My day 2 was completed yesterday, but I am posting it today as I journaled, reflected on lots of things, and fell asleep. Then after waking up I just noticed I had forgotten to post this . Yesterday was my first day of goodnight sleep, needing no muscle relaxers for my “Pelvic floor dysfunction/scrotal pain”, nor sleep medicine, so I would call that progress. I also have been less afraid of the pain and have been feeling less of it each day since I began this program, though I would be lying if I said I am totally fearless. Although I have known my pain is not due to a serious illness for a while, and I have no structural abnormalities it has still been difficult for me to accept the TMS diagnosis. In part this comes from my scientific background that requires proof for everything. One of the things I have been hung up on TMS is that when Dr. Sarno said the pain is due to mild oxygen deprivation I wonder how this conclusion was reached, since he said it cannot be studied. Regardless, I am starting to fully embrace I have TMS as every day I get better, I also have started to think about how last year after I totally eliminated my paresthesia I suddenly could not sleep on my mattress and developed a bad back (I was just 23 years old), but I just blamed it on an old mattress I owned since 2008. However, putting the pieces together I now noticed that I always slept on this mattress with no trouble before so why all the sudden was I having back problems that made no sense. This is what has started to get me through my initial skepticism of TMS and understanding that just because the science cannot currently make all of the connections, does not mean it is not true. I understand those of you who have accepted and embraced the diagnosis understand this is the most important step and if you cannot get over it and tell you brain to do so as well, it is impossible to get better, but as Dr. Sarno himself said, the medical industry has conditioned us trust it and raised us to be skeptical of anything not based on science. My goal is to continue the structured educational program, today I start psychotherapy as well, and although I wish it could be with a TMS therapist I can barely afford anything else not covered by insurance after all the medical test I have gone through. Knowing that I will get better in the future gives me a lot of joy, but I am more interested now in recovering to help my mother deal with her own fibromyalgia and pain symptoms. Whether she will embrace it or not is not something I can say, but if I as a heavy science-oriented person can do this, I think so can she.