Pain, weakness, tremor.

I am new to this forum, but I have read just about everything about TMS and I believe I have TMS. I have been diagnosed to have TMS> yet I have not yet recovered at all.

I have sciatica pain and weakness and spasms and tremors in my left leg. My left arm is weak and tremors and spasms. I am so anxious and have panic attacks. I cant take care of myself and can not get in and out of bed or drive. I have to have 24 hour care. I have to use a walker and I have depression due to all this disability.
I believe the diagnosis and I try to feel my feelings ... but it is difficult to know what i am feeling. i know i am anxious ... that comes thru loud and clear.
I also seem to have writers block as far as journaling is concerned.
I would love some help and input. Has anyone had these symptoms?
Any help would be apppreciated.
THANK YOU

Barbara

 

Have you read Steven Ray Ozanich's THE GREAT PAIN DECEPTION. For me this has been the best book out there on TMS as Steven suffered for 30 years from chronic pain (mostly back, but he had sciatica, anxiety, foot drop, chronic cough and a whole other long list of symptoms), found Sarno and healed within 15 months and has now been pain/illness free for 10 years. He is an inspiration and his book really talks about the whys, the deeper whys of TMS. Best of luck...you can do this. You can heal.
Lara

 

Hi Lara

Thank you for your reply and encouragement.

I read Steve's book many times. I love it. it is the best!

I guess I just am not figuring out how to get out of this mess.

I am losing hope!

Any ideas or pointers would be greatly appreciated.

thank you

Barbara

 

Barbara,
Do not lose hope? I know exactly what you mean about the tremors and the sciatic!!! I have had them both.

What is working for me? Is when that happens I try not to get fearful and deep breath. What really made
a very big difference that has started me on the right path is reading Fred Amir's book; Rapid Recovery
for Back and Neck Pain. I started to really listen to my thought life. Many times I did not realize it but
I was telling myself you won't be able to that it will be too painful. I use to just walk a few steps and had
to sit. It was really getting me down. Then, I started to change my thought pattern saying I can do this
I am strong and my body is at ease. I used Amir's visualization techniques and they really work. The
activity that I could not do I started imaging myself doing it over and over again, especially before I
went to bed. I could not even stand in the shower. Now, I am standing without any problem. For me, I
had to learn how to push against the pain that really worked but it was really difficult.

Please, please do not give up. Your solution is out there. Believe you can be healed and this is not forever.
Hope that helps. G.R.

 

G.R.

Thank you !

I read Fred's book a while back and cant find it.

Can you tell me more about the visualization. How often did you do it ... how long did it take to get better?

Another problem i have is dizziness and balance problems ... i fall backwards. Has anyone experienced this?

I am afrid because my symptoms are so weird and severe/.

Barbara

 

Hi Barbara
Since you indicate you've received a TMS diagnosis I expect your doctors have ruled out neurological causes for any of your symptoms, if that is not the case, please start there. I have anxiety and depression as well as TMS and I have experienced the dizziness and balance problems. My experience with those particular symptoms is that they go hand in hand with a rise in anxiety/panic. I lean against a wall when it happens, breathe deeply and ask myself (out loud if possible) "what am I afraid of"? I used to sit down when it would happen but I think that sends the wrong message to my subconscious. If I'm standing, breathing, and talking the subconscious is not in control, which is the sole intention for me - it's just another diversion tactic of that tricky subconscious - anything to keep you from feeling what you're feeling.
Leslie

 

Barbara,
One of the things I really learned was the more I concentrated on the symptoms, especially the pain the more they would intensify.
It is very much a catch-22 to shift your attention on something else. What helped me the most to decrease my symptoms was to get
on the internet and focus my attention on that. The symptoms feed on attention and fear. For me, the more I tried to figure out my
weird symptoms the more they would increase. So, I stopped and it has gotten better.

Visualization- I visualized right before I went to bed. I visualized myself fighting with my subconscious and winning. I made the visualization
very detailed and I attached positive emotions with them. Then, I would visualize myself parking my car and going up three long flights
of steps outdoors, then walking three blocks to get to my office. I would try to see every detail; the trees, the benches, the wind blowing.
IN THE VISUALIZATION, YOU ARE SEEING YOURSELF DOING THE ACTIVITY WITHOUT PAIN AND VERY HAPPY.
I did this visualization over and over again before bed and every time during the day I could. I tried not to put pressure on myself but
had fun doing it. It took about nine days of doing it over and over again. Then I would set small goals for myself of actually doing the activity.

First, I would actually go to my place of work when I was not working and do small parts of my visualization. For ex., I would physically go up the
three flight of steps expecting no pain. Then, the next day I would go up and down the flight of steps expecting no pain. I kept doing
this until I had reached the elevator with little pain. It took about 8 days. I was so surprised because I could hardly walk without pain.
I would have to sit every minute the pain was so bad and so were the tremors. When I would see the steps I would get so excited and
happy to climb them. Before, I would feel dread and fear just looking at them. I know the visualization worked.

I can know walk up the three flight of steps and about three blocks to get to the elevator with little pain. Sometimes, when I get to the
elevator I have pain but I do not fear and tell myself I did a good job. For me, I do what Fred Amir says and I push against the pain;
that really worked for me. I still have to push against the pain and tingling at different times. Sometimes, it is worse then others.

