1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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How I healed from a myriad of symptoms

Discussion in 'Success Stories Subforum' started by Dorado, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    Since doing Alan's pain recovery program and reading many success stories, particularly of Dorado, my symptoms are so much better. Pain is 90 percent gone, activity vastly improved, many minor symptoms gone. I also lost fear around most of my symptoms and scared of any permanent damage. But I am not able to get fear about eye ulcers which can be caused by dryness? how do you approach it?
    Also how do you summon or call a specific user? I really want to know how Dorado dealth with this and her advice on how to approach this .Thanks.
    emporeon027 likes this.
  2. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    @kalyan860, what about eye ulcers and dryness is evoking so much fear? I can understand and appreciate that eye issues are tricky, as anything that may impact your vision (even if only temporary) is sensitive. But why do you think you're still focusing on this particular symptom and not the others you've overcome?
    Cap'n Spanky and kalyan860 like this.
  3. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    @Dorado Eye ulcers are evoking so much fear because people told me they permanently lost some vision now due to them. Re why focus on only this symptom, I think my main reason for improvement in other symptoms was belief that nothing has been damaged permanently and I can do whatever I want. For eg, in IC a bladder condition, they told me my bladder lining is damaged and I can't eat acidic foods etc, I fully trusted that pain is from brain and ate whatever. Same with CFS, a fatigue condition, they told me overexertion will damage me permanently, I decided that fatigue is an illusion of brain and did normal activity. But for this dryness, I'm having real physical consequences if I ignore it. Like I had 4 cavities in teeth due to dry mouth and had a nasty cheek gum infection once. And almost always have few mouth ulcers. And similarly people told me that when they ignored eye dryness without using drops etc, they got corneal ulcers and lost some vision permanently. Also my tests showed that I have 40 percent permanen loss of my meibomian oil glands. So my usual approach isn't working here. Did you do the daily eye warm compresses and drops and eye gel? I'm thinking of using the drops and gradually lengthening time between the drop doses and also give up warm compresses as it gives the brain the impression that we are doing a physical treatment. What do you think? Is there a way to PM you if you are ok with that, like FB or something? Thank you.
  4. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    I tried prescription eyedrops for probably a few days, but I later forgot about them and didn’t do anything else because I was able to connect the symptoms back to stress.

    One of my parents has glaucoma and some permanent vision loss. What’s interesting is that they had fewer worries than me. In addition to recognizing my dry eyes as emotionally driven, my parent’s attitude also inspired me to simply let it go. They’ve had her pressure surgery and take daily eyedrops, yet they were more secure than I was back then.

    I’m very happy to chat on here if you have any questions!
    Cap'n Spanky likes this.
  5. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    @Dorado thanks for the chat room link, will join during that time. So I guess I shouldn't think about doing warm compresses and not be fearing about not using drops enough. I will try to gradually wean off them just like I weaned off pain medication and beta blocker for decreasing heart rate. What do you think? Also, I read your success story and your advice so many times. So the gist is to live life as usual believing you only just have a strong mind body connection and that you are not sick and also to stop researching on disease and TMS forums right. But what is your take on journalling? I feel like journalling increases rumination on past negative events and causes a bad mood which might just reinforce fear and frustration. So like I got the impression from yours and few similarl success stories that there is no need to do anything at all specifically for TMS (not even journalling, meditation; though I like mediation for spiritual purposes.) and just live life without fear and frustration towards symptoms? And sorry one last question is that, like if I watch Netflix and play pc games all day, does that count as living life as if without having symptoms? Like I know that if I didn't have symptoms, I would be studying or doing something productive but many healthy people also just have fun all day long and don't do anything productive. So that should count as living your life with indifference to symptoms? Thanks.
    Cap'n Spanky likes this.
  6. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    I apologize - that chat link is an automated link I didn’t intend to send. The forum itself detects keywords and inserts links to its own resources. I’m not part of any chats currently and am unable to join future chats, but I can chat in these threads/posts.

