(Plz help me)Frozen emotion. Dissociation. How can I deal with?

[Simmon]

I've tried to feel my deep negative emotions using Journaling, self-talking and even hypnosis. But the thing is since I put too much effort, finally I can't feel nothing about my past events during journaling and even hypnosis. Literally, emotionally frozen and feel like emotionally anesthetized. I even feel like my past traumas are the other's businesses. I found this is called a kind of "dissociation phenomenon" .The only thing I can feel is fast beating heart(anxiety) and pain all day. I found that apathy(frozen emtion) is the result of extreme resistance(kind of defense mechanism). Some advisor told me I sould do nothing for the time being. Otherwise, my resistance wil get worse. But another advisor told me i should feel the resistance itself while making EFT affirmations("I choose to take responsibility for my life and feel emotion")frequently. My efforts so far have made me emotionless as a result, so I'm afraid that if I try more, the resistance will be worse than it is now, so I won't be able to continue feeling emotions in the future. I already meditate everyday. Give me some other advise please. How can I unfreeze my emotion?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

@Simmon, I thought your name was familiar, and indeed, I just reviewed your posts from last year - but I feel like you never gave us enough information about your emotional situation, so I have nothing new to advise.

You received suggestions several times to do the emotional work, specifically our Structured Educational Program, but I'm not sure you ever did that.

Here is something that won't take you too much time, but it requires that you honestly answer ten questions about your childhood. It is called the "ACEs quiz" and it is linked and described here: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-online-printable-versions.27061/ (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions)
Be sure to read the entire top post (although the discussion which follows is interesting). Read the entire NPR article (it's not too long) and, again, answer the questions very honestly. Maybe this will give us a chance to try again.

 

[Simmon]

I kept tried Structured Educational Program. But due to the dissociation phenomenon caused by extreme stress(I'm in a state of extreme anxiety and some sort of panic because I've been sick all day for too long and I don't get better even with numerous treatments.), I 'm not able to feel any emotion even while journaling according to the program. Literally, the past and present of suffering from severe chronic pain are trauma to me. The result of the test you attached was 0. However, technically speaking, in the past, when my father fought with his mother, he sometimes threw things (not toward mom or me but the floor) in anger. My dad was often angry while driving the car, so I was anxious about getting in the car he was driving. Anyway, what I want to know is that how i get out of a state of extreme panic(anxiety) and feel emotions again about bad things in the past. As I've already written in the article, journaling about the past didn't help me feel emotions again. Journalizing to bring out repressed emotions from unconsciousness is originally the purpose of journalizing, but I think it isn't helpful if i can't feel any emotions like it's someone else's job while writing.

 

[Cactusflower]

I was in a similar situation.
Starting with doing some work to calm your nervous system might help. You need to get to the point you do a program, but it’s ok to take time getting there. Taking a break from journaling is ok too, until you can get in a better headspace.
Don’t sweat it if you aren’t aware of all your emotions. Start by reading aClaire Weekes book. Her advice is the best for anxiety. Easy to follow.
Here is a video about some nervous system work:

this same man has easy Qui Gong videos you can do for relaxing movement on his YouTube channel.

Here is another excellent YouTube channel for TMS. Miriam also has some great ideas.

Once you feel a little bit better, you can start the program slowly. Don’t worry if it increases anxiety. It might, and you’ll be ok. Don’t worry if you don’t feel all your emotions at first. That’s ok too. Eventually you will feel better.
If you feel you need help, there are options, but give it some time first. That might be weeks or a few months. It’s ok to take your time.
Options are going for therapy for the anxiety, and/or prescription medication to help temporarily -whatever it takes so you can get to the point of being able to do the TMS work.