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Steve O...........

B

bold_as_love

New Member
............reading your book and man, gotta' say it's outstanding. Well-written with a good mix of humor. But, it has heightened my symptoms fiercely in the past 3 days since I bought it. I know that's a good deal to address the issues, but yesterday I felt like I was swooning all day. My TMS is generally always anxiety and palpitations, ectopic beats, etc.......but since Nov. been in the upper neck/trap region. The good thing is that it's forcing me to look inward and journal (typical perfectionist, super competitive, etc.....) and everything starts to surface. Hard to work, as I feel like lying down most of the time (I am fortunate to work from home in sales) and we've had a new Sales Mgr for about 5 months now. Let's just say I don't care for his work persona and unnecessary changes he's implemented. So yeah.......raging quite a bit. Not looking for any answers per se, just wanted to pass along how much I enjoy the book and how it has brought some things to the surface. Everyone on here should purchase a copy.
 
Hi, Bold as love. Nice name.
Steve offers great healing advice in his book and TMSWiki posts. He emphasizes that our TMS symptoms go back to our childhood days.
Maybe the new sales manager is setting off triggers that relate to your boyhood. Perfectionist parents? Trying to please?

Your pain also may be stronger since you are thinking and journaling about your youth. So your unconscious mind realizes this and
is sending you pain so you discover the repressed emotions.

Few of us get pain-free overnight. I usually takes its own time. But you're definitely doing the right things. It's important not to spend
too much of your day or night on discovering those emotions. Spend more time on happy thoughts and affirmations that you are going to be pain-free and real soon.

Think happy.
 
Thanks for the kind words BoldAsLove, it's fairly common to have a reaction to my book. I've been told about some wild reactions to reading it. Last year I started calling it GPDing. Several dozen folks have contacted me to say that they had adverse reactions to it. Some were gridlocked by the cover and paced around it afraid to pick it up for weeks and months.

The most common is the increase in magnitude in bodily symptoms and anxiety. A few folks said their bodies began to tremble and their pain began to run wild around their body in what seemed like an exorcism. It's similar to that time when my hands swelled while I was reading MOBP. There is an inner truth that we have within us that longs to be connected with the outer Truth. The only thing that stands in the way is the flesh. When confronted with the truth conflict magnifies and the body reacts accordingly.

Several told me that their tinnitus increased while reading my book, others said they lost all concentration and were unable to finish the book, or read anything else. They had suddenly lost all ability to focus. Some felt numbness, others said they cried for the first time they could ever remember. Many got migraines. Some simply had their pain leave and then show up in another place, suddenly.

The words are resonating--truth seeks light to become itself, absence of conflict. When the lid is blown off of the brain's strategy, the body suddenly panics and revolts.

Your swooning is also common. It's rage trying to surface that is met by superego. The result is a volatile composure held together by a thin layer of ego. Your true self wants to say something, express something, but it cannot--dizziness is the effect.

Reduce your anxiety through the techniques, and then begin to view life differently. There can't be any conflict if there's no opposition. Stop fighting and begin to flow.

Good luck, let me know if you have any questions.

Steve
 
Steve,
Reading your book and about half way through. I am blown away. Truly. Yesterday was my day off and I just found a comfy chair (soft and NO back support thingies), my favorite hot beverage and read most of the day, making notes and jotting in my temporary journal. I looked at the clutter in my house which normally drives me nuts and just relaxed with the book. I have to tell you that I too was moved to tears and have been every day for the last few days. I have not cried in quite awhile. So much is rising up within my mind now about my past. Bulimia, obsessions, goodism, not showing anger, body preoccupation. Parents, siblings, my marriage.

There is one thing I want to share. I have a faith and am a Christian. Before this journey into TMS began and when things seemed like they are ok in January and no pain, I finally faced the truth that I was an emotional flatliner, so to speak. I wondered where my empathy, compassion, my joy, wonder, gratefulness, fun and yes, even concern and anger and the negative stuff had gone. I knew something was missing. Then, one morning I prayed to God to have my emotions returned to me. I wanted to FEEL them and I guess I said I would take what He gave me. I asked God for this to happen. Well, what I got that weekend when I rose out of a movie theater seat at our anniversary celebration was a horrendous flare of hip and lower back pain that took my breath away. It was painful to walk or sit or lay down. Before this, I had some stabs of pain going up stairs from a supposed "injury" when I hopped off my bike in the summer (that is another story). But now it hurt all the time, even when I walked. Also appearing was a very angry patch of eczema (which I have never had in my life before this last year). Along with this, I had just right before this kind of "jumped the shark" on a subject I had just spent the last 2 years researching and getting way too serious about (nutrition and my physical health). I read something that just put my perspective on this in a new light and decided to back off, since I kind of knew already what I needed to know about this subject. LOL>

