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Being OK with Anger?

Discussion in 'Alan Gordon TMS Recovery Program' started by Freedom, Dec 4, 2016.

  1. Freedom

    Freedom Peer Supporter

    So one of the ideas in TMS is to not repress the rage/anger. I just listened to Alan Gordon talking about it in the session with Dustin. I have to say I was pretty shocked how he has the client in detail describe what they wanted to do. I felt uncomfortable listening to it. The thought I had was "if someone else heard me listening to this, they'd think I was crazy." How do you normalize this (the anger) so you feel ok with expressing it to yourself?
     
    Penny2007 likes this.
  2. Andy B

    Andy B Beloved Grand Eagle

    I think you start by saying less "surprising" things at first. Start slow, and sense into your body. Now that you have a template of what can be said (from Gordon's session), experiment as you feel the juices starting to flow, as your anger increases. The main impediment is the superego, which may need to be disengaged from in order to feel empowered enough to feel the anger and use the words which this anger might like to use. Remember, the pillow, or image of the "other" is just an image, or pillow. You can't hurt anyone with this work. It does help to have a guide, especially at first, because the guide will make suggested statements which nail down the feelings, which you may be to "shy" to say! Enjoy!!
     
  3. Freedom

    Freedom Peer Supporter

    Does the anger have to actually be voiced out loud? Is it less impactful if you have the thought?

    I am reading Steven Ozanich's "The Great Pain Deception." What I don't understand is how he could have had a situation where he was so pissed at the doctors but it got repressed? It seems to me like the anger is so obvious but I think I'm missing a nuanced point about repression and anger.
     
  4. Andy B

    Andy B Beloved Grand Eagle

    It helps to express it out loud. Anger is felt as energy, aliveness, heat, in the body. If it is only "thought" there tends to be less access, especially as you first learn to explore it.

    The "reservoir of rage" that Dr. Sarno refers to, that we all have, is deep. It is so threatening to our identity that it is not easily accessible. The repression is implicit and automatic. Steve might have been aware of resentment, strategizing to get his needs met, ---all kinds of thoughts and feelings which kept him a little on the surface. That is how we are built.

    Your good intention to feel your anger, rage is important. Dr. Sarno instructs to "use your imagination to ascertain what your Inner Child probably feels." ---paraphrased

    This process for you will simply be a process. You have your good intentions and some practices, and then there is only the effort to engage, and be patient. The results will come.

    In my view, the act of asking what is going on down deep, turning yourself in this direction, genuinely wanting to know ---this action has good results. You are sending a signal that the feelings are more free to become conscious. Which means there is less need for repression, meaning less need for symptoms.
     
  5. kieran

    kieran Newcomer

    I have just this moment listened to the same thing. Wow!! For many years I have felt guilty about fantasising about how I wanted to slap and kill my now deceased mother for how she beat me as a child. I loved my parents but they were tired working people who had had too many children and didn´t have the resources, money or level of emotional intelligence necessary to love me in an open and demonstrative way. So I suffered terribly as an innocent child. I have struggled with the guilt I have felt in fantasies where I have wanted to step in between myself as a child and my mother beating me and simply kill her with a few good slaps. Now, I have listened to this I feel quite simply liberated, I am free to fantasise, in fact it´s good for me!! So I´m going out, I´m going to walk in the park, I´m going to verbalise and I´m going to kill both my parents (they're both dead already) and I´m probably going to burn the Vatican down while I´m at it for what they have done to me (and are still trying to do) because of my sexuality. Thank you Alan Gordon.
     
    honey badger likes this.
  6. Andy B

    Andy B Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi kieran
    I am so happy you feel the liberation of allowing anger! Bravo. We aren't killing anyone, but we are confronting the experiences and messages in our mind, challenging the way we respond typically, or responded in the past. This is powerful and needed!
    Andy B
     
    kieran likes this.
  7. honey badger

    honey badger Peer Supporter

    [QUOTE="kieran, post: 76230, member: 5217"(...) I´m going to kill both my parents (they're both dead already) and I´m probably going to burn the Vatican down while I´m at it for what they have done to me (and are still trying to do) because of my sexuality. Thank you Alan Gordon.[/QUOTE]

    Kieran, I feel like you're speaking my truths, truths that I don't allow myself to say out of guilt. I particularly connected with the Vatican sentence, even though at first it made me gasp, but mainly because I think it too but I've been fearful or guilty about facing my truth about the role of religion in my life, which was unfortunately very hurtful in my case. You've inspired me to be able to admit some of these truths, if to no one else, then at the very least to myself. Thank you.
     

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