When rage and repressed emotion doesn’t apply

[Joulegirl]

Bottom line: from my observations over many years, anyone who had a parent with debilitating TMS symptoms has a very high likelihood of ending up with similar symptoms. And although I am not in any way qualified to diagnose any kind of mental health condition, my observations of many years have resulted in a belief that OCD, in particular, is the result of loving but fearful parents who try to control every aspects of their children's lives and experiences. The term "helicopter parent" was created to describe an obsessively over-protective parenting style that became very observable starting, I think, in about the 90s. It's not healthy and it creates extremely fearful children and I think it has resulted in a generation of individuals who suffer excessively from OCD.

Thank you @JanAtheCPA for this insight. I know you were giving advice to @hmb but you basically hit the nail on the hit with my mom's TMS and parenting style, and how I grew up. This is totally me. I'm starting to learn that I'm definitely more fearful than angry (although I know I have repressed anger too.) My OCD is proof of my deep routed fear.

I think that this is something that too many people do not contemplate - or are unwilling to contemplate - but ignoring it creates a significant brick wall against recovery. It's understandable, because if you lay blame for non-action against the parent that you need to see as innocent, what do you have left? It's admittedly pretty bleak. But it doesn't help to ignore what the inner child unconsciously understands, which is that there is no such thing as innocence. To the childish ego, the so-called "innocent" parent should have put the child first, and provided protection and intervention against the dysfunctional parent. The inner child ain't buying anything less.

@JanAtheCPA I've never felt more seen between these two insights from you. Thank you for your work on this forum!

@hmb Definitely start the SEP if you haven't already. I learned a lot about myself during the program and I can't recommend it enough!!!