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what if the mind is too fragile?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by jsabina, Apr 26, 2018.

  1. jsabina

    jsabina New Member

    Hi everyone,
    I guess I will have a lot of questions while going.

    I am sure that I have a lot of psychological distress and trauma which is showing physically and mentally.

    It is always a struggle for myself to keep up and positive and engaged with my life, I usually succeed, have a good job, taking another degree, bought house, go out with dogs etc.
    But had a lot of relapses. Of high anxiety.
    Where I had to convince myself I was strong etc etc

    Now the pain.
    I agree it is part of the psychological stuff..
    But convincing myself that is psychological might be too scary?
    That's why I think I can't make the switch completely.

    I know I should work with a therapist, I tried already for many years and I might try another one.

    But what is the approach if the psychological stuff are "too scary?"
  2. Baseball65

    Baseball65 Beloved Grand Eagle

    The 'stuff' in there is NEVER as scary as it seems. Even Sarno said it was usually an over-reaction by the body to protect us from 'perceived' threats. I have worked with people who have been through insanely hellish stuff... never as scary as the symptoms it is causing.
    Bodhigirl, Lainey and MWsunin12 like this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi jsabina,

    As Baseball says, it is all workable. I would suggest you see your fears around this --lovingly-- as part of the reason you have symptoms. You know your thought tendencies, your fears, you're connecting this to symptoms ---this is the actual road to recovery. So rather than believing you are too fragile, or rejecting yourself for being to fragile, or believing your fragility will prevent you in this approach, use your knowledge of yourself to gently understand more. Your fragility and vulnerability, your attunement to this may be your best way through.

    Andy B
    Lainey and plum like this.
  4. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    You didn’t mention a social life. I learned that is most important to have friends or family around. For me it turned out to be crucial in the healing process to have a social life. It also helped me with my anxiety.
    Lainey likes this.
  5. jsabina

    jsabina New Member

    I haven't read enough to say if the pain is worse than psychological but thanks!!

    Yep didn't mention social life..
    I am living with my sister at the moment.
    I am not native of this country and many of my friends moved back home.
    But I still have some friends and do some activities.
    I admit that since the beginning of this year, when I went into panic mode and started with the pain, I saw less people..
  6. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    If you are convinced that your symptoms are caused by TMS then there is nothing scary about it. I don’t think that there is a hidden monster that causes pain. Usually it is less dramatic, though it can be very unpleasant to look at oneself truly. So, don’t be scared! And let me tell you that most of us are ‘strong’. Other people won’t accept the sort of pressure, abandonment etc. for such a long time as we TMS people tend to do. When I ended my marriage my friends suddenly told me that they always wondered how I could live with this man. Until it came to really dramatic situations I was not able to take care of myself and see the results of my husbands narcissism. From the outside everything looked so well, career, car, success .... So, yes, I was strong. But not really good to myself. I don’t know if this helps you. But if you have TMS and there seems to be good reasons for that, then you have to have a closer look at yourself, but with a kind attitude!
  7. jsabina

    jsabina New Member

    Problem is to convince myself it is tms..
    I am not there yet unfortunately and this is one of the main triggers for my anxiety
  8. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    What does it need that you are convinced? Did you have the necessary check ups? If so, then you have no reason to doubt it. None of us were in the beginning totally free of doubt. Gradually, I understand that this was the correct diagnosis (I am so lucky that I had a doctor confirming it). Maybe the structured program by Alan Gordon would be good for you. It is for free and part of this web site.
  9. jsabina

    jsabina New Member

    I had medical checkups.. but you know medicine and tests cannot always rule out things..
    And yes I think it's more mentally I can't accept yet.
    I know nothing structural wrong, afraid of neurological.
    But tms can give also neurological Signs as I have read in sarno, not only pain.

    I am starting to read Alan program yes, thank you!!
  10. Orion2012

    Orion2012 Well known member

    To resolve traumatic distress, you must face your fears. Let go of the idea that you have been through anything "too scary" to face. Blocking out rather than facing trauma will only cause more symptoms; Repression and avoidance are not viable long term strategies. What you resist, persists.

    Trauma can definitely cause TMS. Educate yourself about both TMS and trauma. Knowledge cures! Maybe find a therapist you feel comfortable with if you don't want to go it alone.
  11. joshcm

    joshcm Peer Supporter

    Your right - the mind is too fragile. But by showing you how fragile it is, its also showing you how powerful it is. If your mind can do the things to your body that you are experiencing now, what can it do when it's working perfectly?

    The wound is where the light enters you - Rumi
    Last edited: May 11, 2018
    Lainey, colls100 and plum like this.
  12. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    You know, I really understand the TOO SCARY part. Sometimes the anxiety and fear, mixed with anger or sadness, feel so toxic it's almost understandable why one might prefer a migraine or backache. Not too much pain, but... the emotions are sometimes so VAST. I am a therapist, and have walked many people through meeting their feelings. Never met a feeling that couldn't be felt. Have met a million who said they were too scary to be felt without the fear that the subject would be killed or go completely mad if the feelings were allowed.
    Have been surfing a lot of anxiety lately. Since the 2016 election I have struggled with surges of doom. I take all the right actions to keep myself afloat and healthy yet there is a swell of terror that usually visits around 5AM and says, "We are going to hell in a handbasket and there's nothing you can do about it."
    So, yeah, too scary is what the ego says when it's threatened with overwhelm.
    I have been feeling feelings for over 30 years and none have ended me, so far. Hope that is helpful? The acronym for HOPE is hold on, pain ends. The best news I ever heard: no feeling is permanent. If we don't get a big story going around it, most feelings have a life of around 90 seconds!
    I can breathe through anything for 90 seconds. Hope you can, as well!

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