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Turning Point!

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Dexy, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. Dexy

    Dexy Peer Supporter

    I wanted to let you all know that I have had a major turning point in the last few days. I can really feel that I am getting this on a level deeper than I have in the past few years, and I am truly able to not fear the symptoms, more and more and more. It feels so very empowering!

    The biggest realization I have had is that whenever I feel the pain, I do not wish that the pain would go away, I indeed think psychological and know that it's NOT the physical pain, it's my obsession with it! Whenever I think, "I'm obsessing", it somehow calms me down, and I feel like I am in my power because I know it's not my body, it's my brain's tendency to obsess. It has been really helpful, and I don't know how to quite articulate it, but I definitely feel that I have "turned a corner" in the past few days! I couldn't confidently say this in the past three years since I have found the TMS diagnosis---I realize I was still fearing the pain on a subconscious level even though I was telling myself not to and I believed in my thinking brain that it wasn't physical, there was still some underlying fear. I believe it was my brain's way of getting my attention until I figured out what the issue was that I needed to work on--OBSESSION! I don't need to get rid of the physical pain, I need to continue working on not obsessing.

    I have hope and I feel really good about this, and it's less of a "hold on for dear life lest this slip away" that I had in the past when my pain would be less, but now understanding how to really deal so that I don't need to hold on for dear life and be afraid of my own reactions when the pain returns. I now have good control of my own reactions to the pain and this has made all the difference! I wanted to share in case this was helpful to any of you.
     
    tgirl, mike2014, breakfree and 2 others like this.
  2. breakfree

    breakfree Peer Supporter

    Hi Dexy

    Well done you !! Keep it up

    Did anything , in particular, help you with fear ?

    I really hope one day, I will be where you are now.

    x x
     
  3. allinthemind

    allinthemind Peer Supporter

    Brilliant, how did u realise this and what we're you feeling. Was it like a massive realisation like in the movies and the camera zooms in, I kinda get this sometimes. I am very new to this but I realise to not focus on the pain but rather accept it and be thankful for it as it is a message for you to think about your emotions.
     
  4. Dexy

    Dexy Peer Supporter

    Just all of a sudden, I understood on a deeper level that "the only thing to fear, is fear itself". It just suddenly doesn't scare me like it used to, it's bizarre, and wonderful! It's taken me a good while to get here, (I started applying TMS theory in June 2013), and lots of forward and backwards steps, but this feels really good! Please don't ever give up and keep trusting! I would NEVER have believed for the longest time that any of my symptoms were mind/body and even when I did, looking back (now), I can see I didn't really "get it"...I told myself it wasn't structural but something in me still feared it. Now I don't! Or if I start to, I remind myself to stop obsessing and that's just my personality and somehow now, that works!
     
  5. allinthemind

    allinthemind Peer Supporter

    So what were u fearful of, was it the fear of something serious being wrong with your body??
     
  6. Dexy

    Dexy Peer Supporter

    yes
     

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