Did I freak out my "Janet from another Planet" as I call my mind, hence the scramble for my mind to try and head off this request of mine to "get emotional" plus the calming down of my extreme interest in my physical health. This pain cannot be a coincidence. That is actually what convinces me that this is TMS.

I am so grateful that I have found all this before I got on the merry-go-round of physicians, chiros, medicines, exercise. I am so grateful I have your book too. Your story was so inspiring.

One Question: These patches of eczema I have. Should I NOT put anything on them like lotions, ointments, etc.? I do have band aids on the most nasty patch on the top of my hand as I might freak out the patrons at the library I work at. Plus I don't think about it if I don't see it. It doesn't itch now, but looks yucky.

Janet
 
Janet from another planet, it appears that you had an SI-shift when you ceased obsessing on the nutritional aspects of health. People often tell me that they suddenly realized that they had been tmsing by worrying about food and nutrition, regarding health. The SI demands attention, if you were laser-focused on nutrition and then stopped, and the psychological conflict still exists, then your brain must shift to something other to obsess on, in order to prevent you from feeling. Remember, thinking and feeling are polar opposites. You can't feel anything if you're thinking, they hinder each other. So thinking can be seen as a coping mechanism inhibiting you from experiencing something.

Most tmsers live in their heads too much... in order to avoid feeling the sting of separation. That's why you became an emotional flatliner. I like that term, I will use it somewhere. My favorite was from a guy who said he cried for the first time when he began to read GPD. He said he could feel his "brain unthawing." The awareness of what is going on is the beginning of transformation. I spent a long time on chapter 2 in order to try to explain the battle of ego and the inner self. We are pretending to be something other, only the symptoms tell us that we're not being ourselves. We practice being something other in our early years (in order to avoid rejection and to avoid shame, by being different), so much so, that we begin to believe that we are the person we're pretending to be. And in the process the Self is lost in a battle for consciousness. The unthawing is the beginning of being born anew--it's an awakening.

You appear to have all the hall-markings for TMS; eating disorder, goodism, obsession, etc. You will heal if you open up to yourself. When you asked God for help, it was given. Ask and it shall be given. All those emotions you've been holding in, under the iron fist of superego, suddenly begin to appear--because you were ready to heal. You will be healed when you can feel compassion, and joy and empathy again, seeing beauty where nothing existed before. It all begins with the Self. You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself somewhere deep within. So as you begin to feel these emotions within yourself you will begin to project them onto other people--since we are the same being. It all begins with forgiveness. When you forgive, you free yourself for life.

I'm interested in this anniversary celebration with movie theater seats? That sounds like a party I want to be invited to. But it also can act as a trigger. The celebration is also a life-milestone that is not always wanted deep within. It may remind you of not being happy in a relationship, or aging, things you wanted to do with your life, etc.

Take care of your excema. It's ok to treat it as long as you keep doing the mental work. Dr. Sarno would not want you to ignore your skin issues. Just know why they exist.

Good luck
Steve
 
So much meat in this thread. Janet, I too love the "emotional flatliner" comment. I have scared myself with how I've regarded some very emotional issues/events with…well, nothing. I love the "Janet from another Planet" moniker too. I'd steal it but "North Star of another galaxy" just doesn't ring the same way. hahaha

Regarding the eczema… I've been perturbed over my on-going skin issues. (I've had psoriasis since I was a teen - a time of tremendous emotional pain.) I decided that when I do use my Rx cream, I apply it with love and compassion. I soothe my inner child and assure her that I know there's still anger and pain but that it's going to get better. It has helped me not to resort to anger. I picture the cream as being a salve to my soul too.

