Tired of it all

[jennyc19]

I’m tired of always having to push myself to do things. I feel like I have to constantly talk to myself to get up and get going and continue on. It’s exhausting! I just want to be and not think about it all the time. Does anyone else feel that way?

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 14 years ago and with chronic fatigue about 28 years ago and I now know it’s TMS. I feel like I’m always pushing myself to continue with my normal life. Like go to work, activities with the family, get the housework done, etc. I do everything a “normal “ person would do because I don’t want to miss out but I’m tired of always pushing. I don’t want to think about pushing and making myself do this stuff but I can’t help it when I’m constantly reminded by how I feel physically. Pain and fatigue are constantly with me. How can I stop this cycle when it’s so dominant in my thoughts? I need advice.

 

[Balsa11]

Notice if there's a difference when you're not being hard on yourself in terms of how you think. Micropauses to relax tension and tweak your mindset actually don't change activity levels much even with very needed mental rest.

 

[AMarie]

I’m tired of always having to push myself to do things. I feel like I have to constantly talk to myself to get up and get going and continue on. It’s exhausting! I just want to be and not think about it all the time. Does anyone else feel that way?

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 14 years ago and with chronic fatigue about 28 years ago and I now know it’s TMS. I feel like I’m always pushing myself to continue with my normal life. Like go to work, activities with the family, get the housework done, etc. I do everything a “normal “ person would do because I don’t want to miss out but I’m tired of always pushing. I don’t want to think about pushing and making myself do this stuff but I can’t help it when I’m constantly reminded by how I feel physically. Pain and fatigue are constantly with me. How can I stop this cycle when it’s so dominant in my thoughts? I need advice.

I feel EXACTLY the same way. I get through the day — I have a full time job and a three yr old — but it’s a struggle and after I put him to bed I just fall apart and need to get in bed. My body and brain just can’t do it anymore.
I recently started the Gupta Program. I believe in TMS and think that’s what my CFS is but the normal ways of getting over TMS haven been working for me. If you have a similar problem, check it out, maybe it’ll be the thing that heals you. It involves a lot of meditation and steps to address your brain causing negative loops (that’s the simplest way I can describe it). I haven't had immediate luck with it but know I haven’t committed fully to it yet, either, so we’ll see.

 

[Balsa11]

@Andy Bayliss @plum @Dorado @Hillbilly @RogueWave

Sounds like you guys need part time babysitters for the kids? Anything else experience people want to add?

 

[AMarie]

@Andy Bayliss @plum @Dorado @Hillbilly @RogueWave

Sounds like you guys need part time babysitters for the kids? Anything else experience people want to add?

It's near impossible to bring in a babysitter during a global pandemic, though... !
I'm with all of you on this. My CFS is definitely connected to numerous aspects of raising my child. I'm a single parent to a toddler. My fatigue has existed since he was in the womb, where it was easily just a normal part of pregnancy, but who knows? It took so long to recognize it, because I thought I was just tired and stressed from having a baby and a job (which, of course, I was) in the first year, but I've finally now gotten a totally clean bill of health with great numbers on all blood tests, and I know for sure it's not physical, and it has to be TMS. I can feel myself get more tired when he's acting up, or I'm stressed, and it's becoming overwhelming. I'm also dealing with perfectionism in terms of his behavior, what he eats, his TV time, etc. too. I don't think I project that externally, but it's just a part of me and hard to manage.

For me, what I've now recognized, though, is that I'm still ashamed that I got pregnant by accident in the first place. I've been carrying it the whole time, and I can't rid myself of it, because I still believe it was stupid, and it embarrasses me. I know it happens all the time! And I love my son, but it doesn't seem to matter. I can't help but worry what others think or have said, and how I'm perceived to outsiders. I think I really need to get rid of that to get rid of the fatigue.

 

[plum]

It's near impossible to bring in a babysitter during a global pandemic, though... !
I'm with all of you on this. My CFS is definitely connected to numerous aspects of raising my child. I'm a single parent to a toddler. My fatigue has existed since he was in the womb, where it was easily just a normal part of pregnancy, but who knows? It took so long to recognize it, because I thought I was just tired and stressed from having a baby and a job (which, of course, I was) in the first year, but I've finally now gotten a totally clean bill of health with great numbers on all blood tests, and I know for sure it's not physical, and it has to be TMS. I can feel myself get more tired when he's acting up, or I'm stressed, and it's becoming overwhelming. I'm also dealing with perfectionism in terms of his behavior, what he eats, his TV time, etc. too. I don't think I project that externally, but it's just a part of me and hard to manage.

