Dexy
Peer Supporter
I wanted to let you all know that I have had a major turning point in the last few days. I can really feel that I am getting this on a level deeper than I have in the past few years, and I am truly able to not fear the symptoms, more and more and more. It feels so very empowering!
The biggest realization I have had is that whenever I feel the pain, I do not wish that the pain would go away, I indeed think psychological and know that it's NOT the physical pain, it's my obsession with it! Whenever I think, "I'm obsessing", it somehow calms me down, and I feel like I am in my power because I know it's not my body, it's my brain's tendency to obsess. It has been really helpful, and I don't know how to quite articulate it, but I definitely feel that I have "turned a corner" in the past few days! I couldn't confidently say this in the past three years since I have found the TMS diagnosis---I realize I was still fearing the pain on a subconscious level even though I was telling myself not to and I believed in my thinking brain that it wasn't physical, there was still some underlying fear. I believe it was my brain's way of getting my attention until I figured out what the issue was that I needed to work on--OBSESSION! I don't need to get rid of the physical pain, I need to continue working on not obsessing.
I have hope and I feel really good about this, and it's less of a "hold on for dear life lest this slip away" that I had in the past when my pain would be less, but now understanding how to really deal so that I don't need to hold on for dear life and be afraid of my own reactions when the pain returns. I now have good control of my own reactions to the pain and this has made all the difference! I wanted to share in case this was helpful to any of you.
The biggest realization I have had is that whenever I feel the pain, I do not wish that the pain would go away, I indeed think psychological and know that it's NOT the physical pain, it's my obsession with it! Whenever I think, "I'm obsessing", it somehow calms me down, and I feel like I am in my power because I know it's not my body, it's my brain's tendency to obsess. It has been really helpful, and I don't know how to quite articulate it, but I definitely feel that I have "turned a corner" in the past few days! I couldn't confidently say this in the past three years since I have found the TMS diagnosis---I realize I was still fearing the pain on a subconscious level even though I was telling myself not to and I believed in my thinking brain that it wasn't physical, there was still some underlying fear. I believe it was my brain's way of getting my attention until I figured out what the issue was that I needed to work on--OBSESSION! I don't need to get rid of the physical pain, I need to continue working on not obsessing.
I have hope and I feel really good about this, and it's less of a "hold on for dear life lest this slip away" that I had in the past when my pain would be less, but now understanding how to really deal so that I don't need to hold on for dear life and be afraid of my own reactions when the pain returns. I now have good control of my own reactions to the pain and this has made all the difference! I wanted to share in case this was helpful to any of you.