    Journaling is great if that helps someone with their emotions, but it’s not for everyone. Cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, meditation, etc. may work better for others (or in addition to journaling). There is no one-size-fits-all approach to mind/body work. If you’re having trouble with obsessive thoughts, I’d look for something in the vein of CBT. In a way, my posts on this forum were journaling (hence the ridiculous length and personal detail I’ve sometimes gone into… ha), but that’s the extent of the journaling I’ve done due to my personality type.

    With regard to playing video games and watching Netflix instead of studying, I was in my mid- to late-20s with a full-time career when my symptoms became crippling so I can only speak from the perspective of someone dealing with constant deadline stress while also managing symptoms. I was out of high school and been graduated from college for some time. I was terrified of losing my career, which was a major driving factor behind my situation back then. This is for you to ask yourself (not for you to explain to me): will avoiding studying add to your stress eventually? Do you not like what you're studying? Does having extra time all day not give you enough routine to avoid the distractions of anxiety or obsessive thoughts?
  7. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    Re career and fear of losing it , I was in this same exact position 1 to 2 years ago due to being worried of a CFS (fatigue) diagnosis but now I am working fulltime well without such fear. So its not like I am at home, I am working 8 hours a day at office but when I come home I just pass time with gaming, netflix etc or reading TMS forums and sucess stories. So like, if I have to "live my life fully as if I do not have symptoms (as per your advice) I would have to study at home after coming from work because that is what I would have done if I didnt have symptoms. But dont many working people just have fun and watch TV once they are home and we don't say that are not living life fully or restricting themselves because of symptoms. So this thing is kinda confusing for me.
    Are you having to do any maintenance work now that you are symptom free to maintain it? Or atleast not indulging in previous behaviours like doing overwork etc?
  8. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Got it! So when you say studying, you’re referring to studying TMS? If that’s the case, I would so much rather watch Netflix. All you need to know is this: TMS means nothing more than the mind-body connection that every single soul on this planet experiences to some degree, at some point. Your body is simply reacting to strong emotions. Getting back to fully living life means nothing more than avoiding focusing on TMS 24/7. Because nothing is physically wrong with you when your symptoms are emotionally driven, there’s no reason to let it rule your day.

    Working people are certainly individuals with unique definitions of fun. Sometimes I sleep with my cat, watch old concerts on YouTube, talk to my brother until 4:30 AM, find random piano bars in the city and listen to jazz players, organize data in spreadsheets - whatever it is. I like a lot of random things and as long as my emotions are in check, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing, or not doing: The symptoms aren’t there, or at the very least they aren’t disturbing me (because even “healed” people will forever be prone to the mind-body connection given that it’s a fact of life).
  9. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    Thank you for reply; sorry by study I didn't mean studying TMS. Like, I have to study for a better job as I am not content with the present one. If I didn't have any symptoms, I would have studied for that better job as I return home from work everyday. Now, since I am having symptoms, after I return home I just chill/pass time with netlix or gaming. So I feel like even though it feels like I am enjoying myself/living my life without researching on TMS, I am actually altering a big part of my life because of symptoms, thus it feels like I am valuing them somehow. But it also feels like, what is wrong if I just chill or have fun when I come home, I don't have to be that productive;but this feels like an excuse as I am not studying for exams in reality because I have symptoms. Thoughts?
    "As long as my emotions are in check, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing" How do I make sure they are in check? I am actually very emotional and whenever someone insults/hurts me, I will be unable to stop thinking about it. Continuously ruminating about it, even though I don't want to think about it, and thinking about it does not serve any purpose now.
  10. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    It sounds like you’re stuck in a cycle:

    You’re dealing with symptoms driven by emotions,
    Your discontentment with your job further feeds into undesirable emotions and symptoms,
    You don’t have the will to find a new job because you’re focused on and scared of your symptoms,
    And repeat.

