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Tired of it all

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by jennyc19, Jan 23, 2021.

  1. jennyc19

    jennyc19 New Member

    I’m tired of always having to push myself to do things. I feel like I have to constantly talk to myself to get up and get going and continue on. It’s exhausting! I just want to be and not think about it all the time. Does anyone else feel that way?

    I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 14 years ago and with chronic fatigue about 28 years ago and I now know it’s TMS. I feel like I’m always pushing myself to continue with my normal life. Like go to work, activities with the family, get the housework done, etc. I do everything a “normal “ person would do because I don’t want to miss out but I’m tired of always pushing. I don’t want to think about pushing and making myself do this stuff but I can’t help it when I’m constantly reminded by how I feel physically. Pain and fatigue are constantly with me. How can I stop this cycle when it’s so dominant in my thoughts? I need advice.
    zclesa and Balsa11 like this.
  2. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Notice if there's a difference when you're not being hard on yourself in terms of how you think. Micropauses to relax tension and tweak your mindset actually don't change activity levels much even with very needed mental rest.
    plum and jennyc19 like this.
  3. AMarie

    AMarie New Member

    I feel EXACTLY the same way. I get through the day — I have a full time job and a three yr old — but it’s a struggle and after I put him to bed I just fall apart and need to get in bed. My body and brain just can’t do it anymore.
    I recently started the Gupta Program. I believe in TMS and think that’s what my CFS is but the normal ways of getting over TMS haven been working for me. If you have a similar problem, check it out, maybe it’ll be the thing that heals you. It involves a lot of meditation and steps to address your brain causing negative loops (that’s the simplest way I can describe it). I haven't had immediate luck with it but know I haven’t committed fully to it yet, either, so we’ll see.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  4. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

  5. AMarie

    AMarie New Member

    It's near impossible to bring in a babysitter during a global pandemic, though... ! :)
    I'm with all of you on this. My CFS is definitely connected to numerous aspects of raising my child. I'm a single parent to a toddler. My fatigue has existed since he was in the womb, where it was easily just a normal part of pregnancy, but who knows? It took so long to recognize it, because I thought I was just tired and stressed from having a baby and a job (which, of course, I was) in the first year, but I've finally now gotten a totally clean bill of health with great numbers on all blood tests, and I know for sure it's not physical, and it has to be TMS. I can feel myself get more tired when he's acting up, or I'm stressed, and it's becoming overwhelming. I'm also dealing with perfectionism in terms of his behavior, what he eats, his TV time, etc. too. I don't think I project that externally, but it's just a part of me and hard to manage.

    For me, what I've now recognized, though, is that I'm still ashamed that I got pregnant by accident in the first place. I've been carrying it the whole time, and I can't rid myself of it, because I still believe it was stupid, and it embarrasses me. I know it happens all the time! And I love my son, but it doesn't seem to matter. I can't help but worry what others think or have said, and how I'm perceived to outsiders. I think I really need to get rid of that to get rid of the fatigue.
    jennyc19, Balsa11 and plum like this.
  6. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Sweetheart, shame is the most toxic (and redundant) of all emotions. My best and most heartfelt advice is to explore the work of Brené Brown. There are some excellent videos on YouTube (notably her first TED talk). I’m in the middle of a family crisis at the moment (which has its own slew of shame) so I empathise. x
  7. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Very wise words. Totally agreed that shame is the most toxic and redundant emotion. We are far harder on ourselves than anyone else - and if anyone else is hard on us to the point that we bask in shame, they do not belong in our lives.

    I’ll also check out that TED Talk. And I hope things look up for you as well.
    jennyc19, plum and Balsa11 like this.
  8. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Whoops I was a bit too idealistic there, but self-compassion instead of shame helps stop the whole thought spiral more often than not.
    jennyc19 and plum like this.
  9. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    If you’ve identified that your lifestyle is too much, you must change the lifestyle. Most people will find a way to not buy into that.

    If you continue a lifestyle that is not healthy for you, expect your kids to repeat that cycle. Heal yourself instead, and watch your children avoid these issues all together.
    Balsa11 and plum like this.
  10. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Recognising these tendencies in ourselves is a huge step forward so don’t worry about it at all. I’m still overly idealistic and romantic but I’ve learned to soften my self-criticism around this. It’s better than being a cynic. x
  11. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes. Yes. Yes.

    I’m currently dealing with that cycle in myself and my parents. It’s brutal but there is redemption. It can be healed.
    Balsa11 likes this.
  12. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Yep I feel it immediately if I have even a few cynical thoughts. Allergic to it.
  13. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wow! I love reading this discussion. So many wise and loving comments.
    jennyc19 likes this.

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