Tough day, need encouragement

[Juno]

I am not fortunate to have found a TMS physician in my area but I am convinced after seeing several doctors, a negative CT scan, blood tests and no sign of disease that TMS is what I am experiencing since doctors started recommending meditation and psychotherapy. I am sitting here reading from Dr. Sarno's book soaking up every bit of information I can find and following the TMS treatment plan for the past 2 weeks or so, I wish I had the access to Dr. Sarno and his group lectures and therapists. I am considering looking for a psychotherapist in my area with experience with psychoanalytic theory and psychosomatic disorders (if I can find one). I am hoping I can at least replicate Dr. Sarno's TMS treatment with the resources I can find near me. Doctors are not much help, they still want to medicate me and refer me to PT. So I will have to do without the element of reassurance from a physician. I believe I've beaten TMS in the past, stumbling upon the answer by distracting myself and wanting so desperately to be functional again. That was low back pain, 5 years ago. Now it's in my head and neck. I'm needing to replace "back pain" from the books with "headache" to apply to me. My brain is very sneaky knowing I would not be able to ignore head pain and that it would make me panic like no place else in my body, despite no previous injury.
Today I had a lot of anxiety so, of course, the pain was worse than it's been for a few days and it's getting to me. Little bits of doubt creep in and that makes it worse. But my head CT was clean. There isnt anything wrong. Went to a funeral yesterday. Maybe that's affecting me today.
Are others having to accept the TMS diagnosis without a TMS physician? I have no other choice but to do so. Looking forward to better days, any encouragement is appreciated.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Juno,

If your doctors have cleared you, then you're on the right track, re Sarno's method.

I'm needing to replace "back pain" from the books with "headache" to apply to me.

This seems really important and right on. It is what I always recommend. Will private message you on possible physician help..

Andy B

 

[RichieRich]

@Juno

If I may suggest, before you go the psychotherapist route, opt for the cheaper anxiety counselor option first.

Counselors are far easier to find and make appointments with, and you may find, depending on who you visit with, that they possess a wealth of knowledge on mindfulness and behavioral therapy and can be just as effective as a psychotherapist. I move a lot for work, so I get re-established at each location. From my own experience, the counselors have been very genuine in their approach and have helped me a ton.

If that approach doesn't work, a lot of counselors will have a network of therapists which they can pull a recommendation from.

 

[hippiesabotage]

Hi Juno, I'm on week one of TMS without a TMS psychotherapist or TMS physician. I began the SEP and Recovery Program last week and began journaling two days ago. I began experiencing shifting/increasing/decreasing pain last week even though I didn't change any part of my routine. I attribute the change in pain to learning about TMS. For example, last week my left shoulder hurt. This week, especially this morning, the pain is the worst it has ever been. I can't lift my right arm because my right shoulder hurts. I also have pain in my right ankle. Since the pain began in August, I never had issues with my ankle. I attribute this increased pain to having begun to journal two days ago. I'm pretty sure this is due to extinction bursts. I keep reminding myself that there is nothing structural wrong with me. Last month I saw an orthopedist and completed a month of physical therapy who confirmed that I am healthy and strong. Today has definitely been the most difficult morning so far.

In conclusion, I am having to accept the TMS diagnosis on my own, like you. I found that completing an evidence list has helped me come to terms with the diagnosis, especially. I think now it's a matter of maintaining this belief in spite of the pain increasing. My unconscious mind is trying very hard to make me believe that my symptoms are not caused by unconscious emotions.

I dream lucidly on occasion. When I do, I find that the other characters in my dreams adamantly deny that I am dreaming when I ask them if I am. They want me to believe that my dream is actually reality. I think this is a good example of how hard the brain tries to make us believe that our TMS symptoms are of physical origin.

 

[Juno]

Hi Hippiesabotage, I have been experiencing many of the same things. A lot of the pain changing, but not actually going away. I'm grateful I can sleep again and my appetite returned for the most part. I wrote out an evidence list, like you suggested, and I will remind myself often that it is my brain trying to convince me that something is wrong. I had a good night last night as the pain subsided after 5 pm. It was so very nice. Today it is back, I wrote yesterday about all the things I am afraid and realized how fearful I am of so much but I don't know why.