how did you eliminate TMS for good?
Hey Jules -
The answer is, I didn't. And I don't think anyone else has, either. I frequently say that the mechanism that we conveniently call TMS is a normal function of our fearful brains - but it's one that is really poorly-suited to our lives in the modern world, and in some of us, it just goes into overdrive. Although "some" is starting to look like an understatement lately...
TMS is also really complicated. In my own experience, I think that the TMS mechanism is definitely tied to old childhood emotions, and it's also definitely the result of repressed emotions - but both of these things can be really old, or they can be brand-new, as well as from every time of your life in-between. Not only that, the emotions involved can range from very traumatic to extremely minor.
The symptoms I have these days are quite minor compared to the shape I was in during 2011. If I could point to one thing that is the key difference, it is that I no longer fear symptoms. I don't always automatically think "TMS", but I always get there, usually pretty quickly.
My first tool to combat a flare-up is journaling - free-writing, for the most part. This requires being willing to look at every single little thought that comes up - not letting my brain convince me that I "don't need to write THAT down". I'm amazed at the little things that come up, and at how I've been repressing them - it turns out that our brains really are not at all mature.
The second tool is something I'm not great at - which is mindfulness, and especially any kind of formal meditation. Ugh. If I can pause at whatever I'm doing and simply breathe without thought, and with total muscle relaxation for a whole two minutes, it's a miracle, I tell you. I KNOW that it helps. But my brain is literally fighting against me - it does NOT want me to let go of the constant rumination, or of the various types of physical clenching I engage in.
Do I still use "crutches"? Sure I do. Not physical ones - I threw away my orthotics and special pillows and never regretted that. But if I'm having a really bad day, often due to brain fog along with a hint of a headache, I'll take a Tylenol. Just one. It's been shown that OTC pain relievers can relieve psychic pain as well as physical pain.
Back in the bad-old-pre-Sarno days, I had what I called "5-ibuprofen" headaches, but those are totally gone. These days I have an arm pain that comes and goes, which I don't believe is anything other than TMS, but there are days when I put arnica gel on it, because it's soothing and I want to be soothed and I know that's why I'm doing it. I don't consider this to be a big deal. My chronic neck pain with the disabling muscle spasms is totally gone. Recently I've been having some digestive discomfort that not only comes and goes, but is completely different on different days, so I know it's just TMS, and I have recently become much more mindful about relaxing and breathing, which totally helps, even in the moment. The digestive problems back in 2011 that were causing me to lose weight rapidly and to restrict my diet are gone.
I also like to see my favorite PT every three months for a tune-up. It may offer me nothing more than the "laying on of hands" and the fact that someone sees me semi-regularly and can assure me that I seem to be in fine shape. He practices "strain-counterstrain" and starts by having me stand and do a few movements so he can see where I'm tight or off-balance, then he does his thing and sends me on my way. We're not concentrating on anything in particular and he doesn't give me any exercises. Is this "against" Dr. Sarno? Maybe, but I don't care. I like it. I think bodywork is a good thing because I still hold my anxiety physically, so it's nice to have someone get in there and loosen things up, especially at my age. I prefer this to massage.
Bottom line: as far as I'm concerned, doing TMS work is extremely individual, and nothing is written in stone.
There are some things which I do believe are essential:
1. You have got to get control over your fear and anxiety. These are the main things your brain creates in order to keep you distracted. Symptoms come and go, but fear and anxiety are the constant companions - so much so that it's easy to think that they belong in your head. In what for most of us is a very safe world, they do NOT.
2. You have got to be honest enough with yourself to do the vital emotional work.
3. You have to find a way to make some form of mindfulness become part of your reaction to symptoms. Even if it's just breathing and forcing your muscles to relax.
4. Don't get sucked into the trap of perfectionism where this work is concerned. There simply is NO single way to do it. Some people can't handle that, but I think that's the good news.
5. Trust yourself, and above all, love yourself enough that you give yourself permission to heal.
~Jan