I just keep believing it is going to get better and better and better. Everyday I go over my accomplishments even if they are really small before
I go to bed. I like to write the accomplishments out in my notebook. I try not to get discouraged when I have a setback.
Hope that helps,
G.R.

 

I completely agree! Confidence and "baby steps" are key.

 

Thank you so much for your post.

I'm retreading Fred's book

I am learning.

Barbara

 

Barbara,
What is working for you? I am trying to journal more regularly. I know that will help and I am listening to all my thoughts.
I am getting rid of any negative thoughts.
G.R.

 

I am doing the same as you are doing.

I am reading these discussions and testimonies and books about TMS.

Any other advice would be appreciated.

Barbara

 

Hi Forest

I am still struggling.

Thank u for ur help.


any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Barbara

 

Hi Barbara
I'm so sorry to learn that you are still struggling. You reference difficulty with journaling in your initial post here. Are you still struggling with it? I found it very difficult to benefit from for the first few weeks and I couldn't figure out why. When I went back and re-read what I had written I realized that I was completely missing the point of the exercise - rather than writing about how something made me "feel", my entries read more like news reports - no feeling, just facts. That's when I realized how deeply my feelings really are buried. You also indicate that you've read quite a bit. Have you read Scott Brady's Pain Free For Life? The chapters in there on personality traits and in-depth journaling have helped me to increase the benefit I notice from journaling - and the pages of questions to get your thoughts going were like visiting a therapist. I've learned that the ones that I can't answer (excluding the ones that don't apply to my life circumstances at all), don't have any "immediate" thoughts about, or generate little to no "feeling" are more often than not the ones where my focus is needed - that's almost always where the pain is hiding. Additionally, I would suggest you read G.R.'s post in the support forum requesting journaling specifics if you haven't done so already - there is a lot of great info in there to help with the road blocks.

If you are able to recognize any specific struggles you are experiencing, I expect you will get a great deal of assistance and encouragement if they are areas you are comfortable posting about on the forum. Try to be patient with yourself - I realize that is much easier to type than it is to actually do - I struggle with it every minute of every day myself. Make sure you are recognizing and counting ALL of your victories no matter how insignificant they may appear - they all add up- each one you realize (or can get someone else to point out to you) increases your strength and conviction.

 

This is great advice you're getting here, Barbara. Your symptoms sound tragically debilitating and scary. They also sound like where I thought I was headed in the summer of 2011, before I discovered Dr. Sarno, just in time.

Visualization and self-talk are going to be important tools for you - and you're going to have to force yourself to do them just when you are most vulnerable and wanting to give up. They are both very powerful techniques for cutting off the inner negative dialogue - the self-defeating dialogue of anxiety and depression. When I stop and allow myself to do them, I can turn around a panic attack almost immediately.

If you can start lessening your anxiety and get some control back, maybe you will be more successful at uncovering the emotional basis for your symptoms, and then you can experience even more relief. Right now your brain is doing a really good job distracting you - it's even got you convinced that you can't journal. Uh huh!

To learn visualization techniques, get hold of a little book called Creative Visualizations by Shakti Gawain. I read it in the early 1980s. My personal favorite is the Pink Balloon meditation. GR described how he visualizes himself being healthy and doing whatever he wants - that's a perfect one to put in the pink balloon meditation.

To learn about positive self-talk, I recommend the DVD of "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. She also has lots of books and CDs. I've downloaded her books and audiobooks from my public library, and I checked out the DVD from my library.

Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes is the classic resource for those of us who are prone to crippling anxiety. Also a small book, easy to read, and very comforting. Her description of severe panic attacks (and what we used to call nervous breakdowns) will convince you that you are not alone.

You don't mention psychotherapy, which for many people with TMS is essential to their healing, but it does require the "right" therapist who totally buys into the mind body connection. ISTDP (Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy) is reported to be pretty effective. I like the concepts of Existential Psychotherapy (see Dr. Peter Zafirides) which really helped me last year during two personal tragedies.

You do need to stop obsessing about your symptoms. I know (very well) that they are scary, but when you post here, try to just say "my symptoms" without spending any time describing them. They're just TMS, and everyone's symptoms are slightly different - our brains are very tricky in making sure they are all slightly different, so we can keep worrying about them instead of uncovering the emotions that they are covering up.

Above all, Barbara - love yourself! OMG - what a hard concept that is for us goodists - why is that??? I'm the worst at beating myself up, so I know it's hard - but you can't truly heal until you love yourself enough that you know you deserve to heal. And you DO!

The fact that you're here and that you're asking for help are two reasons to give yourself credit and self-love. It's a great start!

Keep posting - we're all in this together.

Jan

 

hi,
thank you all for your responses.

I appreciate all of the advice and caring.

I am working on everything!

I am reading and absorbing all of the information and thet hope that you all give me.

blessings

Barbara

 

Barbara,
I thought you might be interested in this article on the TMS wiki. It is called Breaking the Pain Cycle by Alan Gordon.
I am sure it is easy to find. It really has and is helping me. Let me know if you read it, so we can compare notes.
You are doing so awesome. Keep your mind on the positive and all the blessings in your life. I am constantly trying my
best to do that.
G.R.

 

Hi GR

Thank u I thought the article was excellent.

Now all I have to do is do what he says.


I'm hopeful.

Barbara