    Questions for you to ask yourself: what makes you happy? Is there any resource such as a cognitive behavioral therapist helping you with your emotions? How do you manage feelings and emotions such as anger, anxiety, and fear throughout the day? What is it that you’re afraid of losing?
  11. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    Yes. I underestand what you are suggesting. Someone said that just as we accept our symptoms, we should accept our life conditions and be content with where we are, what we have . I will work towards that.
    What do you think about the part where I said about ruminating on past insults etc; I am not really convinced on CBT/talk therapy for this as I had few sessions and did not find them helpful. Do you feel rumination on past contributes to TMS ? like the way fear and resentment of symptoms perpetuates TMS (as said in Alan's program and few others?
  12. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, rumination, obsessive thoughts, and thought loops are important to address! For me, CBT helped. That may not appeal to you, but there are other ways to address rumination. Do you need to change your circumstances and environment? Is there another therapist you can try? Are you not feeling stimulated or engaged?
  13. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    My current environment is not traumatic or anything. I feel like I am just too sensitive. I can't get over when I have a fight or argument with someone, and the thoughts keep coming even though intellectually I feel that the matter is resolved and I should not think it any further. Won't talk therapy further wosrsen it as I have to describe those incidents again and again?I do feel stimulated enough, there is enough for me to do already even with my current job.
  14. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Talk therapy won’t hurt if you have the right therapist who will help you address the root of the issue (rumination, OCD, thought loops, etc.) - I’ve had to set boundaries with therapists and make it clear this is what I want to work on. It helps!

    Even though you’re busy, you may not feel as stimulated if you’re not truly content. I could work or spend time with friends for 16 hours straight, but if I’m not happy, or if I’m feeling like everything is stale, then every day is going to feel exactly the same - leading to more rumination. That’s been my experience! You don’t have to switch everything in your life up, however. Sometimes smaller changes over time can help.
  15. kalyan860

    kalyan860 New Member

    @Dorado Hi, I made progress with all other symptoms and I am actually doing well. But recently blurry vision is making me somewhat scared, it feels as if my eye sight has diminished. Is it part of TMS? I heard someone saying they lost vision partially due to corneal damage due to dry eye. I have reduced using eye drops much and am treating it as TMS but sometimes getting scared. Going to the eye doctor will pressure me into taking laser eye treatments which are expensive. Any advice? Thanks.
  16. Zmago

    Zmago New Member

    Hey man, not sure are you responding to your pm so i am posting same question here. Your answer would mean much to me.

    Found your story very inspiring. I am battling with some problems of my own atm and have just a couple of questions for you.

    Couple of days ago i got scared i might have heds. Not diagnosed but some thing point in that direction. I looked at the criteria for diagnoses and i dont have criteria 2 positive. Criteria 1 where they asses your joint mobility i am unsure. When i bend my fingers to touch my forearm i cant touch it. But if i push really hard i can manage it although its painful and finger and forearm are barely touching. I guess it should be done qith easy and not by pushing so hard it hurts. I think my score might be 4 but since i am no doctor i cant tell by my self.

    Anyhow can i ask you to comment on your statement. You wrote this: ,,Are you reading EDS horror stories? Do any of your injuries continue to hurt even after you’ve healed? Do any of these injuries include no actual diagnosable breaks, sprains, etc., but just pain?,,

    I never had any kind of injuries or dislocations or anything alike and i did a fare share of very rigorous sports.

    I just have muscle pains in various locations. That changes places a lot. For example its 10 seconds in one part. Than it jumps to another location. There it is for 10 minutes then goes to another and etc.

    Funny thing is when i was most satisfied with my life i had a period of 5 years with 0 symptoms. When life became hard again on all fronts symptoms came back.

    I am pretty sure that heds doesn't work like that but wanted your comment om that since i live in third world country and dont have access to all kinds of doctors.

    Best regards
  17. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've actually been getting a lot of DMs about Ehlers-Danlos (EDS) lately. I worked with a geneticist at Mayo Clinic to receive my diagnosis, and while I completely understand that getting diagnosed with EDS is often a long and cumbersome process, I can't diagnose anybody else (there's a serious lack of medical credentials over here!). There are also 13 types of EDS it's not uncommon for people with a specific type to exhibit symptoms of another type - including me and my classical EDS symptoms.

