TMS and fear of orgasm (finally found the courage to share it)

[Dakota]

Hello!
I finally found the courage to share this: from 2015, the year when several traumas happened, I'm scared of having an orgasm. It's something that I shared only with my therapist, it seems part of the TMS box, and then, I never told anybody, because it's really tough. I'm scared to have some issues to my heart, to die...I'm scared of loosing control, of course. I could share a lot of things, but I'd love to know if someone is going through the same thing.
Love
D

 

[miffybunny]

It sounds like there is a fear of intimacy. An orgasm, is just a physical release or expression of an emotion. It's a physical act but the fear beneath it is around intimacy and trust. Trauma causes loss of trust and without trust it's nearly impossible to connect or take any kind of risks in life. This lack of trust stems from the false core belief that there is something fundamentally "flawed" or "broken" about you. The work lies in changing that core belief.

 

[newlearner]

There are people on /ocd with similar thoughts. Still, I am uncertain if this is applicable to you.

 

[Dakota]

There are people on /ocd with similar thoughts. Still, I am uncertain if this is applicable to you.

my therapist told me that it's related to my fear of " movement", just like any other activity that you are going to avoid during TMS

 

[Dakota]

It sounds like there is a fear of intimacy. An orgasm, is just a physical release or expression of an emotion. It's a physical act but the fear beneath it is around intimacy and trust. Trauma causes loss of trust and without trust it's nearly impossible to connect or take any kind of risks in life. This lack of trust stems from the false core belief that there is something fundamentally "flawed" or "broken" about you. The work lies in changing that core belief.

Well, yes my life started with a sexual abuse around 4 y, so it resonates and of course this is something related to my loss. The loss of everything you lost when abused. The reason why to my therapy this seems to be part of TMS comes from the assumption that from 2015 I started to have several health issues that now I know are in the TMS box, and among them, also this fear of orgasm. It's because I think of it as a "movement" that can causes me pain and body problems.