Jules
Well known member
So, I have been working with a lot of emotions lately and trying to move toward the pain and not being afraid of it, which is easier said than done. I am doing better with the arm and shoulder pain, and canal raise my arm up over my head, but it still hurts to put it behind. It does still pop, but the pain is either minimal or it's not there, because I stopped being afraid of it. I also have my affirmations I say daily. One thing I was a little concerned about was my daughter-in-law and son's baby that was due last week. Everything went well, and she was born last Wednesday, and is doing well. I was able to calm myself and not worry about her being induced and having the baby. It was a trigger for me, because when I was induced with my son, we ended up in emergency C-section because the cord wrapped around his head. I was very close to losing him. Now that that stress is out of the way, I feel it's time for me to move forward with my life.
At this point, there is one thing I think that is holding me back from completely healing and that is getting out of my house and getting a job. Since all my kids are gone and I am alone at home, me and my therapist figured out the one thing I'm afraid of is getting a full-time job, after being in the home for 22 years, and how I would react to being in a job environment where I am needed and expected to complete tasks.
I did have an interview yesterday, and the pain ratcheted up, but when I told it to calm down and that it was OK, the anxiety flared, which is very typical of TMS. I think I did very well at the interview and even the interviewer said I did great, so I have high hopes. My therapist told me to look at pain, as not a symptom of something, but an emotion that is trapped in the body. I tend to agree with her, because the two biggest emotions I have are that of fear and anger. Fear right now is if I do get a job, there is no going back and I have to be at the job and I have to perform, whether I'm in pain or not. This is very difficult for me, but I feel it has to be done.
I feel I am starting to get there, but the pain is pretty much still stuck in my shoulder. To really bring an analogy home, my therapist thought that my stuck shoulder was parallel to my fear of being stuck in the home and not being able to move forward. I feel that when I do get a job, my shoulder will stop being stuck, because I will have faced the fear and conquered it. Of course, if I have more repressed emotions, the pain will move to some other part. But, I think right now my main issue is trying to decondition the brain to srop using pain as the distraction.
Have any of you had this type of situation and had it resolve once you faced the fear?
At this point, there is one thing I think that is holding me back from completely healing and that is getting out of my house and getting a job. Since all my kids are gone and I am alone at home, me and my therapist figured out the one thing I'm afraid of is getting a full-time job, after being in the home for 22 years, and how I would react to being in a job environment where I am needed and expected to complete tasks.
I did have an interview yesterday, and the pain ratcheted up, but when I told it to calm down and that it was OK, the anxiety flared, which is very typical of TMS. I think I did very well at the interview and even the interviewer said I did great, so I have high hopes. My therapist told me to look at pain, as not a symptom of something, but an emotion that is trapped in the body. I tend to agree with her, because the two biggest emotions I have are that of fear and anger. Fear right now is if I do get a job, there is no going back and I have to be at the job and I have to perform, whether I'm in pain or not. This is very difficult for me, but I feel it has to be done.
I feel I am starting to get there, but the pain is pretty much still stuck in my shoulder. To really bring an analogy home, my therapist thought that my stuck shoulder was parallel to my fear of being stuck in the home and not being able to move forward. I feel that when I do get a job, my shoulder will stop being stuck, because I will have faced the fear and conquered it. Of course, if I have more repressed emotions, the pain will move to some other part. But, I think right now my main issue is trying to decondition the brain to srop using pain as the distraction.
Have any of you had this type of situation and had it resolve once you faced the fear?