For me, what I've now recognized, though, is that I'm still ashamed that I got pregnant by accident in the first place. I've been carrying it the whole time, and I can't rid myself of it, because I still believe it was stupid, and it embarrasses me. I know it happens all the time! And I love my son, but it doesn't seem to matter. I can't help but worry what others think or have said, and how I'm perceived to outsiders. I think I really need to get rid of that to get rid of the fatigue.

Sweetheart, shame is the most toxic (and redundant) of all emotions. My best and most heartfelt advice is to explore the work of Brené Brown. There are some excellent videos on YouTube (notably her first TED talk). I’m in the middle of a family crisis at the moment (which has its own slew of shame) so I empathise. x

 

[Dorado]

Sweetheart, shame is the most toxic (and redundant) of all emotions. My best and most heartfelt advice is to explore the work of Brené Brown. There are some excellent videos on YouTube (notably her first TED talk). I’m in the middle of a family crisis at the moment (which has its own slew of shame) so I empathise. x

Very wise words. Totally agreed that shame is the most toxic and redundant emotion. We are far harder on ourselves than anyone else - and if anyone else is hard on us to the point that we bask in shame, they do not belong in our lives.

I’ll also check out that TED Talk. And I hope things look up for you as well.

 

[Balsa11]

It's near impossible to bring in a babysitter during a global pandemic, though... !
I'm with all of you on this. My CFS is definitely connected to numerous aspects of raising my child. I'm a single parent to a toddler. My fatigue has existed since he was in the womb, where it was easily just a normal part of pregnancy, but who knows? It took so long to recognize it, because I thought I was just tired and stressed from having a baby and a job (which, of course, I was) in the first year, but I've finally now gotten a totally clean bill of health with great numbers on all blood tests, and I know for sure it's not physical, and it has to be TMS. I can feel myself get more tired when he's acting up, or I'm stressed, and it's becoming overwhelming. I'm also dealing with perfectionism in terms of his behavior, what he eats, his TV time, etc. too. I don't think I project that externally, but it's just a part of me and hard to manage.

For me, what I've now recognized, though, is that I'm still ashamed that I got pregnant by accident in the first place. I've been carrying it the whole time, and I can't rid myself of it, because I still believe it was stupid, and it embarrasses me. I know it happens all the time! And I love my son, but it doesn't seem to matter. I can't help but worry what others think or have said, and how I'm perceived to outsiders. I think I really need to get rid of that to get rid of the fatigue.

Whoops I was a bit too idealistic there, but self-compassion instead of shame helps stop the whole thought spiral more often than not.

 

[Tms_joe]

If you’ve identified that your lifestyle is too much, you must change the lifestyle. Most people will find a way to not buy into that.

If you continue a lifestyle that is not healthy for you, expect your kids to repeat that cycle. Heal yourself instead, and watch your children avoid these issues all together.

 

[plum]

Whoops I was a bit too idealistic there, but self-compassion instead of shame helps stop the whole thought spiral more often than not.

Recognising these tendencies in ourselves is a huge step forward so don’t worry about it at all. I’m still overly idealistic and romantic but I’ve learned to soften my self-criticism around this. It’s better than being a cynic. x

 

[plum]

If you’ve identified that your lifestyle is too much, you must change the lifestyle. Most people will find a way to not buy into that.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

If you continue a lifestyle that is not healthy for you, expect your kids to repeat that cycle. Heal yourself instead, and watch your children avoid these issues all together.

I’m currently dealing with that cycle in myself and my parents. It’s brutal but there is redemption. It can be healed.

 

[Balsa11]

Recognising these tendencies in ourselves is a huge step forward so don’t worry about it at all. I’m still overly idealistic and romantic but I’ve learned to soften my self-criticism around this. It’s better than being a cynic. x

Yep I feel it immediately if I have even a few cynical thoughts. Allergic to it.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Wow! I love reading this discussion. So many wise and loving comments.
Andy