Day 2 Some Progress, Some Goals

[ireallywantmylifeback]

My day 2 was completed yesterday, but I am posting it today as I journaled, reflected on lots of things, and fell asleep. Then after waking up I just noticed I had forgotten to post this . Yesterday was my first day of goodnight sleep, needing no muscle relaxers for my “Pelvic floor dysfunction/scrotal pain”, nor sleep medicine, so I would call that progress. I also have been less afraid of the pain and have been feeling less of it each day since I began this program, though I would be lying if I said I am totally fearless.

Although I have known my pain is not due to a serious illness for a while, and I have no structural abnormalities it has still been difficult for me to accept the TMS diagnosis. In part this comes from my scientific background that requires proof for everything. One of the things I have been hung up on TMS is that when Dr. Sarno said the pain is due to mild oxygen deprivation I wonder how this conclusion was reached, since he said it cannot be studied.

Regardless, I am starting to fully embrace I have TMS as every day I get better, I also have started to think about how last year after I totally eliminated my paresthesia I suddenly could not sleep on my mattress and developed a bad back (I was just 23 years old), but I just blamed it on an old mattress I owned since 2008. However, putting the pieces together I now noticed that I always slept on this mattress with no trouble before so why all the sudden was I having back problems that made no sense. This is what has started to get me through my initial skepticism of TMS and understanding that just because the science cannot currently make all of the connections, does not mean it is not true.

I understand those of you who have accepted and embraced the diagnosis understand this is the most important step and if you cannot get over it and tell you brain to do so as well, it is impossible to get better, but as Dr. Sarno himself said, the medical industry has conditioned us trust it and raised us to be skeptical of anything not based on science.

My goal is to continue the structured educational program, today I start psychotherapy as well, and although I wish it could be with a TMS therapist I can barely afford anything else not covered by insurance after all the medical test I have gone through. Knowing that I will get better in the future gives me a lot of joy, but I am more interested now in recovering to help my mother deal with her own fibromyalgia and pain symptoms. Whether she will embrace it or not is not something I can say, but if I as a heavy science-oriented person can do this, I think so can she.

 

[Dayton]

Very cool that you are able to take your science-based background and merge it with these new paradigms of pain origination. I wish you strength and patience on your journey here.

 

[Reme]

My day 2 was completed yesterday, but I am posting it today as I journaled, reflected on lots of things, and fell asleep. Then after waking up I just noticed I had forgotten to post this . Yesterday was my first day of goodnight sleep, needing no muscle relaxers for my “Pelvic floor dysfunction/scrotal pain”, nor sleep medicine, so I would call that progress. I also have been less afraid of the pain and have been feeling less of it each day since I began this program, though I would be lying if I said I am totally fearless.

Although I have known my pain is not due to a serious illness for a while, and I have no structural abnormalities it has still been difficult for me to accept the TMS diagnosis. In part this comes from my scientific background that requires proof for everything. One of the things I have been hung up on TMS is that when Dr. Sarno said the pain is due to mild oxygen deprivation I wonder how this conclusion was reached, since he said it cannot be studied.

Regardless, I am starting to fully embrace I have TMS as every day I get better, I also have started to think about how last year after I totally eliminated my paresthesia I suddenly could not sleep on my mattress and developed a bad back (I was just 23 years old), but I just blamed it on an old mattress I owned since 2008. However, putting the pieces together I now noticed that I always slept on this mattress with no trouble before so why all the sudden was I having back problems that made no sense. This is what has started to get me through my initial skepticism of TMS and understanding that just because the science cannot currently make all of the connections, does not mean it is not true.

I understand those of you who have accepted and embraced the diagnosis understand this is the most important step and if you cannot get over it and tell you brain to do so as well, it is impossible to get better, but as Dr. Sarno himself said, the medical industry has conditioned us trust it and raised us to be skeptical of anything not based on science.

My goal is to continue the structured educational program, today I start psychotherapy as well, and although I wish it could be with a TMS therapist I can barely afford anything else not covered by insurance after all the medical test I have gone through. Knowing that I will get better in the future gives me a lot of joy, but I am more interested now in recovering to help my mother deal with her own fibromyalgia and pain symptoms. Whether she will embrace it or not is not something I can say, but if I as a heavy science-oriented person can do this, I think so can she.

 

[Reme]

Hi, I come from a nursing background. It has really bothered me that medical tests dont find the answers to my issues.
I've also chosen not to get hung up on the oxygen deprivation thing. Deep Qi gong type breathing does help me. There is no doubt that I can shallow breathe, and back pain can make my breathing 'catch'
How this relates to Dr Sarnos oxygen deprivatation as a mind/body thing I'm not sure. ... but for me, it's not a big scientific stretch... but then my other symptoms can't be proved either ?
I'm on day 2 too.
Good luck with your recovery x

 

[ireallywantmylifeback]

Hi, I come from a nursing background. It has really bothered me that medical tests dont find the answers to my issues.
I've also chosen not to get hung up on the oxygen deprivation thing. Deep Qi gong type breathing does help me. There is no doubt that I can shallow breathe, and back pain can make my breathing 'catch'
How this relates to Dr Sarnos oxygen deprivatation as a mind/body thing I'm not sure. ... but for me, it's not a big scientific stretch... but then my other symptoms can't be proved either ?
I'm on day 2 too.
Good luck with your recovery x

So because I have been very interesting in #1 just getting better from my pain and #2 how this all works, on my spare time I try to learn more about TMS or similar things.
So in regards to mild oxygen deprivation, I found a radio interview with Dr. Sarno which seems to have taken place around 2007ish? (

) and there he explains he has not measured this himself, but on medical studies they have found how a similar process occurs (this is around 20:30), so he admits that he himself did not find an answer but provides explanation and assumptions. He was being interviewed by another doctor as well.

When I first began to hear about TMS I was really skeptical about the whole theory and a bit in denial, though also it made sense for me. However, the more I learn about Dr. Sarno the more I like him. He gives props to the traditional medical establishment in many things, but just states they are disregarding this very important thing and was even fairly sad in an interview that he was not recognized by his peers. Even with all of the praise by the patients he has had, I guess he also just wanted this to take off and help more people as well as just be known for having figured out this issue.

Also, I have this audio book that is not about TMS, but just talks about trauma and goes into a lot more scientific talk of how trauma affects us, including some detail talk about somatic manifestation of emotions. The title is "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma".

 

[zclesa]

Hi, I just did my day 2 exercises, so I hope you don't mind me jumping onto your thread.

I struggled quite a bit with journalling 3 things that anger and sadden me (guess who has hugely repressed emotions ).

At first, all I could think of were external things, not really related to me (such as social injustice), which I don't think was the point. So I didn't write them down. Instead, I looked to things that were more "personal", like about how I am treated or treat myself. I tried to find things that were less "obvious" as well. I got three of each eventually, but it was very hard. It probably doesn't help that I'm a Buddhist and tend to come at things from a position of non-anger. But I must do what I must do to heal.

Ireallywantmylifeback, the book you mention, by Bessel Van der Kolk, is incredible. I know I need to do bodywork as I do have trapped trauma and am not "embodied". I find somatic tracking really hard apart from where I've trained myself to detect stress. I don't "feel" my emotions in my body very much. I tend to leap straight to action, which is how I "know" how I'm feeling. So, if I feel the need to call someone, then I can guess I'm feeling lonely. But I don't pause long enough in the body to know this beforehand (because my body doesn't seem a safe place to be, according to Van der Kolk). I'm hoping to start Yoga, which Van der Kolk highly recommends, in order to reattach to my felt sense of self.

Have a great day everyone.