When is enough, enough?

andy64tms

Well known member
Ever since I can remember I used to fret with anxiety at having to speak in public, even reading out loud in class was a nightmare for me. I suffered this with social silent shame that no one else ever really knew about.

In the late nineties I joined Toastmasters, I had been an immigrant here in the states for 10 years I was out of work and needed to present myself with a better image. I attended Toastmasters for 5 years and improved enough to help with interviews and get a job. I also remember my dysfunctional siblings coerced me into giving two eulogies at my father’s funeral. I remember the stress at father’s funeral that was compounded by the tons of speech preparation that kept me awake for two nights.

I no longer fretted when having to speak in public. I had underlying fear, but had a plan to prepare even at one minute’s notice. One upcoming and future speech did bother me though, the retirement one that I had to give when leaving work for the last time; I dreaded it for some unknown reason.

So my retirement day came unexpectedly and with no ceremony or farewell, I was herded with others and walked off the premises in a massive lay off. No speech!

The moral of my story is: “If you fret enough and prepare enough for long enough for something it may never happen”.
:)
 
That's hilarious and kinda horrifying at the same time, Andy! Thanks for an excellent story and an important lesson, to be sure.

And, I hope you're enjoying your retirement! I'm working on mine...
 
Hi Jan,

Actually the original version of my post was indeed horrifying, for while writing about my father’s funeral I jotted down the following thoughts as a footnote. I edited it out because it did not fit in with my humorous intentions.

Footnote:
Sorry Jan, I had to delete the footnote, I see you have read it. Looking at it a second time it did not appear to be very healing. For others reading it was a nasty comment about my twin brother, and the truth hurts as I am as nasty as he for posting it. Hope you understand.

Jan, retirement is truly wonderful. It took a year for me to acclimatize and realize it was really true! You have no obligations, no boss, and as a CPA I am sure no financial difficulties. In that year I reduced stock market exposure organized Pensions, Medicare and Social Security. I created a monthly budget in Excel that really works. Sheila and I have wrapped everything up in four custom Excel files that need very minor attention.

When I joined the TMS help forum in 2012 I was shocked to find how little I knew about TMS, I had gone 12 years without even reading TMS book. Retirement allowed me to think for the first time in years about myself and who I am. You will love it.
 
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