and fresher; i think my pfc has turned back on Mye yes are wider. I think I'd be capable of a socail conversation now. I feel more mobile. AND I FEEL MORE CONTETN. yes. Content to stay home and enjoy this moment. to savour it. my space; writing here; having made progress; making change; dreaming about how good the future can be; enjoyign a nice meal; washing my clothes; organising my room; me time; the peace of a saturday afternoon where the streets are quiet and the light is good coming into my room. peace. Before I coudlnt feel these sensations, only hours ago. There has been a gret shift. Improvement. I can do it.

The anxiety has also come right down (sns, random heart palpitations; the feeling of pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time - like tired and wired adn totally unable to function but very uncomfortable in my skin and feeling 'i should do something' just thie feeling of existential pressure and dread even though the environment was perfectly calm and relaxing and objectively pleasant. I feel much better now.

I feel progress.

Ahhh to have a sunnier outlook. even just 50% . Long live.

Ok! that's enough for now kids! Can't wait to log more changes here

woop!

lots of love