Why am I still in pain? Why doesn't it work?

I wonder if you are holding onto guilt?
The let go of it poem sums it all up, fancy you knowing that already.
Thank you for posting it.
 
James59 said:
I've bookmarked this thread and I have read it through a few times. It seems to have a ring of truth, especially in light of something that came to me several years ago.

Back in 2009, about 6-8 months after I had to quit working, I was studying A Course In Miracles looking for a metaphysical solution to my pain. One night in quiet contemplation the following flowed into my consciousness word for word as follows:

"Let go of it.
Let go of everything.
You will not lose anything.
But you will no longer be responsible for it.
God will be, and always was."

Yet here I am 6 years later and I still can't let go. In fact I'm grasping tighter than ever. My body is more rigid than ever. Apparently, if this thread is true, long before I ever heard of TMS I had the instructions to solve my problem, but I still don't know how to apply it. But since I discovered TMS two years ago I've wondered if the instructions above need to somehow be applied to my subconscious mind rather than my conscious thoughts. I just don't know, much less know how.

I may have a clue, though. Until recently I had a very difficult time settling into bed comfortably. I have found that if I just let myself rest however I fall into bed even if the position does not at first feel right, I can get comfortable faster than if I try to find a comfortable position before I relax. But I still have no idea how to apply that to physical activity, which gets me tied up into knots.
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Hi James,

I can really relate to what you write. I feel I learned everything I needed to know to live a happy, peaceful, pain-free life when I first studied the Course in Miracles. It was all there. However, this was over 30 years ago, and I wasn't able to apply what I learned to my life in any kind of consistent way, and went on to develop TMS and struggle with it for decades.

What I find helpful now, is to view all these thoughts and behaviors that are the opposite of letting go (rumination, worry, anxiety, judgement, attachment, etc) as habits. Like any bad habit, such as over-eating or nail biting, etc, we know consciously that it is not good for us, but the learned neural pathways that turn a behavior into a habit are very strong and difficult to change. It takes awareness and then consistent repetition of a new behavior to overcome these old habits. Every time we stop ourselves from indulging in those old ways of thinking, is a step in the right direction toward letting go, and the freedom that can be found there. It's a daily struggle for me, but hopefully it will get easier and more automatic over time.
 
Tattvasami, you sound like a grand master rather than a new member. You are very wise. I first heard about Dr Sarno on April 8th this year and threw myself into journalling for about 7 weeks. My 'inner voice' told me I then had to take a break from searching for the exact reasons for tms and instead focus on relaxing, meditating, loving myself and loving life. I recognized I was trying to perfect journalling. Now my inner voice has lead me back to journalling again. I started Dr Schubiner's 4 week program yesterday and it is good.
Namaste.
 
tattvamasi said:
There is a general misconception about TMS that is the reason why people are having trouble and are on this forum, searching for help. I am trying my best to explain things so that hopefully, some of you can see the error in your thinking.

Dr. Sarno discovered that people who are prone to TMS tend to have certain personality traits. These traits include being perfectionistic, worrying, trying to control things, putting pressure on yourself to succeed, being good to other people instead of being real, etc. The general feeling of someone with those personality characteristics is of someone who is in constant stress and worry. You probably are someone who just can't relax, can't let it go. You are always searching for answers, you just can't let things be as they are. You want control over life and over yourself. EFFORT is what defines you. I would also call this the "no pain, no gain" personality. It's the constant self-imposed pressure that you put on yourself. You actually are tense all over, it's not just pain that you have. But as your belief system dictates to you, "no pain no gain", so you believe that in order to accomplish things, you HAVE to be this way.

This constant self-imposed pressure produces unconscious rage, as Dr. Sarno has discovered. If you think of it only in terms of anger, you are slightly misguided. What is meant by the rage is just massive emotional energy, anger, sadness, everything mixed together. People make up labels and then say that this is anger, this is sadness. But feelings are more like a spectrum of energy. It does not really matter where you put anger or where you put sadness on that spectrum, it's basically all the same energy and "anger" and "sadness" are just labels. And when you put pressure on yourself, you are generating LOTS of that emotional energy internally. This energy, when expressed, can cause lots of trouble. You might start to cry, get angry at someone, you might even want to beat someone up or beat yourself up. Anyway, the possibility exists that this emotional energy could cause trouble.

Now, here is where you lock yourself into TMS pain. First you put pressure on yourself, which creates unconscious rage. The rage needs to be repressed, so your brain creates some symptom, like back pain, in order to distract you. It creates something for you to focus on, so that you won't experience your rage. Due to your personality, you not only are distracted for the time that it is needed for you to be distracted, but you get HOOKED on the pain. You are perfectionistic, so you can not allow yourself to have pain, because pain is not part of you being perfect. So you start fighting it with all you've got. The problem is that you are always fighting. First you worry about some things in your life, you try to fight them, you try to control them. Then you get pain and you start fighting the pain. Some people get so deep that their whole life revolves around pain. EVERYTHING they do is in some way related to the pain. This is the worst case scenario of being completely hooked.

