There's something about February...

birder

birder

Well known member
I'm in a place of frustration, where every symptom seems to be firing at once. So I thought, "Well, maybe I should post about it." Then I took a look at Jules' and Davideus's posts. Oh no! What is it about February that's causing so much difficulty and heartbreak? I can have two good days, then four "bad" ones. By the fourth one I'm feeling like a failure. Today I started a weekly ceramics class, something to distract my mind from my body. It was fun - but it was grueling. I had a hard time getting comfortable, and there was a lot of standing around going over the equipment, which was especially tough for me. The actual clay work was cool. I guess that's a work in progress. I'm also tentatively planning to travel to the East Coast, where I have relatives I haven't seen in four years, and two great-nieces I haven't even met! But as soon as I broached the idea, everyone chimed in with where I should go and when and what I should do and where I should stay. My anxiety went right off the scale, and my inner negative voice said, "This will be too much for you. You can barely get through a two hour ceramics class!" And I think that's why I'm having these symptoms.
So, I have my work cut out for me. Jules and Davideus, hang in there. We've been living in fear so long that it won't be a quick or easy fix. Setbacks are only setbacks. There's something wonderful in our futures if we just keep pushing forward.
 
Oh, how I needed to hear that! Today was a setback, but a huge one. I just get so tired of having major setback’s, instead of two steos forward, one step backwards. The thing is, is that I know that it was stress that flared it up, but it gave me a mini panic attack, to where the rest of the afternoon I was so tired. Yesterday, though, I was more stressed and yet didn’t have a huge flareup. I need, I had pain, but I was able to get my brain to calm it down. However, today, I had to take ibuprofen and icy/ hot just to get it to relax.

I can take pain, but with my muscle spasm, it is so incredibly painful. And yes, it is very hard to take your mind off. I just feel like I am doing so much, and maybe it’s too much for my brain to handle. I just feel like I’m getting worse in some areas, even though other areas are better. Interestingly though, I’ve been getting old pains, I hadn’t felt in years.

Can I just say that I hate PMS, and right now my brain is not my friend. :(
 
Hi Jules and Birder,
Ironically I have had a flare up the last couple of days too. Tonight after reading these posts I remembered something my TMS doctor talked to me at my last visit...The need to sooth myself. I find it hard when I am frustrated (which I really am at the moment). He encouraged me to sooth and comfort myself (my brain) as I would a small child.... talking to myself as I would a small child who is suffering--offer supportive reassurance-- tell my brain that I understand what it is trying to do-- but I don't need it to do that-- I am aware of the emotions that are stressing me out and I don't need pain signals to get my attention.... Hmmmm...... I am going to try this tonight.... Have either of you had success with this approach?
 
iwire said:
Hi Jules and Birder,
Ironically I have had a flare up the last couple of days too. Tonight after reading these posts I remembered something my TMS doctor talked to me at my last visit...The need to sooth myself. I find it hard when I am frustrated (which I really am at the moment). He encouraged me to sooth and comfort myself (my brain) as I would a small child.... talking to myself as I would a small child who is suffering--offer supportive reassurance-- tell my brain that I understand what it is trying to do-- but I don't need it to do that-- I am aware of the emotions that are stressing me out and I don't need pain signals to get my attention.... Hmmmm...... I am going to try this tonight.... Have either of you had success with this approach?
Click to expand...

I did that yesterday and it worked, but today, it didn’t do a thing. Sometimes, it feels very random, when the pain comes on, but a major trigger is and always has been the damn computer. No matter what computer or where, my pain starts up. It’s soooo frustrating. It’s better on my iPad, but something about typing and using my right shoulder with the mouse, is a trigger. Why? I’ve been asking myself that for years.
 
It's awesome that you recognize your triggers. I am still trying to figure that out what my triggers are.
 
Jules said:
I just feel like I’m getting worse in some areas, even though other areas are better. Interestingly though, I’ve been getting old pains, I hadn’t felt in years. :(
Click to expand...
That's EXACTLY what's happening here! I feel like I'm going back in time, or maybe I'm in something like "The Truman Show" called "This Is Your Life: Remember When You Suffered From THIS?" Enough already! There's maybe a two-square-inch patch of me that doesn't hurt. Perhaps I'll get a tattoo there.
Jules, I don't know about you, but most of my triggers are from conditioning. If it hurts once, I'm cautious. If it hurts twice, that's it, it's history. That eliminates a lot of fun activities, like eating turbo nachos, lol.
iwire, I'm going to give soothing a try this very night. Though really I'd rather yell.
 
@birder said: "There's maybe a two-square-inch patch of me that doesn't hurt. Perhaps I'll get a tattoo there."
Haha!! I love that!

My pain is pretty much constantly at a not-so-terrible level, but it's still there, so it's hard to know what my triggers are. It certainly flares up at times, and that's definitely related to increased activity. I think my flare-ups are also from conditioning, too. My body expects it to hurt after I do a certain amount of activity. Just haven't been able to stop that cycle.

Yelling is sometimes good, too.

Good luck to all!
 
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Most of us are usually sick of Winter by about February. It is probably the month I get the most depressed during (Historically.. I am not depressed now). My hands are split open from freezing water, my skin is dry and bleeding, my voice is shot from sleeping with a heater and my guitar is dried out and the fret ends hurt...
That being said, it is a great time to reach out to a friend, work in your Inventory(journal) or plan out what you'd like to do in March when it's going to be Beautiful. Before an arrow can be fired, it must be pulled Back.
If your energy is low, embrace it so it is well rested on the Sunny days ahead.
 
birder said:
I'm in a place of frustration, where every symptom seems to be firing at once. So I thought, "Well, maybe I should post about it." Then I took a look at Jules' and Davideus's posts. Oh no! What is it about February that's causing so much difficulty and heartbreak? I can have two good days, then four "bad" ones. By the fourth one I'm feeling like a failure. Today I started a weekly ceramics class, something to distract my mind from my body. It was fun - but it was grueling. I had a hard time getting comfortable, and there was a lot of standing around going over the equipment, which was especially tough for me. The actual clay work was cool. I guess that's a work in progress. I'm also tentatively planning to travel to the East Coast, where I have relatives I haven't seen in four years, and two great-nieces I haven't even met! But as soon as I broached the idea, everyone chimed in with where I should go and when and what I should do and where I should stay. My anxiety went right off the scale, and my inner negative voice said, "This will be too much for you. You can barely get through a two hour ceramics class!" And I think that's why I'm having these symptoms.
So, I have my work cut out for me. Jules and Davideus, hang in there. We've been living in fear so long that it won't be a quick or easy fix. Setbacks are only setbacks. There's something wonderful in our futures if we just keep pushing forward.
Click to expand...
Healing isn't linear right ?
 
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