SteveO, maybe you should put "TMS Exorcist" on your business cards. lol
 
Yesterday I re-read Steve's chapters in The Great Pain Deception about what his repressed emotions were
that caused his pain, and it was so powerful and sad. He is truly a marvelous person to have shared such
a personal tragedy with everyone. Now I really understand why he is such a strong advocate of TMS repressed
emotions for healing psychological and physical pain. He went through the Vale of Medical Darkness and came out into
the Sunlight of Dr. Sarno to help others. Thank you again, Steve. We all value your friendship and caring so much.
 
Amen to everything you said, Walt. Steve, you've reached into your deepest pain to offer connection and hope for others. There is no greater gift to a fellow human. Thank you again.
 
Hi Steve,

I also just finished your book and must say that it is truly inspirational. Funny enough this resulted in easing of my original symptoms (body wide fasciculations) but new symptoms kicking in (anxiety, tinnitus). My brain is developing new symptoms to keep me distracted. I still find it very difficult to uncover my subconscious emotions through journalling which is somewhat frustrating. Daily stress is surely an important ingredient but feel that there are more emotions boiling in my subsonscious. Would love to discuss this with a TMS therapist but unfortunately there are no such therapist where I live ( The Netherlands). I will keep (re)reading your fantastic book!

Thanks
 
Hi, Erik.
Journalling takes some practice and patience. I did most of my journalling about my past, especially from childhood.
I discovered enough repressed anger that Steve Ozanich said I had a "Perfect Storm" for TMS. Journalling about the early
years led me to a better understanding about my parents and their divorcing. I began to realize they had a lot of emotions
that caused them to have pain... my father's lower back pain and my mother's migraine headaches. Once I began to put myself in their shoes,
I found forgiveness easy. I think if you're patient in continuing your journalling, you'll discover reasons for your symptoms and heal.

I visited Amsterdam for a weekend in spring when I was in the US Army in Germany. I loved Amsterdam and the tulips which were in bloom then.
 
Hi Walt,

Thanks for that. I will have to go back more in time then to uncover the reasons for my symptoms. Yes Holland and flowers, it still is beautiful especially around this time of the year.
 
North Star said:
So much meat in this thread. Janet, I too love the "emotional flatliner" comment. I have scared myself with how I've regarded some very emotional issues/events with…well, nothing.
Click to expand...
This has been a really big thing for me. When I was a child, my mother's way of addressing anytime I experienced anger, grief, or fear, was to dismiss it by saying, "Don't be silly; it's no big deal." Even now, I'm worried that I don't think that sounds that bad. It's taken me a long time to realize how often I now say exactly the same thing to myself, and how much it contributes to "emotional flatlining." Thanks to Janet for the cool description.
 
Hi, Tarala and Janet, My mother used to dismiss problems that came up in a similar way, saying
"It'll all come out in the wash." (Like any stain on a shirt or blouse). To me and my older
brother sister it meant not to worry about things. That they would pass. And they did.

Today I tell myself the same thing... If a worry comes up, I ask myself what I'm worrying about,
and I usually realize it's not a big thing.

I too like the words "emotional flatlining."
 
Hi Walt, I think it's probably true to say that words convey much less information than intent, tone and emotion do. I think if your mom was a good self-soother, perhaps she communicated and passed this on to you too. After all, most of what I, at least, worry about is in fact no big deal. However I've come to believe that my poor mom was riddled with terror over any emotion that didn't fit the "happy families" picture: anger, fear, sadness, shame, guilt, etc. What she communicated to me, or more precisely what I took in, was that any emotion, hers or anyone else's, that made her uncomfortable was completely unacceptable. I was shamed by being told I was being silly, babyish or ridiculous. This is very different from soothing a child by accepting emotion as real, and then helping them to see that the perception provoking the emotion may not be valid. My mom did say one positive thing that stuck with me though: "In a hundred years who will care?" LOL
 
Steve Ozanich said:
Reduce your anxiety through the techniques, and then begin to view life differently. There can't be any conflict if there's no opposition. Stop fighting and begin to flow.
Click to expand...

The above quote is the best, most succinct description of how to heal TMS that I've seen. Love it.
 
I'm just reading this know. Steve O, you blip about feeling and thinking are different and you can't accomplish one when doing the other is fantastic. You actually made my roadblock today make more sense. I spent my entire time today journaling with the phrase I think. I need to feel. Thank you for that.

Crissy
 
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