I've started this thread as an 'overflow' from another thread because I was going off topic. Below I've quoted @Diana-M from that other thread, and what follows is my response, which she advised me she found helpful and of some comfort. When I deleted my posting I thought I hadn't saved the original draft, but I just found it, so I'm posting it up here in case it might gel with anyone else:
I asked perplexity.ai to help me out with some ideas about this and the following is what it came up with (in case it's of interest to you or anyone else coming across this thread):
"That feeling of being stuck—wondering if things will ever really change—can often be traced back to deep disappointment with both the world and our relatives, friends and associates. When life or loved ones don’t meet our hopes or needs, it’s easy for that letdown to build up, sometimes turning into frustration or even quiet rage. Many of us expect understanding, fairness, or a certain kind of support, and when reality falls short, disappointment creeps in, reinforcing the pain and making it feel never-ending.
Acknowledging Disappointment
The first step is gently acknowledging how much disappointment hurts—admitting that it’s there, even if it feels uncomfortable or vulnerable. It’s a human response to want more kindness from life and others. Sometimes disappointment lingers because it feels like neither the world nor our relatives can really give what we need.
Overcoming Disappointment
Moving through disappointment means letting go of expecting others or life to change in all the ways we wish. Some find relief by:
@Diana-M I've been thinking about this and it seems to me that what you may be being affected by is 'disappointment' (which can be enraging of course). On my baby steps 'journey' I believe I have processed some of my 'disappointment' with people and with how my life's panned out generally, and that has contributed to my being able to progress to where I am now (as you know, not completely symptom free but almost there). I hate the sinking feeling that 'disappointment' gives me, for me it's akin to a mixture of grief and regret, and thinking about this, I realise that there's still 'disappointment' left that I need to process.
I asked perplexity.ai to help me out with some ideas about this and the following is what it came up with (in case it's of interest to you or anyone else coming across this thread):
"That feeling of being stuck—wondering if things will ever really change—can often be traced back to deep disappointment with both the world and our relatives, friends and associates. When life or loved ones don’t meet our hopes or needs, it’s easy for that letdown to build up, sometimes turning into frustration or even quiet rage. Many of us expect understanding, fairness, or a certain kind of support, and when reality falls short, disappointment creeps in, reinforcing the pain and making it feel never-ending.
Acknowledging Disappointment
The first step is gently acknowledging how much disappointment hurts—admitting that it’s there, even if it feels uncomfortable or vulnerable. It’s a human response to want more kindness from life and others. Sometimes disappointment lingers because it feels like neither the world nor our relatives can really give what we need.
Overcoming Disappointment
Moving through disappointment means letting go of expecting others or life to change in all the ways we wish. Some find relief by:
- Allowing themselves to grieve what hasn’t worked out, instead of fighting or denying those feelings.
- Lowering expectations—not to give up, but so that small moments of connection or peace start to matter more than big changes.
- Practicing compassion towards themselves, recognizing how hard it is to carry disappointment and still keep going.
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Receiving your letters will be making him realise that he's special and important to you.