Hi Lala,
I know where you're coming from with this. for a while you can push the pain away and get through it but eventually it just consumes you and you start to freak out. thats what happened at fedex for me and i eventually had to quit because the pain was too much to bear anymore. the last 3 weeks to a month for me haven't been very good at all either so i know what its like to fall into that slump of feeling negative about the whole situation. I would also recommended to Read
I'm a TMSer Triathlete. I read that post like 3-4 times and it really clicks because Enrique had this pain before, he's overcomed it, and then it came back and he fell back into the physical realm again and it kind of "tricked" him. Around the bottom of that post he talks about what he did to finally overcome the pain again. I actually think im going to reread that post again too because I haven't been having the best pain days lately either. That post is really encouraging though because it shows people like yourself who have overcome the pain in the past, can have the same doubts and stuff resurface again later in life but you overcome them the same way.
If I recall he listened to Monte's tapes every day at least 15 minutes, did a scorecard to eliminate any doubt between physical and psychological, and some other stuff. I did the scorecard too and that helps when you see that the column for psychological is long as hell and the physical one is short. Don't get me wrong you'll still have doubts creep up questioning if you're doing the right thing when the pain is really bad (like when you wrote this post) but keep referring back to that scorecard to reaffirm to yourself that this couldn't possibly be plantar fasciitis or foot pain caused by physical problems.
The last few months I've really been treating my anxiety and one thing that comes up a lot with anxiety disorders is: the more you worry about it the worse it gets. Its the same thing with TMS (I think TMS and anxiety relate almost hand in hand they're kind of the same type of deal). I can tell by your post that you were kind of freaking out about the pain because it gets overwhelming but remember if you do that it makes it worse i know this from experience.
have you been doing relaxation techniques to calm down your mind/body? i talked to steve ozanich a lot about this and it was the most important thing he recommended for me since i have anxiety (GAD since I was like 7) and obsessive compulsive disorder. The relaxation techniques dont work right away.. they take some time for the body to react to them but doing something like PMR you can really tell immediately where tension is being stored in your body.
I can tell you that since i started doing PMR ive realized how on edge I feel every day (i feel really on edge writing this right now) and its not normal to feel like that all the time. i dont know if you feel like this where your chest is kind of tight and you just feel tense in general.
I would recommend reading that triathlon post a number of times, trying relaxation techniques every single day, and if you can add in physical exercise to eliminate that built up nervous tension. I need to do this too Im way out of shape and my leg bounces like crazy since I have all of this pent up energy which I know just feeds the anxiety.