So, by trying to get rid of the pain, first you probably go the usual route. You go to doctors and you try to do everything to get rid of the pain. Then you realize it's not helping and you find out about TMS. So far, so good. But then you learn about TMS and you continue trying to solve things with your fight-fight-fight attitude. What is the message of Dr. Sarno? If anything, it is to realize that there is nothing wrong with your body, the pain is due to psychological processes, so stop fighting it and it will go away. But you don't get the message, because it is incompatible with your mindset. Your mindset dictates that everything in life can only be accomplished by effort. No pain, no gain. So you can't possibly understand the message which tells you to go the other way, to let go of the obsession. Instead, you get the typical message from Dr. Sarno that you must do this and do that. You get the message that you need to think about the rage and the reasons for it every minute, every second of your day. And that is exactly what is still keeping you in pain.

So I hope I inspired some of you to take a look at your thinking processes and hopefully start to see things in a new light.
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This was a excellent right up and I feel dead on I would like to hear from somebody else regarding this post
 
Amen, amen, amen. This is so true and I needed this reminder today. I haven't been on this forum since last year and since then I have delved into other things that all have the mind as the route of the problem. I am now able to relax my body at will by calming my mind. I am even taking a practitioners training program in which one of the philiosophies is, emotions are all just energy and no different from each other. I should add that I have gotten rid of all but minor discomfort in doing so ( it was incapacitating 3 years ago), but have had something bothersome since yesterday. I had to go on antibiotics 2 days ago and have been internet researching prebiotics, debating upping my probiotics, etc, etc so ibs doesn't return. Boy did I need to read this again because I was just telling someone yesterday morning that my pain started melting away quickly when I was able to stop focusing on it and fighting it. Thank you Boston Redsox. You are a Grand Eagle.
 
A huge thank you tattmavasi. You have certainly turned on the lightbulb for me. Your post has described me to a t. I have been told several times by two different therapists that I 'try too hard' also by my husband who observers me closely. I get scared that if I stop trying I will get worse and this thought alone keeps me trying all combinations to try and find the right mix.
I make myself walk two miles every morning whatever the weather be it howling winds and rain or very high temp and humidity because I know my body needs to move. I also walk in the afternoon even if I am tired. I just feel I have to keep going.
I will try to 'let go' but just note what I have written 'I will TRY to let go. I have never ever let go of anything all my life, always pushing forward come what may.
Again, many, many thanks for enlightening me and helping me to see this is a new way for me to look at my life.
 
Abbo said:
A huge thank you tattmavasi. You have certainly turned on the lightbulb for me. Your post has described me to a t. I have been told several times by two different therapists that I 'try too hard' also by my husband who observers me closely. I get scared that if I stop trying I will get worse and this thought alone keeps me trying all combinations to try and find the right mix.
I make myself walk two miles every morning whatever the weather be it howling winds and rain or very high temp and humidity because I know my body needs to move. I also walk in the afternoon even if I am tired. I just feel I have to keep going.
I will try to 'let go' but just note what I have written 'I will TRY to let go. I have never ever let go of anything all my life, always pushing forward come what may.
Again, many, many thanks for enlightening me and helping me to see this is a new way for me to look at my life.
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Letting go, acceptance, floating (like a balloon we have let go of), and my personal favourite, surrender, all describe at their heart relaxation. This is why I speak of a feminine, yin approach to healing which is in stark contrast to pushing through, fighting, challenging and other yang approaches.

In essence the fighting-talk is the self-same language used by allopathic doctors. We wage a war on cancer, battle disease, follow doctors orders and heaven help us, even in TMS protocol we are apparently dealing with defense mechanisms! The exact same perspective, the exact same lens of perception...and people wonder why they go nowhere.

Enough.

More anon.
 
Plum, I'm intrigued by what you said, especially, "]This is why I speak of a feminine, yin approach to healing[/QUOTE] Do you speak more of this feminine yin approach somewhere else on this forum?
 
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EileenS said:
Plum, I'm intrigued by what you said, especially, "]This is why I speak of a feminine, yin approach to healing
Click to expand...
Do you speak more of this feminine yin approach somewhere else on this forum?[/QUOTE]

I would also like to hear more!
 
@EileenS and @Mad (I appreciate the irony of your username my dear), I am crafting something at the moment that will embrace the feminine. If you like I can give you both a friendly nudge when it's up.

Much love,

Plum x
 
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tattvamasi said:
There is a general misconception about TMS that is the reason why people are having trouble and are on this forum, searching for help. I am trying my best to explain things so that hopefully, some of you can see the error in your thinking.

Dr. Sarno discovered that people who are prone to TMS tend to have certain personality traits. These traits include being perfectionistic, worrying, trying to control things, putting pressure on yourself to succeed, being good to other people instead of being real, etc. The general feeling of someone with those personality characteristics is of someone who is in constant stress and worry. You probably are someone who just can't relax, can't let it go. You are always searching for answers, you just can't let things be as they are. You want control over life and over yourself. EFFORT is what defines you. I would also call this the "no pain, no gain" personality. It's the constant self-imposed pressure that you put on yourself. You actually are tense all over, it's not just pain that you have. But as your belief system dictates to you, "no pain no gain", so you believe that in order to accomplish things, you HAVE to be this way.

