Hello. This is my first post here, and I'm not even sure if this is the correct place to post this. In that case I hope that someone notifies me about this. I have had a huge amount of issues regarding different types of chronic pain lately. People that I know in real life have no clue about TMS and I feel like I need some help and insights from people that use this forum and know about Dr Sarno and his books. This will likely be a lengthy post so please bare with me. I will only write about things that I feel are relevant in one way or another. I had a pretty rough childhood. My father was gone most of the time and whenever he was home he used to drink all day and argue with my mother. This eventually led to a divorce. As a result I had to move to the other side of the country and leave all my friends behind. This left me devastated. I got bullied for several years in my new school and I barely had any friends. I also had some very painful experiences with women which made me feel like I would be single forever if I don't change. Eventually I got tired of this and decided that I wanted to change. I started weightlifting around 7 years ago and instantly fell in love with it. However, I didn't lift for long (about 6 months) until I started feeling a really sharp pain in both of my shoulders, and they would pop and crack very loudly when I moved my arms in any way. A couple weeks after my both knees would start to hurt, and then my hips etc... My pain was progressively getting worse, so I decided to completely give up weightlifting, as I didn't want to seriously injure myself. I spent the next year or so doing PT but it didn't do much. I was completely devastated about the fact that I couldn't lift. It was the only thing I loved to do. I spent months googling for treatments and causes to my pain with no success. After around a year and a half I stopped caring. I decided that I would never be able to lift again and decided that I would become a professional video gamer. I spent the next three years practicing the video game every day, all day. I put my hearth and soul into it. I wanted to become the best player in the world. The third year that I played this game (2017) was extremely rough for me. I spent 6 months in the military against my will, since that is what you have to do in my country, and I absolutely hated every second of it. Right after I got out I started working at a very stressful workplace. The work pace was so busy that I rarely even had time to eat. After working at my new job for about 2 months i started getting wrist pain in my mouse arm. The pain got extremely bad very fast. I had to completely stop using my right hand and was basically forced to live with one hand. This also meant that I couldn't play anymore. I couldn't believe it. I was finally making progress at something I loved again and now I was forced to give it up for a second time. How could this happen to me? Why me? I visited several doctors and pts. None of them could help me. But this time I decided that I wouldn't let my symptoms win. After having wrist pain for around 6 months the pain had spread to my left hand and both of my elbows. I found out about TMS, started browsing these forums and read Sarnos book. My pain was completely gone in 3 weeks. I couldn't believe it. This made me realize how powerful the mind was and completely changed my view about life. A few months later I met my girlfriend and instantly fell in love with her. It was trough and online app, and we talked for about 1 month before finally meeting in person. Late at night when we got back to the hotel I suddenly started crying like I'd never cried before. In that moment I realized that everything that people had told me, that I was ugly, stupid, worthless and useless at everything was a lie. I was 110% certain that I would never ever in my life have a girlfriend. It was so emotionally overwhelming that I just cried and cried for an hour straight, but I felt absolutely amazing afterwards. Fast forward to the present day, 3 months after my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another man. Worst 3 months of my life by far. The reason I haven't gone mad is probably because I have spent all my energy on self improvement, for the most part on lifting weights. The problem is that my symptoms are back worse than ever. Lifting has become an obsession for me. I feel like I will never be worth anything as a human being if I don't get muscular. The breakup completely ruined the little self esteem I had. I can't be like this anymore. I need to become successful, and muscular. I just have to. Otherwise I will be useless and nobody will ever love me. I have pain in my both shoulders, knees and my lower back. I have no idea if this could actually be TMS and that is why I'm here. I know my form on the exercises is not perfect, but I practice it a lot and I use light weights, far lighter than most people. I warm up properly and I make sure to stretch afterwards. It was so easy for me to convince myself that using a mouse isn't dangerous and that my wrist pain was TMS. With weights, however, it's a completely different story. I'm seriously worried that I will injure myself for the rest of my life if I keep at this. Then again I'm wondering if its all TMS kicking in again due to the current circumstances in my life. I have no idea what to do and who to turn to. I feel completely hopeless.