    What I can say is this: of course I have EDS symptoms. My joint hyper mobility is in no way benign. Sometimes painful or weird things happen to me. I can't lie and say I don't notice joint subluxations, for instance. I've written before about how I'm certain my sympathetic overdrive is worsened by the dsyautonomia that often comes with EDS. Mayo Clinic has noted that my blood vessels have some problems. Other than frequently getting mistaken as a ~25-year-old (soft, doughy skin that stretches far has thus far eliminated the development of fine lines on my face), I doubt anybody would view my EDS as a positive thing. I was once in the 90th percentile for leg strength at my college back in the day, but my arms have always been pathetic because I simply have trouble with them. That's EDS for me. Someone else with hEDS may have a different experience, and certainly someone with the classical, vascular, etc. types will have their own unique experience.

    But that shouldn't matter to anybody else. I'm very careful to not feed into the reassurance seeking loop, but what I can say is that I'm alive and able to live a full life. I'm not disabled - far from it. That's what should matter to other people. And whether you have EDS, MS, lupus, or something else, the mind-body connection still plays some sort of a role in your daily life, your disease, and everything else.

    I also strongly believe that everyone has to come to terms with the fact that - should you live long enough - you will eventually be diagnosed with some sort of a permanent condition. Some longevity specialists and scientists are debating whether aging itself should be considered a disease. I wouldn't fear Ehlers-Danlos so much, especially since you've said yourself that you have gone long periods of time feeling great. My recommendation is to instead focus on your happiness, daily emotions, etc.
    Zmago likes this.
  18. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    If your doctor is pressuring you to do something that you are questioning or believe is inappropriate, I would find another eye doctor you trust. I'm sorry you've had that experience. Routine eye visits are necessary and can reassure you that everything is OK with your corneas if that's a concern.

    It's true that the mind-body connection can cause dry eyes, but it's also true that dry eyes shouldn't be completely ignored. This is where a healthy balance must be struck if someone is indeed dealing with mind-body symptoms. Now, it's important to note that I'm not a medical professional or anyone other than myself, and I can't tell anybody whether TMS work, eye drops, surgery, etc. is needed in cases outside of my own.

    I can only speak from my own experience, and I can say that I have experienced extremely dry eyes when stressed out. I was relieved of this problem when I relaxed.

    It's worth noting that I've always been upfront with my doctors about the mind-body connection as well. I don't go into an extreme amount of detail, but I'll just say something along the lines of, "I suspect that stress has played a role in this symptom." This has encouraged a positive dialog between my providers and me.
  19. Electrik Dreamz

    Electrik Dreamz Newcomer

    Question so we are not allowed to have emotions then isn’t that part of being human so I go through Ehlers-Danlos complex and severe case of all the structural issues and commorbids

    but how do I not have emotions in order to heal this — what about when loved ones die or just the emotions of having extreme conditions and just emotions in general about life isn’t emotions part of being human so how can we not have emotions in order to heal ? Just trying to understand this part
  20. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    Beware Electrik Dreamz !
    According to Dr. John Sarno TMS pain (and equivalent symptoms) is the consequence of UNFELT EMOTIONS (mainly rage and guilt) deep buried in our subconscious.
    Felt emotions (feelings) are not the problem .... but the solution!
    The "cure" for persistent/repetitive TMS pain comes from getting our not obvious, repressed emotions, from FEELING our menacing, unbearable, unacceptable, "dangerous" emotions. For example, RAGE against our newborn baby --because responsabilities, duties and compromises that we accept-- .... but also JOY for the death of our tyrannical, very old, ill, despotic mother/father.
    Both, rage and joy, produces guilt. So, the TMS pain is the perfect "smokescreen" that our protective brain offers us, without our permision, as "distraction".
    Just my two cents, of course.

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