Which is the deeper emotion - Rage or Sadness?

[Davideus85]

I am an incredibly reactive guy. When someone does something or something happens that pisses me off, It’s a rather automatic response for me to get angry and feel that anger. But one thing I don’t seem to allow myself to feel is sadness, and the few times I have broken down and cried I have had a temporary but total decrease in my TMS symptoms. I know Dr. Sarno believed that at the root of all unconsciously repressed emotions that lead to TMS, rage was at the center of it all. Not sure if that’s the case for me. If I dig deeper I usually find that anger is just a cover up for my feelings of sadness. Any thoughts?

 

[miffybunny]

Yes, grief is one of the big ones. It's not always rage for everyone. We are all different. Emotions that tend to get repressed the most are rage, grief, and guilt. It's more "acceptable" and less painful to have pain in the body, than give voice to these emotions and actually feel the emotional pain.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I think that for most folks, yes, the rage is a "defense" against helplessness or deeper, sadness. Defense might not be the true term, but the rage is less vulnerable, and easier to tolerate. As we explore, if we can fully acknowledge and feel the rage, sadness is often the next layer to be seen and felt. This can feel bottomless, and like it will never end.

In my personal experience, and observing with many clients, sadness often beautifully reveals a deep tender heart, love, vulnerability, acceptance, true helplessness, self-intimacy, compassion for self and others. I hope you're finding some of these precious qualities too Davideus85. Although sadness and similarly helplessness are still hard for me to tolerate, I have found they offer profound access to my heart, and so I appreciate the doorways which they are.