This constant self-imposed pressure produces unconscious rage, as Dr. Sarno has discovered. If you think of it only in terms of anger, you are slightly misguided. What is meant by the rage is just massive emotional energy, anger, sadness, everything mixed together. People make up labels and then say that this is anger, this is sadness. But feelings are more like a spectrum of energy. It does not really matter where you put anger or where you put sadness on that spectrum, it's basically all the same energy and "anger" and "sadness" are just labels. And when you put pressure on yourself, you are generating LOTS of that emotional energy internally. This energy, when expressed, can cause lots of trouble. You might start to cry, get angry at someone, you might even want to beat someone up or beat yourself up. Anyway, the possibility exists that this emotional energy could cause trouble.

Now, here is where you lock yourself into TMS pain. First you put pressure on yourself, which creates unconscious rage. The rage needs to be repressed, so your brain creates some symptom, like back pain, in order to distract you. It creates something for you to focus on, so that you won't experience your rage. Due to your personality, you not only are distracted for the time that it is needed for you to be distracted, but you get HOOKED on the pain. You are perfectionistic, so you can not allow yourself to have pain, because pain is not part of you being perfect. So you start fighting it with all you've got. The problem is that you are always fighting. First you worry about some things in your life, you try to fight them, you try to control them. Then you get pain and you start fighting the pain. Some people get so deep that their whole life revolves around pain. EVERYTHING they do is in some way related to the pain. This is the worst case scenario of being completely hooked.

So, by trying to get rid of the pain, first you probably go the usual route. You go to doctors and you try to do everything to get rid of the pain. Then you realize it's not helping and you find out about TMS. So far, so good. But then you learn about TMS and you continue trying to solve things with your fight-fight-fight attitude. What is the message of Dr. Sarno? If anything, it is to realize that there is nothing wrong with your body, the pain is due to psychological processes, so stop fighting it and it will go away. But you don't get the message, because it is incompatible with your mindset. Your mindset dictates that everything in life can only be accomplished by effort. No pain, no gain. So you can't possibly understand the message which tells you to go the other way, to let go of the obsession. Instead, you get the typical message from Dr. Sarno that you must do this and do that. You get the message that you need to think about the rage and the reasons for it every minute, every second of your day. And that is exactly what is still keeping you in pain.

So I hope I inspired some of you to take a look at your thinking processes and hopefully start to see things in a new light.
Click to expand...
What a great write up! Thank you!
 
Tried that to no real success.
Walt Oleksy said:
I also think Tattvanasi has written one of the best explanations of TMS. I'm storing it for future reading.
I agree that constantly thinking about the psychological causes of pain keeps it coming.
I believe in discovering the TMS causes of the pain, accepting that it 100 percent TMS and not structural,
and then go on living in the present... doing and thinking things that make me feel good and happy.
I thank God that He made me a writer. I am always working on a new book, even though it may never
get published or make me a dime. It keeps my mind busy and off of my worries.

And like Ellen I would like to know Tattvanasi's TMS story. I think it helps everyone to know what
were the TMS psychological reasons for someone's pain and what TMS techniques or knowledge healed them.
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What a great topic ! And so true to me.
The fight - fight personality i reconize so well. Also others told me. Letting go is the big issue.
To go with the flow and not ressist .. so diffucult .
The main question for anyone in pain should perhaps not be 'what can i do ' but must become 'what should i stop what i am doing
Hard hard hard
But thank for this great post
Karina
 
Everything here. And This:

"Let go of it.
Let go of everything.
You will not lose anything.
But you will no longer be responsible for it.
God will be, and always was."

In the last few years I have come to be a Pantheist. All is God; us, all energy and matter. We are consciousness in form having experiences.

We are ALL fine. Everything is fine. Always was. I need to paste this into my head when I fret and worry. I am the goodist and often I try SO hard. I read 3 of Sarno's books and Steve O's too and then drove like gangbusters thru the SEP and then realized that wasn't the best approach. Then I worked like mad to make it thru the fall semester. Anxiety and pain went up.

Like another poster said, I need to just chill. Everything is fine and it always was.
 
A verse from a guided meditation by Tara Brach seems most appropriate here and I find on saying it meaningfully over and over my brain does let go and I feel totally relaxed. This is a definite plus for me.

Let go of what has passed.
Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now.
Don't try to figure anything out, don't try to make anything happen,
Just let go, relax and rest.

Another of her quotes is ;
Let life live through you,
Our only intention to be not opposing, not controlling
Just allowing life to be just as it is.

Tara Brach practises Buddhism

Warm wishes to you all.
 
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Hello All,

After doing pretty well for a while, my insomnia and some anxiety / depression have been back with a vengeance over the holidays. Our holidays have been good - nothing obvious is wrong. This thread has been useful to me to reread during this time. I need to just accept things as they are. The insomnia and the racing heart / anxiety are all due to TMS. I actually had minor chest pain in my left side yest yesterday. To my dismay, my doctor insisted I go to an emergency room. After an EKG and blood work, they found nothing. So, like you said above - accept things as they are.

Thank you!
AC45
 
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