You give it time.
I went back and looked at your entries on this thread and it is clear that you are all over the place in a panic. You can not achieve any progress in this condition.
I think your biggest problem is that you see yourself as a victim of TMS, and you are very attached to that idea.
The truth about reality is that you will not recover as long as this idea is your addiction. And believe me, it IS an addiction, and in my observations, it is strongly associated with OCD, which is another form of addictive behavior.
It's also a fact that you can't just throw away victimhood unless you have a healthy idea of yourself to take its place.
It's actually just that simple in theory. Simple to say, but not easy to achieve.
Personally, in my unqualified opinion, based only on years of observation here, I think you probably need professional psychotherapy. I know that you said you've tried it before, and you had some excuse why you gave it up. The right psychotherapist for you is going to be somebody who makes you uncomfortable and forces you to face things you do not want to talk about. If you can't be honest about accepting discomfort and examining things that scare you, then you will not recover.
I noticed how many times you ask for somebody to talk to - that's why we pay therapists. It is not a quick process. There is no magic solution. It takes time and a willingness to stick with it and to accept extreme discomfort.
What a judgemental and insensitive thing to say, completely unwarranted too. You have no idea about my life or who i am. Yes i have a ton of problems and ive never tried to run from them but this is so outrageously judgemental it honestly shocks with me.
Why cant i be a victim? I was born half deaf with an iq in the 99.9th percentile, left to fend entirely for myself. Never got help from anyone, was bullied completely out of the regular living spaces in my own home, and have had ocd since forever. I have already told you about pocd striking at 6 yo. You should know better than just to tell me 'stop with the what ifs like that' im trying. Yet after all my hardship, everything ive been through, reaching to this point, where i have pretty much lost life, i still come here, to improve and to be genuine.
I thought your first comment was already borderline rude but i appreciated is as the tough love ive usually liked. This however comes off way more judgemental and just completely out of touch. Okay, you can take offense at my fears and my problems, but just dont respond then.
"You MUST stop the "what ifs"", how helpful, as if i havent heard that a million times already. As if when i was a 6 yo and crying all alone in my bed if only id known that. If only i knew that i wasnt actually dying of rabies. How incredibly helpful of you.
I may grieve about the life that ive lost all i want. Ive been born with an incredibly tough set of traits -- most of which i have not yet spoken about -- and all these traits would add up to a suicide rate thousands of percentages higher than yours. Ive never been understood
Being too tough is exactly why ive come here. I have always told myself to just simply ignore whatever and to man up. That has brought me here. When i got hyperacusis first the first thing i did was 'man up' this 'man up' that. I have realized i need to make changes, but they dont happen overnight. And yes, im still an incredibly anxious person, yet perfectly capable of giving and receiving love.
Outrageous comments, youve been the only one coming at me back handed like this at the start. I wont let you take me out like this though. I will simply continue -- if only out of spite. I have been through way worse than Jan being rude and judgemental.
I cant fucking go to a psychotherapist. I can no longer talk, as ive already told you a billion times. I'm here in my attic, have lost all the people around me, and coming here to your forum to improve myself. You should feel respected and perhaps give some respect back.
