Welcome to the thread, Rivergirl17.
It sounds like the process is working great for you if you've got depression and grief coming up. That's good news!
Think about it like this: the depression and grief, among other emotions, are stuck inside, repressed, and therefore causing health problems and a weight on your shoulders that brings you down from how peaceful and content you could feel otherwise. I tend to look at it as if our goal in life is to offload all of the baggage covering up the real us. Those dysfunctioning emotions are part of that baggage. And as they process, you become lighter and your ability to feel increases.
Growing up, we develop ways to repress our uncomfortable emotions. But we're not actually repressing them--we're deadening our ability to feel (or in some cases, people don't repress those emotions, they just let them rule their life with no ability to handle or control them in a healthy way). But most people repress, and this causes us to become apathetic, feeling very little at all. Life becomes very boring and blah. Our mood is generally low and since we're designed to feel things, we long for something intriguing and thrilling to give us some sort of emotional high because that's the only way we can feel something besides the lack of feelings (the low feelings). Why do we do that? Because no one teaches us how to deal with our uncomfortable (dysfunctioning) emotions in a healthy way nor that it can be enjoyable when we do it. So we're stuck with repression or a dramatic life.
What TPP does is first teaches us how to handle our emotions in a healthy way, then takes us through a process to bring them to the surface to be dealt with. The confidence we gain from learning how to deal with emotions makes our subconscious feel safe enough to let the emotions/feeling surface. And the process of blocking out all of our coping mechanisms when we meditate each morning and evening helps the emotions surface, as well.
So if you're seeing the depressed emotions surface, the process is working well for you. But you don't want to look at the emotions as dreadful and like you want them to go away. That's why they got repressed in the first place. You have to embrace them, looking as them like they're little kids whose growth was halted because they didn't get the unconditional love from their parents that they needed to mature, and because they believed some lie/false idea about their self and life. The incorrect belief keeps the emotion dysfunctioning, which keeps the "kid" from maturing into a healthy, peaceful, content adult. Since no one taught our parents how to love us unconditionally, we have to learn to do it and give those parts of ourself the unconditional love they need. We must reparent them, and that includes teaching them the truth about their self and life in order to combat whatever false beliefs they have. An example of a false belief would be that they're bad. Since we are children of God, made in His/Its image, we cannot be bad. We may do hurtful things at times, but that's only because we're here to learn through firsthand experience with shame, pain, suffering, and all kinds of tough things. That's what after-death experiences show us (usually called Near-Death Experiences NDEs, but I think that's often an incorrect term since most people who have NDEs actually die but are resuscitated eventually). We're not in our true form, so it would be a huge misunderstanding if we judged ourself by what we do, feel and think while we're here on earth. But that's what our heart does. We get brainwashed by the ideas of this world like good and bad, right and wrong, guilt, shame, etc. That's a majority of the reason we get the false beliefs. We simply correct those beliefs with our subconscious/heart and it begins to heal and mature, as long as we do so while showing it unconditional love. TPP programs the subconscious with teachings like that through repeating the phrases over and over again each week. (Forgive me, I forget what those phrases are called...affirmative statements or something like that) My subconscious doesn't just believe skmethjnf because I repeat it, though, so I actually have to prove it to my subconscious while its dysfunctioning emotions are surfaced. And it works really well.
You mentioned that you're dealing with grief. That's very good. Grief is where you're trying to get to. It's acceptance. When we repress grief or sadness, we're attempting to not feel them and not accept the loss, or at least not accept the feelings the loss produces. So the fact that you're feeling that loss is great! It means you're finally accepting it. To not accept it is to repress. You're beginning to release the repression by expressing it properly. When you cry as a result, that's the beginning of integration. As long as you have the proper belief worked out for that part of yourself, it'll integrate, eventually.
You also said you're feeling depressed. Depression is repressed anger. When we don't express our anger in a healthy or unhealthy way, it gets caught in us and causing depression.
Think of it like this: you didn't express the anger outwardly, so it turned in on you and beat you up. Once it beats you up enough, you just feel awful and have no energy, so you just feel drained and sad all the time.
Often people are angry at their self but they don't realize it because they believe they get angry because of what others do to them. Someone else is at fault and causing them to get angry, according to their beliefs. But in reality, the anger was already in us, and it was something someone did that triggered the latent anger. The anger is always ours so we must own it and express it in a healthy way and then figure out why we have it.
Anger is a secondary emotion. Fear and grief/sadness are primary emotions. The only reason we get angry is because we fear feeling fear or sadness. We get angry as an attempt to get what we want, to control the way we feel, to keep from feeling the loss of our comfort. But once the anger is expressed, we can get underneath it to see what it is we fear so we can deal with it. Anger isn't good or bad, right or wrong...it's just an indicator that helps us understand something about ourself and the situations we're in. All emotions are for that purpose. But understand that anger is a dysfunctioning emotion. There is a healthy passion with which we can defend our self when needed, and it's not anger. It's the healthy energy that got twisted into anger. When the anger integrates, it turns back into the free-flowing, healthy, passionate energy available to be used to defend one's self and for other things, too.
So, anytime you're feeling depressed, always think, "Oh, that's repressed anger. What am I angry about? And how can I express it in a healthy way so I can get down to the emotions I'm repressing with it and then work with integrating them?
After week 7, my emotions became unrepressed to a strong degree and I was suddenly feeling emotions running all over my body while I watched movies. It was so cool, like giving life a new, fun, exciting dimension.
When you learn to feel again and get all of that emotional baggage offloaded, you end up able to feel even the slightest things. That's great, because peace and contentment are subtle but powerful, and you'll be able to feel those most of the time, eventually.
This process toughens you up when it comes to feeling uncomfortable emotions. You'll start to enjoy them. That's alwaya cool. Just remember that they're no good or bad, but rather just there to help you. Treat them as little kids, and have tons of respect for them. Be thankful for them. And most of all, love them unconditionally, never blaming the for anything.
Hope this helps! Let me know if you have more questions. I had lots of questions the first and second times I did the process.
Good luck!
