question about inability to find pain not dangerous

[Cathe]

Hello,

As many of you I have been reading different kinds of books on TMS, and I am now reading 'The Way out' by Alan Gordon.

I notice that I keep having the same "speedbump" in regards to somatic tracking, and that is that I am unable to look at my pain without finding it dangerous.

The reason is not because I think there is something structually wrong with my lower back or that I can damage it, but more that if the pain gets worse, I might not be able to enjoy the movies later that night with my partner, or I might have to cancel going out for dinner with my mom, because the pain can become so bad that I wont be able to enjoy it at all.

How do I see the pain as not dangerous, when it can rob me of these moments where I am unable to be in the moment because of the pain having ramped up by merely trying to focus on it?

As you can read, the pain does feel 'dangerous' to me because it makes me unable to enjoy these moments and it can rob me of a good experience, hence the fear stays.

 

[ValkyrKai]

Hey Cathe!

I definitely understand your fears of making your pain worse by tracking it. I think reminding yourself of the reality of the situation can do wonders. When tracking remind yourself that what you’re doing is not dangerous, it can’t hurt you. Even if you don’t believe it keep saying it. Out loud often helps me when the pain is particularly bad. What I’ve come to notice is that if I truly relax, and track my pain, it almost always ends up going away. And then that gives me proof positive that my pain is not dangerous.

as for the feelings that it will affect the enjoyment of your night I get this too. But I think it can be important to remember that you not enjoying your night, or living your life is exactly what your TMS wants. It wants you to be distracted. So the best thing you could possibly do is go out and try to enjoy yourself in spite of the pain.
I do this and sometimes it goes well, and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I think I just don’t have the mental energy to put up with the pain. And that’s okay. It doesn’t impair any progress.

I think you will probably have pain if you go out at this point regardless of whether you track it or not. So why not track it? What do you have to lose?

 

[Booble]

I might not be able to enjoy the movies later that night with my partner, or I might have to cancel going out for dinner with my mom,

I haven't read the other's responses yet so pardon me if I repeat.
I think the above quoted area is what you should focus on. Something inside is looking for a way out of going to the movie or out to dinner with your mom.
I'd suggest setting aside whether or not you see the pain as dangerous or not and instead spend some time with your inner core about why you don't won't to do those things even though you think that you do want to do those things. A paper and pen and asking your inner self those questions might bring up a lot of stuff which once out will then release the pain.

 

[Booble]

Hey Cathe!

So why not track it? What do you have to lose?

I think you possibly do have something to lose. Why give it any attention at all?
For some of us it seems best to tell it's not wanted and it's not going to get your attention.
Or say hello to it and tell it it's not necessary.
Or use it as a sign to focus on uncovering your hidden anger/emotions.
Or just set it aside altogether.

 

[Ellen]

The reason is not because I think there is something structually wrong with my lower back or that I can damage it, but more that if the pain gets worse, I might not be able to enjoy the movies later that night with my partner, or I might have to cancel going out for dinner with my mom, because the pain can become so bad that I wont be able to enjoy it at all.

Somatic tracking is a form of mindfulness. A requirement of mindfulness is to be in the present, the here and now. Your statement above demonstrates that you are ruminating on the future. Try to stay present and refrain from judgment as you practice somatic tracking. It's difficult, but gets easier with practice.

 

[Booble]

Somatic tracking is a form of mindfulness. A requirement of mindfulness is to be in the present, the here and now. Your statement above demonstrates that you are ruminating on the future. Try to stay present and refrain from judgment as you practice somatic tracking. It's difficult, but gets easier with practice.

For those who have health anxiety, staying in the present for more than 20 seconds is very difficult. It's OK if somatic tracking is not for everyone.

 

[Diana-M]

How do I see the pain as not dangerous, when it can rob me of these moments where I am unable to be in the moment because of the pain having ramped up by merely trying to focus on it?

Hi Cathe,
I think Alan says in the Way Out that if you’re in pain, you should take it easy on yourself and don’t force yourself. Other people have different approaches. Some people say to tough it out. Face it. And others say to try baby steps. Maybe dont go to dinner with your Mom. Just go for coffee. Or meet at a park briefly. Take it easy and be gentle. Whatever you decide. And it’s true somatic tracking doesn’t work for everybody. But no matter that, you have what it takes to heal. You’re doing it. Keep going!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Your statement above demonstrates that you are ruminating on the future.

@Cathe, my immediate thought was similar to Ellen's. In fact, I am visualizing a new syndrome name: it's What If? Syndrome.

WIS!

What If? Syndrome is the oh-so-common and unconscious mental condition where we allow the squirrel cage of our negative thoughts to start whirling around in a cycle of "What If...?" catastrophizing.

What If I have pain and I don't enjoy myself? What if my pain gets worse and my companions notice? What if I ruin the evening because of my pain? Oh my God what if What If WHAT IF AAAAAAAAAAAACKKKK!!!

And now your TMS brain has you exactly where it wants you.

Somatic tracking? It's just a technique, you can do it or not, but if you're obsessing about doing it, you're just feeding the squirrel cage. I learned about focused and mindful muscle relaxation decades before the term somatic tracking was invented, and I've always assumed it's the same thing. Yoga is another format to reach the same type of body focus and awareness in order to communicate with your body.

Techniques aside, ultimately this work is all about recognizing and acknowledging what your brain is doing to keep you stuck, in pain, and fearful. The next step is about your choice to continue allowing that to happen or rejecting it and consciously choosing a different path.

 

[Diana-M]

I think you possibly do have something to lose. Why give it any attention at all?
For some of us it seems best to tell it's not wanted and it's not going to get your attention.
Or say hello to it and tell it it's not necessary.
Or use it as a sign to focus on uncovering your hidden anger/emotions.
Or just set it aside altogether.

I think it really does take experimenting to find what works best for each person. Somatic tracking works really well for me. But talking to my brain and telling it to stop didn’t.

 

[Diana-M]

The next step is about your choice to continue allowing that to happen or rejecting it and consciously choosing a different path.

I like this! Always choosing a different path.

 

[Cactusflower]

If that works on anyone I'll be impressed, I can't control my brain most times.

Why do you a) believe it and b) let it boss you around?

The most effective (for me) thing I've seen about dealing with obsessive thoughts and reclaiming my power over them was an interview with a neuroscientist and a doctor.
The doctor asked about the anxiety, the inner voice etc and the neurosurgeon answered "why would you let any organ in your body boss you around? Do you let your liver tell you what to do? Does your kidney boss you around? The brain is an organ and no different than a kidney or a liver". This absolutely flipped me over to not believing the crap my brain tries to tell me. Sure it still goes on and on and on, but I don't believe it and I tell it "I'm the boss", "I'll let you know what's true", and laugh at the nonsense it can think up to try and scare me or make me feel bad about myself. It's not about not thinking or your brain not generating a bunch of crap - brains do that or we'd be empty shells. It's about what you believe and if you allow the thoughts to become your truth. You have far more power than you think you do.