Boy, can I relate to this thread. Especially you, BruceMC. Three years ago, I had a spontaneous recovery from TMS severe back pain that had started about 5 years before. This "recovery" happened after reading 2 of Dr. Sarno's books. I know now that I had sporadic outbursts of TMS beginning at the age of 2 years old. Then about a year ago, the pain returned with a vengeance. I did not at first see the pattern here. Four months ago, I experienced another almost spontaneous recovery from TMS pain and other symptoms. Only by this time I was beginning to see the pattern. The pain has not returned, but about a month ago I began to remember extremely traumatic memories from my early childhood that must have been repressed. I had always sensed that I had an unhappy childhood, but didn't remember almost any of it. I have also had terrible problems with insomnia all my life. As my pain improved, my insomnia got worse and worse. Often, I could not sleep at all. I went back on sleeping pills that I had gone off of six months earlier. That is when I began remembering all this stuff. 1. I was physically abused by a babysitter who took care of me while my parents traveled. This happened while I was being toilet trained at 2 years of age and involved violent shaking, dragging, and being violently thrown against the back of the toilet seat each time I had an "accident". I was terrified to tell my parents. My father was an alcoholic and they had their own problems. 2. Right after that, I started having terrible nightmares and night terrors and would wake up screaming. My mother told me I had been in pain, but I don't remember that. 3. Then I was put in the hospital so that the doctors could figure out what was wrong with me. I remember three weeks of being wrestled down repeatedly by doctors and nurses while they did all their tests and I screamed in mortal terror and pain. My mother told me later that, when I finally got home, my arms were all swollen and black and blue, and she had counted 26 puncture wounds in my butt. They did not find anything seriously wrong with me. My mother never trusted the medical profession after that. 4. I became afraid of everything and everyone. 5. When I was 5, I was hit by a car while being chased by an older child. I only had bad bruises and a mild concussion, but I got up and ran and hid because I was so terrified of doctors and hospitals. It took the police and practically the whole neighborhood almost 2 hours to find me. I was taken to the emergency room, but was released later in the day. That evening, I was punished for not looking where I was going, but my mother would not let my father hit me 6. I was constantly picked on by older children because I was so fearful. I froze like a deer in headlights. All this and more I repressed. I am dealing with the rest of it now. But I have no more pain. Isn't that great?