Recognized the fear today

Pingman

Pingman

Well known member
Finally starting to see a pattern evolving.

Decided to get up today even though I am having lower back and hip pain as well as glute pain and work out.

Had absolutely zero pain while walking very brisk for 45 minutes.

The second I sat down at my desk for work, I checked my back and my butt. I keep checking and can feel the anxiety rush over me when i notice a small amount of pain.

So I went from Acute Insomnia....fixed that and then my back started to hurt for no reason but only bad when I sit. So I am fearful since I sit at night with my wife and all day for work.

Went to bed last night feeling pretty good..boom I wake up anxious at 3AM.

Now if I look back, I had been worried about my DVT in September....then it moved to my swollen leg never getting better. That went away and I moved on to a large bump on my head and neck pain. That too went away and it moved to my groin...then insomnia...then to my back and glutes...now back to insomnia.

I have conditioned my mind to worry about waking up, sitting etc...

I just need to rethink and find the way to get my mind to accept the feeling of pain. That's where I am at...how to get to 100% TMS acceptance and let the pain not trick me into thinking long term. Handling the pain is not so bad, its the long term thoughts that get me.
 
You have unintentionally created a pathway in your brain that is catastrophic about harmless symptoms in your body. This keeps the symptoms going round and round in a loop with your anxiety. It seems like you are getting wise to this. Well done! Try not to bargain with the symptoms, in other words, know they will come when engaging in your normal activities but this is temporary. When the symptoms show up, not if they show up, slow down your breathing. Calm yourself with reassuring thoughts and fully immerse yourself in whatever you are doing at the time. Focus on life fully. Keep reassuring. Keep breathing. You are creating a new pathway that is calm with the pain/symptoms. When there is no more danger there will be no need for the protection. The symptoms will fade away.
 
Pingman said:
I just need to rethink and find the way to get my mind to accept the feeling of pain. That's where I am at...how to get to 100% TMS acceptance and let the pain not trick me into thinking long term. Handling the pain is not so bad, its the long term thoughts that get me.
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Yes. Great discussion! I am so happy you're finding this crux of the issue. Knowing that it is a symptom/fear habit, dancing from place to place on your body as symptoms is huge! You put it so well, your understanding that the short term is not so bad as what the mind does with it.

birdsetfree
makes some great comments here. To finally accept that there will be symptoms, and that there is nothing "wrong" with that is the path of a warrior in this work.
 
You all are so great. I am so thankful to have the support. I am really trying hard to think psychological. This go around I am having so many sleep issues coupled with anxiety I am finding it so much harder. It’s like I can’t get a break from the TMS where I use to be able to relax and watch tv or do something to get my mind away.

Only 4 hours of sleep again. All I can do is get on the treadmill and keep pushing forward.

If I am to read one book multiple times would you pick Mindbody Prescription or Healing bakc pain?
 
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birdsetfree said:
You have unintentionally created a pathway in your brain that is catastrophic about harmless symptoms in your body. This keeps the symptoms going round and round in a loop with your anxiety. It seems like you are getting wise to this. Well done! Try not to bargain with the symptoms, in other words, know they will come when engaging in your normal activities but this is temporary. When the symptoms show up, not if they show up, slow down your breathing. Calm yourself with reassuring thoughts and fully immerse yourself in whatever you are doing at the time. Focus on life fully. Keep reassuring. Keep breathing. You are creating a new pathway that is calm with the pain/symptoms. When there is no more danger there will be no need for the protection. The symptoms will fade away.
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Brilliant advice
 
How do I keep the TMS mindset after getting some "structural" info?

Yesterday I had a dermatologist appointment for my one year annual mole check, full body look over. I asked him about the pain in my lower back since we are fairly close. He felt around and said he could feel lipomas (fatty deposits) in the area where my pain was. He sent me to a chiropractor who I feel has more of a mind body philosophy.

He said he could feel them as well and they hurt when he pressed on them.

He is sending me to a lipoma expert to see about removal.

This has kinda messed me up. Now my back pain has moved to my upper back and sides as well as my lower back.

How would other approach this mentally? I feel like I have TMS components happening still and I know lipomas aren't life threatening but still unsure what mentality to take.

I am not debilitated....I can still run on the treadmill and get around. I am just fearing having pain forever if they don't remove these or if I have more than what can be taken out.
 
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